The Old Rugged Cross

[inyati13]

I visited mom Thursday afternoon. I grasped her wrists and lifted her arms up to my chest. I looked at mom, "Mom, this is Ronnie." "I know who it is." She responded. Within 30 minutes, she was non-responsive, mouth agape, and breathing shallow breaths.

My sister stayed with her all night. Mom woke the next morning. My sister ask if she wanted something to eat. "Oh, yes. I would like biscuits and gravy." Whenever I took mom to breakfast whether it was Wyoming, Montana or the local restaurant, she would ask, "Do you have biscuits and gravy?" If the waitress said yes, she would say, "That is what I would like, honey." Then she would tell me, they are not as good as my mother's.
Mom drank half a glass of orange juice. The Chaplin came in and they prayed. He leaned over and ask mom if there was anything he could do. She said, "Yes, would you sing the Old Rugged Cross with me." My brother videoed it on his cell phone. It was the last words that would ever come from her mouth.

I got there about 10 am. She was non-responsive. I left to check the cows. The farm is 3 miles from the Nursing Home. When I got to the gate, I got a call asking me to come right back. Mom had died about 5 minutes after I left.

In the early 40s, mom was a member of a gospel trio that traveled and performed at Revivals. She played the organ and piano by ear. She had a cheap electric organ at the home place. She often played for the family and guests. Her favorite song was The Old Rugged Cross. There was an organ in the dining room at the nursing home and up until her death, she played for the residents. As recently as a week ago, she played the Old Rugged Cross for all the residents.

I am not a person who cries. Until this morning, I had not shed a tear in the wake of mom's passing. I drove to the locked gate into the farm this morning. Standing alertly in the corner of the Bull Pen was Star with her newborn calf. I put my forehead against the steering wheel and I cried. It was an expression of joy and sorrow. It took the bright shiny face of a newborn calf to release those emotions. It was like the first shot of whiskey at the end of a stressful day.

BRED 7/13/14; AI TO IN FORCE SS SIMANGUS BULL; 5/8 SM; CE 18.7; BW -3.2
BORN TODAY 277 DAYS GESTATION; 65 POUND HEIFER CALF

 

[melking]

I am not ashamed to say that a newborn calf has made me cry too. Perhaps it is the realization that life continues that confirms our sorrow and joy.

 

[Deepsouth]

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
  The emblem of suff'ring and shame,
And I love that old cross where the Dearest and Best
  For a world of lost sinners was slain. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
  And exchange it some day for a crown.


Beautiful calf Ron.

 

[cowmilker]

Well, who are you going to name her after?

 

[3waycross]

The best version I have ever heard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa1afzmDL1Q

If I could wish one thing for you Ron it would be that your heart would some day find a way to believe............

Your heart Ron.........not your head.

 

[M-5]

Ron, Nice Calf, I suspect it wont be the last time you feel and weep. This event will change your life if you let it and see the signs.

 

[TexasBred]

The best version I have ever heard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa1afzmDL1Q

If I could wish one thing for you Ron it would be that your heart would some day find a way to believe............

Your heart Ron.........not your head.

Amen Brother

 

[highgrit]

Ron that's a beauty of a calf, and the right size. My Mom's been gone for 3 years and I still think about her all the time. He sure as heck doesn't need no preaching too. IMO

 

[J&D Cattle]

Nothing wrong with those tears Ron. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Friend sang that song at Grandpa's funeral. I can't hear it without tearing up or shedding a few.

Beauty of a calf too!

 

[Williamsv]

Those tears needed to come. That will help you. Only time will make it easier. I am watching my mother fail a little more every day. It is the hardest thing that I have ever been through. Some days I do not know how much longer I can hold out. She is 91 and in a nursing home 21miles from here. I go for three or four hours seven days a week. Time now to get on the road now.

Beautiful cow and calf. Reminds me of my cow Star. A baby calf often brings tears to my eyes.
Go ahead and cry when you need to. I taught that in Health for many years. Nothing is wrong with a good cry. It always helps.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love The Old Rugged Cross too.

 

[FlyingLSimmentals]

Sounds like an awesome mom whom had it all figured out, praying for you Ron. Great looking calf. How much would you want for her, say at 6 or 7 months old? If you don't plan on keeping her I might be intrigued if she continues to grow nicely and I cull some older cows.

 

[Judge Sharpe]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my mother some years ago to dementia and heart disease. Her mind left her about two years before she passed away, was bed ridden and unable to communicate. It broke my heart to see her that way knowing how vibrant a young woman she had been. It was a blessing when she finally went to be with my father. I think of her everyday. Some small thing will come up, a flower she loved, her great grandchildren she never knew, my sons she loved so much. The only thing is that I am able to laugh at the funny things we did, and smile at the memory of the way she was. The painful things have faded into the back ground now. I was not there the day she passed, but her nurse said she was in a good mood and had just finished a piece of chocolate cake.
I understand that you are not a believer in Christ or God, and that's your decision. It does not change a thing about my sympathy for you and your family for your loss. So accept my thoughts if not my prayers dear friend. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
Bill Brower

 

[branguscowgirl]

I feel for what you are going through Ron.
Sad for the loss of your mother, yet happy for your new healthy calf. It is an emotional time. Thinking of you and your family, and praying for your peace.

