On the Campaign Trail with Crowder and me...

[flaboy-]

Did you say $59.95??? That must be one HIGH QUALITY T-shirt for that kind of money. Does it feature a likeness of the upcoming president or something more scenic?

Well, it's a one size fits all. I heard there is 55 square yards of material in each shirt. It took that much to make sure it would cover the biggest heifer in the Krispy Kreme car.

The shirts will be limited to two words, front and back so even those Tennessee boys will get them on right. The front pocket wasn't a big enough clue for them. :lol:

 

[Bullbuyer]

Glad to see flaboy back with us! Now we can get some non-biased opinions around here.

 

[warpaint]

Glad to see flaboy back with us! Now we can get some non-biased opinions around here.

:shock: :shock: :shock:

What you talkin bout Willis?

 

[Bullbuyer]

Just talkin' bout gettin some HONEST, non-biased opinions on certain topics. Like Crowder's birth, his real motivation behind running for office and why it is ya'll boys don't like that truckstop.

 

[warpaint]

Just talkin' bout gettin some HONEST, non-biased opinions on certain topics. Like Crowder's birth, his real motivation behind running for office and why it is ya'll boys don't like that truckstop.

We been as honest with you as we know how to be.
Askin flaboy's opinion is just askin fer trouble.
He's always been jealous of our side of the family. ;-)

 

[Crowderfarms]

Just talkin' bout gettin some HONEST, non-biased opinions on certain topics. Like Crowder's birth, his real motivation behind running for office and why it is ya'll boys don't like that truckstop.

Why are you so interested in my Birth? We've told told you. Me, Paint and Scout was quadtriplets. We had a 4th litter mate,Cowgirl580, but she ran off like a Turpentined Dog, when our Mother was arrested for leaving the scene of a accident.Guess she thought there was a warrant out on her too or Sumpin.

As for that Truck Stop...It's full of Carpet baggers, and assorted crooks usually attemtin' to seek asylum here in TN.I seen them big ol' T/A signs out front and thought it was a strip joint, and only thing I saw get stripped was a poor ol' fellers wallet, by some dude from W. Va. sayin' he needed money for gas to get back home.

 

[warpaint]

You done went and opened up old wounds!! :?

Just about the time the pain starts to heal, you have to go and mention our long lost sis. Maybe she'll make Christmas at Ma's this year. :drink:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Last I heard, she was Crowned a Single Wide Bride, somewhere around Backhoe's area.Bet she's got 8-9 Chirrens all kin to us and we dont even know em'. I'd be sendin' the Posse to flush her out, but bein' in Texas, might be way safer to stay here!! :shock: Shoot, she may even be Backhoe's Wife!

 

[warpaint]

Oh no, not that!
Say it aint so!

Sounds like we need to go on a recon mission. :nod:

I wish you had passed this info on sooner. Maybe there was sumpthin we coulda done to stop it.

 

[Crowderfarms]

May of been all them Gas Royalties that tracted her there...

Wait til she finds out Farts are worthless.

I tried to tell her to get a Man of substance. Someone like a Janitor,Trash Man,Disability Recipient, a BulBuyer, A construction Worker, a Flaboy or to even Marry her own Brother!

Dang Wimmens wont listen. They always think the cash is greener on the other side.

 

[warpaint]

I thunk we had her hid right good. Up in them mountains an all. Them there Texicans shore musta done some lookin.

 

[Bullbuyer]

Fellers - Here's my concern regardin' your birfs:
To be duly elected to the office of President of the United States of America, you must have been born in America.
Thar's the problem! I was concerned that maybe your mother hatched you all in one of them Mexican prisons she spent so much time in - feller at the truck stop says "NO", ya'll was birfed in Tenn.

I was asking for money at that T/A truckstop. I was a quarter short when I went to pay for my gas. So I told this guy " I need a quarter to get back to WV" He says, "Here's a dollar, take three more hillbillies with ya."
I didn't think it was near as funny as everybody else did.

 

[flaboy-]

Better send a picture of her along to me Crowder just make sure I ain't already been married to her ba-fore. :lol:

 

[warpaint]

Fellers - Here's my concern regardin' your birfs:
To be duly elected to the office of President of the United States of America, you must have been born in America.
Thar's the problem! I was concerned that maybe your mother hatched you all in one of them Mexican prisons she spent so much time in - feller at the truck stop says "NO", ya'll was birfed in Tenn.

I was asking for money at that T/A truckstop. I was a quarter short when I went to pay for my gas. So I told this guy " I need a quarter to get back to WV" He says, "Here's a dollar, take three more hillbillies with ya."
I didn't think it was near as funny as everybody else did.

American by birth, Southern by the Grace of God!!! :cboy:

 

[Bullbuyer]

Too true!

I do need some quick advice. I'm heading to Ohio tomorrow - does anybody know any useful phrases that I can use with the natives in case I'm attacked?

 

[warpaint]

Don't know, why not contact Cert for some of the local lingo?

 

[Bullbuyer]

Don't know, why not contact Cert for some of the local lingo?

Might not understand the answer I get!

 

[warpaint]

Now that gives me an idear.

Foxworthy has a redneck dictionary, think I'll write me a Yankee dictionary.

Just one problem, I'll have to get a Yankee to translate for me.

 

[flaboy-]

Too true!

I do need some quick advice. I'm heading to Ohio tomorrow - does anybody know any useful phrases that I can use with the natives in case I'm attacked?

How about;

Kiss my grits - while they are trying to figure out what grits are you can be long gone.

You gonna cut bait or fish boys? When they just stare at each other, just walk off.

Afore you boys have a hissie fit or a conniption fit, which way is cattywumpus? When you get the deer in the head lights look, just walk away.

And if you are feeling froggish - Is that your wife over there? She is so ugly she'd run a dog off a meat wagon. :lol:

 

[Bullbuyer]

I was wainting to use my favoritest comment:
"Tell your wife I said thanks for breakfast.' or the other one
"How's your wife and my kids?"

Figured I'd spend way too much time trying to expalin that to 'em.