Women changing...or not changing... their last name

[farmerjan]

Yes, congratulations and I think you have already demonstrated your commitment to him by doing the move and all, already. He really needs to look at that a little bit.

 

[ez14.]

Besides, your logic is faulty: you want to attribute successful families to the practice of having the same name; but if those marriages fail, you want to blame other issues. Can't have it both ways...

Your seriously saying that having the same last name makes marriage fail :roll:

I don't read it that way; that she is saying the same last name is the cause of marriage failure. But she can explain it for you.

is there any other way to read it? Maybe that's not what she meant but it sure is what she said!

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

Wonder what they decided?

 

[farmerjan]

Yeah, I'm one of those ones that wants the "Paul Harvey, rest of the story"...... Maybe Dave has kept in touch with her?

 

[hurleyjd]

Good chance they either married and worked it out or moved on. On the subject of name changing I hate it when a person decides to legally change his name to a respectful family in the area. Also the changing of the woman's last name to the mans means the mans name will be passed on through the ages with sons and such but the woman's name and history can be lost for ever. Just remember good genetics comes from both sides.

 

[TexasBred]

Good chance they either married and worked it out or moved on. On the subject of name changing I hate it when a person decides to legally change his name to a respectful family in the area. Also the changing of the woman's last name to the mans means the mans name will be passed on through the ages with sons and such but the woman's name and history can be lost for ever. Just remember good genetics comes from both sides.

Hurley now that so many never bother with the official wedding anymore but prefer to just shack up and multiply, names mean nothing. Many have a hard enough time just remembering first names they've had so many partners and were together such a short time. But I guess it's convenient which is priceless.

 

[Brute 23]

My mother's last name, in our branch of the family, is in jeopardy of going away with my generation. Out of 4 boys and one girl (my mother) I only have one male cousin so he needs to have a boy. You have to go up to my great grandfather and back around thru another branch to keep it going. Even those branches are banking on only one or two boys in total.

 

[hurleyjd]

My wife's father died when she was twelve. A couple wanted to adopt her and change her name. She told the court that she did not want to be adopted and have her name changed because when she was older then she would marry and her name would change. They decided to be foster parents instead. Any way five years later at the age of 17 she changed her name to Hurley and is just as ornery as the rest of us. Also add this little note the wedding was 58 years ago last June the third. She will fight you in minute if you say something about her name now.

 

[Brute 23]

The part that would be odd to me is if she keeps her maiden name, when they have kids, what will the kids name be? Usually they will put the dads name. Would a mom purposely keep her name knowing her kids would get their dad's name?

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

If I'm paying the bills they're wearing my brand.

 

[sstterry]

If I'm paying the bills they're wearing my brand.

Freeze Brand or Hot Brand??

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

If I'm paying the bills they're wearing my brand.

Freeze Brand or Hot Brand??

Name Brand.

 

[Bigfoot]

The part that would be odd to me is if she keeps her maiden name, when they have kids, what will the kids name be? Usually they will put the dads name. Would a mom purposely keep her name knowing her kids would get their dad's name?

Most here would do a hyphenated name for the kids. Then, to me that just gets more confusing down the road. A hyphenated person marries a hyphenated that also doesn't want to change, and now the poor kid has 4 last names.

 

[Brute 23]

The part that would be odd to me is if she keeps her maiden name, when they have kids, what will the kids name be? Usually they will put the dads name. Would a mom purposely keep her name knowing her kids would get their dad's name?

Most here would do a hyphenated name for the kids. Then, to me that just gets more confusing down the road. A hyphenated person marries a hyphenated that also doesn't want to change, and now the poor kid has 4 last names.

Ya it just seems messy for the kids just to make a point.

My grandmother kept he married name to my blood grandfather, her first husband, and just added the name of my second grandfather on when she remarried. If she would have kept her maiden name too she could have racked up 5 names.

 

[Duramaxgirl]

I'm just a SAHM but I was grateful to change my name to my husband's. I wear being his wife with pride! He's a super cool guy and has joined me with my cow obsession. To each there own but when I see someone unwilling to change their name to his I view that as "keeping their options open" or being embarrassed by being his girl. Obviously this is just my opinion and I'm old school I guess.

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

I'm just a SAHM but I was grateful to change my name to my husband's. I wear being his wife with pride! He's a super cool guy and has joined me with my cow obsession. To each there own but when I see someone unwilling to change their name to his I view that as "keeping their options open" or being embarrassed by being his girl. Obviously this is just my opinion and I'm old school I guess.

I'm a Ford man but I'm digging this Duramaxgirl!

 

[GMN]

U could always keep your maiden name and add your husbands name-if someday u want kids it would be nicer to have everyone have the same last name
I don't think your future husband should be upset about whatever u decide though either-

 

[GMN]

Hmmm.... well that got some opinions. lol.

I do appreciate y'all's input. Seriously. Bit more background... I do honestly want opinions on the topic; believe me, I don't come out of months/years of minimal posting to ask a personal question on a forum if I just want validation. LOL. Yup, it'd be nice if everyone thought that the name change question was a minor issue and took my perspective, but if I wanted that I'd go to my veterinary Facebook groups where that is the consensus. The Future Mr MM and I discussed the topic, not a 10/10 argument but he has 9/10 or 10/10 feelings about us not having the same last name. We concluded that maybe neither of us was entirely educated on the topic from the other person's perspective, so he said he'd ask around and I said I'd ask around. I figured the CT forum was the most likely source to have similar views to my new rural community.

I was originally thinking I'd show the future Mr MM the responses; after reading through some of them I'm not so sure now. lol. I do appreciate y'all not beating around the bush, regardless of whether I agree with you or not.

Also... commitment level...judge for yourselves. I packed up and moved last week. Moved 640 miles, gave up a job I loved, good friends in the area, in a nice location, with my nice roomy house/yard/fenced backyard for the dogs... for a tiny 110 year old house in town with a poor foundation (e.g. stuff doesn't consistently stay on flat surfaces), no yard, no fences, got a part time job at a vet clinic for a significant pay cut (but so far is going good), in a state I never would have moved to if it wasn't for the future Mr MM living here. Good guys are hard to find; I kinda believe a girl should make every effort to keep one when she finds him.

That's just it u shouldn't have to give up everything for him-why couldn't he have moved to your location? Don't forget who you are-eventually it comes full circle-