Blue has the blues

[inyati13]

Everyone knows about my talking dog now. Today, I called my mom at the nursing home. She was upset because I have not been in to see her lately. She ask, "Are you coming to see me today?" I said no mom, I had planned to but I can't. She asks, "Why?" I said its Blue mom, he said his stomach is all upset. Mom likes Blue, so with concern in her voice she asks what's wrong. I said mom he said the cows got him all upset. I was out front when the cows came up this morning. I went around with my curry comb, combing out burrs and manure. Petting them and talking sweetly to each of them. Blue comes over as I am giving Star baby a few extra scratches on the butt. He looks up at me in disguise and says I have let these cows wrap me around their hoof. I said now get away Blue, you know Star don't like you getting right here at her feet. He put his head down and walked back to the shop.

When I got back to the shop he was standing up on the tailgate of the pick-up. He growled low in his throat to get my attention. I stop comb in hand. In dramatic fashion, he raises one paw high in the air and howls out in a clear voice, "Thou shall not put any other four-legged animal before thou Dog."

I had to be impressed. I hugged him and tried to console him. He said, "Ron, I have stood by you. Laid out there while you worked. Stayed here at the shop while you rode around in that big green tractor. Been here for you when ever you needed me. And now all you want to do is run around with your head up a cow's azz. You got my dam stomach tore all to he$$."

Mom said, "You better get him back home and take care of your dog." I said Ok mom. And that is how I got out of another visit with mom!

 

[3waycross]

Ron i am begging you please seek the help of a mental health professional!

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

A fellow CT member asked me today if you had slipped a gear. I told him it would be apparent when your foot finally came off the clutch.

Today is that day.

 

[john250]

I like a smart dog. He seems to have jealousy issues. Possibly species issues.

 

[heath]

Maybe blue is sexist.

 

[Anonymous]

That's racist, naming a dog a color just because that's his breed

 

[sim.-ang.king]

Probably not the best thread to read after watching "Psycho".

 

[inyati13]

Probably not the best thread to read after watching "Psycho".

:lol: :cboy: :clap:

 

[wbvs58]

Your all right Ron. I understand what you are saying. Very clever the way you put things.
Ken

 

[HDRider]

I read the comments about inyati. Do ya'll really think a psychiatrist, or would that be a psychiatric vet, anyway,, could they really help that dog? I never put much stock in 'em.

I think it would be best for all concerned if they just talked things out, like they appear to do.

 

[CKC1586]

That's racist, naming a dog a color just because that's his breed

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are!!! :lol2: :nod: :lol2: :nod: :lol2:

 

[inyati13]

There is an inside joke at play. My brother and I often call each other and one of us imitates how my Dad communicated in his younger years. Dad was of Catholic German decent. There were 9 siblings. Dad was rough as a cob in his style of communication. If his stomach hurt, he would say it like this. "Dam it, Ron, By Gad, I didn't sleep a dam wink last night. My dam stomach hurt me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I wouldn't have give you a dam nickel for my chances last night. My dam stomach is tore all to he$$. And then Dorothy was bellyachin every time I belched. By Gad, I thought I was going to have to go out in the garage and knock myself in the dam head with a ballpeen hammer."

So Blue was playing dad in that concontion above.

 

[greybeard]

I know you're around my age, but in my AugGust but never too humble or timid opinion, you sir--in the worst way-----need to get laid .

 

[inyati13]

Talking about my Dad: I am 63 and things were a lot different in my youth. What is the worst whippin you ever got?

When I was about 10, we were going from the hay barn back to the hay field for a load of hay - we put it up loose, it was raked, shocked with a pitch fork and loaded with a pitchfork onto a hay wagon pulled by Belgian draft horses. There are two check lines that come back to guide the horses. They are made of leather and about 1 1/4 inch wide. My brother and I were walking along side and I picked up a rock and threw it at my brother. It hit him on top the hand. He howled and cried like he was killed. Dad stopped the horses. He didn't get down from the wagon. He ordered me to come over to the wagon. As I was approching, I saw him drawing up the slack in the check lines. He pulled them both up together. By the time I got there, I knew what was coming. I briefly thought about making a run for it and finding someone who might take me in. He was wise enough to know what went through my mind. He simply said, "I better not have to get off this wagon." By Gad, I stood like a statue. It was not near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't cry. After he hit me about 2 or 3 times. He looked me straight in the eyes. I can see his face right now. I can see the muscles standing out in his arms. He was small but he packed more muscle on his arms than a weight lifter and the veins stood out like ropes. I turned and walked away like nothing ever happened.

 

[skeeter swatter]

Mom said, "You better get him back home and take care of your dog." I said Ok mom. And that is how I got out of another visit with mom![/quote]


Meanwhile Mom is telling her friends how she got out of another visit with YOU! :drink:

 

[regolith]

I know you're around my age, but in my AugGust but never too humble or timid opinion, you sir--in the worst way-----need to get laid .

No. he needs to get over here and work through his excessive creative energy:
http://nanowrimo.org


I'll even add you to my buddy list if you need a friend. Apart from Blue, that is, who is too down to be much of a friend right now.

 

[denvermartinfarms]

Tell blue to start having a 1300$ calf every 10 months. He can then have all the attention he wants.

 

[greybeard]

Well, now that would be something. A male dog that both talks AND spits out offspring-------------of another species.

Ought to make for some really interesting EPDs........

 

[sim.-ang.king]

Well, now that would be something. A male dog that both talks AND spits out offspring-------------of another species.

Ought to make for some really interesting EPDs........

Better get the split screen ready for those EPD's.

 

[denvermartinfarms]

Well, now that would be something. A male dog that both talks AND spits out offspring-------------of another species.

Ought to make for some really interesting EPDs........

And it wouldn't be any stranger than the rest of this conversation :lol: .