On the Campaign Trail with Crowder and me...

[warpaint]

Due to some folks writin and callin us about not seein Crowder's name on their ballots in the recent election, we thought we ought to get out and edumacate some of ya'll citizens. (Seein as how this weren't no Presidential type election, ya'll weren't gonna see his name on no ballots.)

With that in mind, we are planning a whirlwind campaign tour thru 7 states in 7 days.
We was gonna go by plane but the cropduster couldn't hold more'n 1 other person, so's I come up with the idear to take a train, like them fellars did in the old days.

For the low. low price of 10,000 dollars a day, you can be a part of this event in history. For this generous donation to our cause, you will receive first class accomadations.
1. you will get a piller so's you can sleep right there on the bench you'll be sittin on.
2. you will get a potted meat sammich to share with your feller seat mate.
3. you will be allowed the oppurtunity to put wood in the stove, as it more'n likely will be gettin a mite chilly without winders.
4. one lucky contributor will get to shovel the coal to keep the steam up in the engine.

All who donate will also receive one of them fancy type straw hats with Crowder's name on the front.

For directions or to make your donations, write

Crowder for Pres.
BR549, Tenn.

Paid for by friends of Crowder for Pres.
Soons he reads this he'll appove this message!!

 

[Cabo]

Paint, are we going to have some of them hooters gals for the train crew? Don't know if we can find one that can remember the proper whistle sequence so we'll have to put one out on the front of the engine to get the traffic to stop.

 

[warpaint]

Cabo,
Be careful not to let the cat outta the bag!! :roll:

As an added bonus, along with a bar car, we'll have us a donut an pastry car. That oughta keep Crowder an his girls content.

 

[Cabo]

I like them "biguns" but unlike Crowder, I don't want them to be that way all over. Do we have enough donations yet for the food bill? Fraid my two dollars won't go far with that group.

 

[warpaint]

Them donations have been pourin in all mornin!
If this keeps up, we'll most likely have to add another cattle car or two!

 

[bigbull338]

I like them "biguns" but unlike Crowder, I don't want them to be that way all over. Do we have enough donations yet for the food bill? Fraid my two dollars won't go far with that group.

well ill jump on that train ride.but im not freezing my tail off.ill have my coveralls on.so i to can shovel coal in the engine.

 

[chrisy]

be careful watch out for those buffers at the end, of the track. those Hooters gals bouncing on the front might send ya back from wence ya came. :lol: :lol:

 

[Gale Seddon]

Sure hope VA is one of the 7 states...and when you come through Mineral, I'll make sure Robert's out there with the VA battle flag waving. He'll be on top of (I hope) the big brown donkey. Make sure the train slows down so that it doesn't frighten Dicey. Heck, with her ears, we won't need the crossing guard things on the RR tracks.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Well Ladies and Gentlemen,

As we begin to hit the campaign "Rail", I figger I better give you an idea of what may be headin' thru your town.

First off, Bigbull, there wont be no Coal to be shoveling, we're goin Diesel power. Them pretty Locomotives will be painted up right special for this glorious occaison. :shock: Rebel flags have been painted on all 3 engines, and will be operated by "Engineerettes" wearin' overalls and skimpy tank tops.

I just got back home from Hooter's in Nashville, just moments ago, (I'm serious) and have gotten pledges from a large number of the "Girls" to offer hostess services on the train. Ya'll wait til' you meet Nikki. One of the prettiest wimmens in the whole state.I then stopped at a local Starbucks, and in the drive-thru I meets one of the preetiest Yankee wimmens ever seen.Pamela!! She's a comin' too.Good gosh almighty!

The train consist is as follers:

Bar Car
Card Car
Follered by another Bar Car
Sleepin' Car
Observation Car (fully staffed via Hoooter's Gals)
Budweiser Tank Car
Bar Car
Cabo's Caboose

We plan to leave and pick up a feller in Mineral, Va. for full display of "Our" Flag.

We'll be makin whistle stops all over the Country, drumming up your support. :shock:

 

[MillIronQH]

I'll be in the observation car doing some campaigning of my own if anyone comes looking for me.Z

 

[Oldtimer]

First off, Bigbull, there wont be no Coal to be shoveling, we're goin Diesel power.

Yep-- Campaigns only days old and he's already sold out to the Big Oil interests and lost the backing of all the coal states and miners :roll: ;-) :lol: :lol:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Could not afford to get a fine from the EPA for not burning low sulfur coal, when we hit the NE portion of the Country.

 

[warpaint]

Out travel itinerary has not yet been released,(due to several threats made against our candidate, mostly from irate husbands), but for those of you loyal to the cause,(and you know who you are), you will receive it in time to join our little chug-a-lug!!

I shoulda known that Crowder would upgrade our accomadations. I guess that means we'll be travelin in a more high class type atmosphere. Due to recent changes, I'm afraid the amount of the donations will have to triple!! ;-)

 

[john250]

Starbucks, and in the drive-thru I meets one of the preetiest Yankee wimmens ever seen.Pamela!! She's a comin' too.Good gosh almighty!

Yankee women??? When will this "diversity" stuff go away? I'd consult my base on this one, Crowder. I'm hopin' to see Nashville Hooter's girls and maybe a UT cheerleader or two when the train comes to my town.

 

[Oldtimer]

Starbucks, and in the drive-thru I meets one of the preetiest Yankee wimmens ever seen.Pamela!! She's a comin' too.Good gosh almighty!

Yankee women??? When will this "diversity" stuff go away? I'd consult my base on this one, Crowder. I'm hopin' to see Nashville Hooter's girls and maybe a UT cheerleader or two when the train comes to my town.

Yep- First it was a sell out to Big Oil over the coal interests, now he's got this "Yankee woman"-- he'll be lettin the rest of the carpet baggers in soon...Crowder is fitting into form- make another Billy Clinton-- help raise the prices of cigars and tobacco... :lol: :lol:

 

[warpaint]

I can see that me an Crowder are gonna have to do some talkin about this here Yankee, what sells overpriced coffee.

Why would anybody in their right mind pay 5.00 fer a cup o joe when you can brew it yourself? (Nevermind, it is Crowder we're talkin about)

 

[MrGale]

Dicey n I have lined up the sons of the confederacy and a few other groups to help with unruly yankees along the trip....my saber is a might rusty but i'll bet it hurts on top of yer head when properly applied....a few .45-70's won't hurt either, fer them yankee wimmons sommeone was talkin about infiltratin in our ranks....only kinda wimmons is southern gals and them that wants to be....right chrissy? :cboy:

 

[chrisy]

yeeeehaaaaa, way to go MrGale, we sure are the only kind :cboy:

 

[MillIronQH]

I don't know... I went with an ole gal from Bosten for a while. She wasn't so bad once I got the duct tape accross her pie hole.Z

 

[MrGale]

Got what there is of my redneck dressage team to throw in....Mr Crowder now has a cavalry contingent to escort him through questionable northern territories..each has a brandy new cavalry saber (ceptin me) and a brand new roll of duct tape... :cboy: