vclavin
Well-known member
Found in Military Job Evaluation Reports
>
> >Found in Actual Military Job Evaluation Reports... (Part I)
> >1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
> >2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
> >3. A room-temperature IQ.
> >4. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
> >5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
> >6. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
> >7. Bright as Alaska in December.
> >8. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
> >9. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
> >10. Fell out of the family tree.
> >11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
> >12. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
> >13. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
> >14. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
> >15. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
> >16. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
> >17. Takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
> >18. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
> >19. This Marine is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
>
> >And finally....
> >20. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
> curiosity.
>
> >Found in Actual Military Job Evaluation Reports... (Part I)
> >1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
> >2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
> >3. A room-temperature IQ.
> >4. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
> >5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
> >6. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
> >7. Bright as Alaska in December.
> >8. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
> >9. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
> >10. Fell out of the family tree.
> >11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
> >12. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
> >13. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
> >14. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
> >15. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
> >16. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
> >17. Takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
> >18. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
> >19. This Marine is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
>
> >And finally....
> >20. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
> curiosity.
