New Diet

Help Support CattleToday:


Well-known member
Jan 6, 2009
Reaction score
Lavaca county, Texas
This is an old one but I got reaquainted with it this morning. Enjoy.

> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
> enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Iris Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both.
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
> Forward this to all your retired friends will be their Laugh for the Day!
I tried this also but didn't get hit by a car.Lost 10 pounds in a day ,walk through a dog park and they caught wind of my pockets.Ran 10 miles before my pants fell off.Wasn't to bad but happened to be going commando that day.I think they thought that was a snoggies.

Latest posts