 

[mwj]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my mother some years ago to dementia and heart disease. Her mind left her about two years before she passed away, was bed ridden and unable to communicate. It broke my heart to see her that way knowing how vibrant a young woman she had been. It was a blessing when she finally went to be with my father. I think of her everyday. Some small thing will come up, a flower she loved, her great grandchildren she never knew, my sons she loved so much. The only thing is that I am able to laugh at the funny things we did, and smile at the memory of the way she was. The painful things have faded into the back ground now. I was not there the day she passed, but her nurse said she was in a good mood and had just finished a piece of chocolate cake.
I understand that you are not a believer in Christ or God, and that's your decision. It does not change a thing about my sympathy for you and your family for your loss. So accept my thoughts if not my prayers dear friend. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
Bill Brower

Bill I would just like to say that this is one of the nicest posts I have read on this board!

 

[Rafter S]

I'm sorry for your loss. And that is a great song. "How Great Thou Art" is the only one I can think of off the top of my head that compares to it.

 

[wacocowboy]

The best version I have ever heard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa1afzmDL1Q

If I could wish one thing for you Ron it would be that your heart would some day find a way to believe............

Your heart Ron.........not your head.

Amen Brother

x2

Beautiful calf and a beautiful song

 

[inyati13]

Thanks for the wonderful responses. I enjoy expressing thoughts and feelings in written format. My reward is providing someone, even one person, something of value. In these responses, I have received something of value.

Mr. Bill Brower: I cannot respond to you in like kind. I don't have the words to repay your compassionate gift. I will simply say a deep felt, Thank You my very fine friend.

Cowmilker: How did you know? Dorothy May.

Highgrit: I was pleased with a moderation in my birthweights. I think what Kris has been telling me all along is true. I have been using Angus bulls on Simangus cows. She has been a strong advocate of using low birthweight Simmentals or at least percentage simmentals. The two smallest calves have been a result of Simangus Bulls. The Rimrock calf was 80 pounds and this In Force calf is 65 pounds. Plus my herd bull is Simangus and his calves have not been overly heavy. My biggest calves are coming from Angus bulls. I plan to post more of my thoughts on birth weights.

Mike - FlyingLSimmentals: I plan to retain this calf if it grows out like I expect it to. Star is one of my favorite cows. She has very good qualities. In Force is a good bull. I have high expectations.

 

[greybeard]

Healing and some measure of peace will come over time. People will deal with loss their own way, and in their own time, and the interment service itself, is never enough.

My father was a workaholic. His funeral was in the late morning, I did the eulogy, and after the service, we met for a meal at his favorite eating establishment--they knew him well there, and made room for our large party---the owner came over, extended his condolences, and insisted on picking up the tab. Dad was well known there before he developed dementia--a celebration meal, a remembrance.
When I returned home around 2pm, I just changed clothes, hooked a bush hog on to his favorite tractor and went to work on the biggest and roughest part of a piece of property my sister now owns. Early June, it was already hot, dirty, leaves and crap falling. Got hung up between trees several times, had to drop it loose from the mower, then pull the mower out backwards with a chain. Sheared 2 drive line pins. Lost a lift arm pin. It was rough going, mostly in the blind from tall underbrush, big vines, I worked till dark and got it cleared, and cried every inch of the way. My wife didn't understand, but it's what he would have done, had the situation been reversed.

This will not be the last time you feel sorrow and grief Ron, but you will find a way each time, to make that grief bearable, and healing.

 

[inyati13]

Healing and some measure of peace will come over time. People will deal with loss their own way, and in their own time, and the interment service itself, is never enough.

My father was a workaholic. His funeral was in the late morning, I did the eulogy, and after the service, we met for a meal at his favorite eating establishment--they knew him well there, and made room for our large party---the owner came over, extended his condolences, and insisted on picking up the tab. Dad was well known there before he developed dementia--a celebration meal, a remembrance.
When I returned home around 2pm, I just changed clothes, hooked a bush hog on to his favorite tractor and went to work on the biggest and roughest part of a piece of property my sister now owns. Early June, it was already hot, dirty, leaves and crap falling. Got hung up between trees several times, had to drop it loose from the mower, then pull the mower out backwards with a chain. Sheared 2 drive line pins. Lost a lift arm pin. It was rough going, mostly in the blind from tall underbrush, big vines, I worked till dark and got it cleared, and cried every inch of the way. My wife didn't understand, but it's what he would have done, had the situation been reversed.

This will not be the last time you feel sorrow and grief Ron, but you will find a way each time, to make that grief bearable, and healing.

Thanks. :nod:

 

[Caustic Burno]

Mom's birthday is tomorrow 4/17/1914 she has been gone since 7/7/2002 never a day
goes by without a memory.