Dave
Well-known member
Darwin Awards
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And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwins are
awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner,
thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally
shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as
a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other
man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barg er, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of
a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to
his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane
with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman
said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the TorontoDominion Bank
Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the
buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the
200-man association. [I bet that was an "Oh Sh*t" moment ]
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News
of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolinas electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence
reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was
electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have
triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday
night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader
that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into
the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [ Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird
feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on
a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the
Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were
injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton
Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder
reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of
Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des
Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup
truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight
fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and
the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the
bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struckPoole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a
tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but
will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which
will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was
treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston
shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis " I've been a
trooper for 10 years in this part o f the world, but this is a first for me.
I cant believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said
Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole's wife) asked how
many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as
normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that
Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)
****************************************************************
And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwins are
awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner,
thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally
shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as
a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other
man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barg er, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of
a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to
his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane
with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman
said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the TorontoDominion Bank
Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the
buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the
200-man association. [I bet that was an "Oh Sh*t" moment ]
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News
of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolinas electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence
reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was
electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have
triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday
night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader
that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into
the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [ Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird
feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on
a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the
Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were
injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton
Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder
reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of
Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des
Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup
truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight
fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and
the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the
bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struckPoole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a
tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but
will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which
will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was
treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston
shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis " I've been a
trooper for 10 years in this part o f the world, but this is a first for me.
I cant believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said
Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole's wife) asked how
many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as
normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that
Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)
I just love the Darwin Awards......
