lavacarancher
Well-known member
This is an old one but I got reaquainted with it this morning. Enjoy.
Enjoy!
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>
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> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
> enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Iris Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
>
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
> Forward this to all your retired friends .....it will be their Laugh for the Day!
Enjoy!
>
>
>
> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
> enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Iris Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
>
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
> Forward this to all your retired friends .....it will be their Laugh for the Day!