found something in my pasture

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Well, since the topic has (insert your own verb here, every one I've used sounds like a nasty pun) a friend of mine said she went to sleep watching the home shopping network once, woke up about 3 in the morning, and guess what they sell that time of day? Yep, that's what she said!
 
Lammie":1c8xf0zn said:
Heck, I went to one of them "lady toy parties" once. Seen things that would make anyone blush, and in sizes that seemed entirely unrealistic. Seen a bunch of women order a LOT of stuff, as well. Sent in a discreet brown package so's the neighbor's can't tell how filthy you are. :eek:

A lady has to do what a lady has do! :nod:
 
farmwriter":2a2o0sew said:
Well, since the topic has (insert your own verb here, every one I've used sounds like a nasty pun) a friend of mine said she went to sleep watching the home shopping network once, woke up about 3 in the morning, and guess what they sell that time of day? Yep, that's what she said!

I'm guessing your friend had not activated the "parental locks" on her TV and had rolled over on the remote enough times that she ordered some adult programming. :lol:
Home Shopping Net is scary during the day, if that's what they are selling at night :secret:
I think home shopping net and QVC and the others are responsible for the credit crisis. Not one congressional committee has investigated this. A sure sign that I'm right and the powers that be are covering this scandal. :eek:

Back on topic--In a pasture on a major road I found a money bag containing a payment book on an over the road tractor. I made contact with the man named in the book, and he had been robbed at his home, he said. That may be true, but I also know he lost the truck so he may have been cleaning out the cab as he went down the road.
 
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom
door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter
with something like DB found in the pasture.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
Old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz
coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to the thing like DB found in the pasture.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The thing like DB found in the pasture was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the h... are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'
 
VanC":2idcrjsu said:
This is the most disgusting thread I've seen on here in a long time. Please don't stop.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
cfpinz":3rddmxp6 said:
Lammie":3rddmxp6 said:
Heck, I went to one of them "lady toy parties" once. Seen things that would make anyone blush, and in sizes that seemed entirely unrealistic. Seen a bunch of women order a LOT of stuff, as well. Sent in a discreet brown package so's the neighbor's can't tell how filthy you are. :eek:

Wife's bachelorette party was one of those shindigs. I kept asking her if they had a 220 volt model...
I think you are referring to the model BR-549 " Mule Tool" of Baloney Pony.
 
dieselbeef":l9cfk8q5 said:
whats the oddest thing yall have found and no i aint gonna post no pics of it ya sicko!

I once found a weather balloon in the pasture and the cows wouldn't go near it. It was kinda neat, had a box attached to it with instructions on how to remove it and put it in the mail. It also had info on where and when it was released.
 
Hey Diesel did your little find come with any instructions as to where it was released. If only toys could talk i bet there would be some tales to tell.
 
3waycross":2u6mh1w6 said:
Hey Diesel did your little find come with any instructions as to where it was released. If only toys could talk i bet there would be some tales to tell.

id wish it could..id send it to lammie and have her send it back! :banana: :banana: :banana:
 
upfrombottom":hyk22t6d said:
I once found a weather balloon in the pasture and the cows wouldn't go near it. It was kinda neat, had a box attached to it with instructions on how to remove it and put it in the mail. It also had info on where and when it was released.

That'd be fun to find...did you mail it back? Was the postage guaranteed? I know, dumb questions...but I'm curious.

Alice :)
 
Crowderfarms":xnx7f122 said:
cfpinz":xnx7f122 said:
Lammie":xnx7f122 said:
Heck, I went to one of them "lady toy parties" once. Seen things that would make anyone blush, and in sizes that seemed entirely unrealistic. Seen a bunch of women order a LOT of stuff, as well. Sent in a discreet brown package so's the neighbor's can't tell how filthy you are. :eek:

Wife's bachelorette party was one of those shindigs. I kept asking her if they had a 220 volt model...
I think you are referring to the model BR-549 " Mule Tool" of Baloney Pony.

Those probably come with 2 cycle 5 hp engine and a huge muffler.
 
Alice":qhkgohcn said:
upfrombottom":qhkgohcn said:
I once found a weather balloon in the pasture and the cows wouldn't go near it. It was kinda neat, had a box attached to it with instructions on how to remove it and put it in the mail. It also had info on where and when it was released.

That'd be fun to find...did you mail it back? Was the postage guaranteed? I know, dumb questions...but I'm curious.

Alice :)

I found one of those myself, but the box was so beat up I didn't find any instructions.
I found a party balloon from the grand opening of a hospital in St Louis, MO. That's a fur piece from here. I sent them the card attached to the balloon.
I've found lots of birthday balloons.
 
At the old farm I found some emus once. Cows were so stirred up they were running through 5 strand BW fences. Drug them off and never saw another one
 
Alice":198zj183 said:
upfrombottom":198zj183 said:
I once found a weather balloon in the pasture and the cows wouldn't go near it. It was kinda neat, had a box attached to it with instructions on how to remove it and put it in the mail. It also had info on where and when it was released.

That'd be fun to find...did you mail it back? Was the postage guaranteed? I know, dumb questions...but I'm curious.

Alice :)

The box had a mailing label that said postage will be paid by addressee, National Weather Service. It was released some where in Oklahoma and I'm in East Arkansas, so it flew quite a distance. It also stated in the instruction that the contents of the box maybe radio active and to not try and open it, I assumed it was the battery pack. Nevertheless I didn't open it. EDIT: And yes I put it in the mail.
 
john250":156tnh91 said:
I've found lots of birthday balloons.
Me too. At least a dozen a year. I'll see some strange colored or shiny thing down in the woods and go to see what it is and it's a balloon.
 
dieselbeef":2d3fyrcr said:
3waycross":2d3fyrcr said:
Hey Diesel did your little find come with any instructions as to where it was released. If only toys could talk i bet there would be some tales to tell.

id wish it could..id send it to lammie and have her send it back! :banana: :banana: :banana:

In a discreet brown wrapper so's no one could know how filthy you was??? :lol:
upfrombottom":2d3fyrcr said:
Alice":2d3fyrcr said:
upfrombottom":2d3fyrcr said:
I once found a weather balloon in the pasture and the cows wouldn't go near it. It was kinda neat, had a box attached to it with instructions on how to remove it and put it in the mail. It also had info on where and when it was released.

That'd be fun to find...did you mail it back? Was the postage guaranteed? I know, dumb questions...but I'm curious.

Alice :)

The box had a mailing label that said postage will be paid by addressee, National Weather Service. It was released some where in Oklahoma and I'm in East Arkansas, so it flew quite a distance. It also stated in the instruction that the contents of the box maybe radio active and to not try and open it, I assumed it was the battery pack. Nevertheless I didn't open it.


We had a helicopter crash land in a dad's coastal field once. We got our pictures taken with it. The pilot was fine. I was about three and I remember it.
 
dun":1guf4o1g said:
At the old farm I found some emus once. Cows were so stirred up they were running through 5 strand BW fences. Drug them off and never saw another one

dun..I was penning cattle one day and a couple of emus were sitting down in the ditch and nobody knew they were there...as we got closer they stood up and we just about had a stampede. I hate the things and folks have turned them loose all over the countryside.
 

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