I bought a few acres

[True Grit Farms]

I've bought property from my brothers at fair market value and have no regrets and can sleep just fine. As long as you didn't low ball your parents and or under cut your brother, what's the problem? I think it's a great deal for you and your family.

 

[M-5]

sounds to me like the alternative was sell to you or someone else sooner rather than later. You seem to let the fact that they have not done any estate planning as a priority cause you this guilt, WHY ??? they used a different method than mainstream they raised successful boys that they knew would be there. Just because they did not do it in a conventional manner it should not frowned upon . There was a time when this was the exact escape route and the older generation planned on selling to a family member as there retirement plan .

 

[Bigfoot]

sounds to me like the alternative was sell to you or someone else sooner rather than later. You seem to let the fact that they have not done any estate planning as a priority cause you this guilt, WHY ??? they used a different method than mainstream they raised successful boys that they knew would be there. Just because they did not do it in a conventional manner it should not frowned upon . There was a time when this was the exact escape route and the older generation planned on selling to a family member as there retirement plan .

True. Something I needed to hear.

 

[Bigfoot]

I've bought property from my brothers at fair market value and have no regrets and can sleep just fine. As long as you didn't low ball your parents and or under cut your brother, what's the problem? I think it's a great deal for you and your family.

I'm in at probably 115-120% of market value, plus they have the lifetime estate. Brother has said nothing.

 

[Hunter]

Sounds like you paid fair, if not higher, market value and your brother is fine with it than I don't see any issues.
Boondocks brought up an interesting situation. A long term care facility may be able to get to certain assets.

 

[Bright Raven]

I'm in at probably 115-120% of market value, plus they have the lifetime estate. Brother has said nothing.

Sounds like he has no justification to say much.

Mom and dad put the farm in a gradual trust to go to the children. I don't know much about how it was done. I trust all my siblings. My sister got an attorney that understood how to do it so we avoided most taxes.

When they both passed away, we each sold our portion to the youngest brother and the middle brother. We sold it at about 75 % of market value. I have never heard a whisper that anyone was unhappy.

 

[Bright Raven]

Sounds like you paid fair, if not higher, market value and your brother is fine with it than I don't see any issues.
Boondocks brought up an interesting situation. A long term care facility may be able to get to certain assets.

There is a way around that. The attorney who set ours up protected the farm from being sold to obtain the assets.

 

[Stocker Steve]

Sounds like you paid fair, if not higher, market value and your brother is fine with it than I don't see any issues.
Boondocks brought up an interesting situation. A long term care facility may be able to get to certain assets.

There is a way around that. The attorney who set ours up protected the farm from being sold to obtain the assets.

By setting up ?

 

[Hunter]

This is second or even third hand info so take it as a grain of salt.
I have heard the facility can go back a long ways (5-10 years) to see what was sold as they view it as hiding assets to cut the costs.

 

[Stocker Steve]

This is second or even third hand info so take it as a grain of salt.
I have heard the facility can go back a long ways (5-10 years) to see what was sold as they view it as hiding assets to cut the costs.

The law on this continues to change, to allow them to go back farther to access assets.

 

[Bright Raven]

Sounds like you paid fair, if not higher, market value and your brother is fine with it than I don't see any issues.
Boondocks brought up an interesting situation. A long term care facility may be able to get to certain assets.

There is a way around that. The attorney who set ours up protected the farm from being sold to obtain the assets.

By setting up ?

Sorry, my sister did all of the administration of the assets. I never even ask. This is all I know.

This was 25 years ago. Laws may have changed. The farm was 'gifted' to the children in portions. There was at the time an amount that could be gifted on an annual basis without certain consequences. The trust also made the assets not under the control of my parents so a nursing home could not take their assets.

Mom and dad both went into a nursing home about a week apart. Mom was 90 dad was 91. They signed their SS over. Dad died at 92, mom was 93.

 

[J&D Cattle]

The financial whiz-kids may well say differently but my only caveat would be for your folks to still go ahead and talk to an estate-planning expert (good luck, right?). I guess if they both have a life estate maybe they don't care about losing their homestead exemption (?), but I'd still want to make sure sufficient assets were preserved for Parent A if, say, Parent B needed lengthy medical care, nursing home etc (since they have likely lost (correct me if I'm wrong, CT-finance-folks) the ability to shield a certain amount of assets via their home ownership. Just a thought. Otherwise, I think you have done everything you could do under the circumstances. Congratulations!

They will not lift one finger, nor entertain the thought of any type of financial planning.

My parents had entertained the idea of financial planning and we had even talked about it but they never would take action. I asked my father if he was happy with the attorney Grandpa had used. When he said yes I picked up the phone and called him and made them an appointment. Told Mom to gather her stuff up and to please be there. Grandpa's estate went so smooth they both felt a level of comfort but they still needed a push. Once they got to talking about it my Aunt and Uncle who have no kids even went and got their stuff in order.

Bigfoot, have you and your wife started your planning? My family has and did shortly after we had first born.

 

[Bigfoot]

The financial whiz-kids may well say differently but my only caveat would be for your folks to still go ahead and talk to an estate-planning expert (good luck, right?). I guess if they both have a life estate maybe they don't care about losing their homestead exemption (?), but I'd still want to make sure sufficient assets were preserved for Parent A if, say, Parent B needed lengthy medical care, nursing home etc (since they have likely lost (correct me if I'm wrong, CT-finance-folks) the ability to shield a certain amount of assets via their home ownership. Just a thought. Otherwise, I think you have done everything you could do under the circumstances. Congratulations!

They will not lift one finger, nor entertain the thought of any type of financial planning.

My parents had entertained the idea of financial planning and we had even talked about it but they never would take action. I asked my father if he was happy with the attorney Grandpa had used. When he said yes I picked up the phone and called him and made them an appointment. Told Mom to gather her stuff up and to please be there. Grandpa's estate went so smooth they both felt a level of comfort but they still needed a push. Once they got to talking about it my Aunt and Uncle who have no kids even went and got their stuff in order.

Bigfoot, have you and your wife started your planning? My family has and did shortly after we had first born.

Have a will of course. Have made no attempt to transfer assets, because of their age.

 

[boondocks]

Bigfoot, it sounds like you have complex feelings about this. That's okay, and to be expected. Some of what you're feeling will even contradict other things that you may also be feeling or thinking. That's ok too. It's understandable to admire and care about your folks and (if I'm reading between the lines correctly) also be a bit frustrated at their stubbornness
I had one set of grandparents that were breathtakingly pragmatic (even seemingly "cold") about financial and end-of-life planning, and the other set whose plan was apparently to just live forever. Saw both extremes, hope to find a middle route for myself lol.

 

[Bestoutwest]

Here will come the fall out. I started this thread, in hopes of a little therapy. If that comes in the form of tough love, then I will have to take it.

I used awkward in my original post. It does feel awkward, so I can't say that was a lie. I do have a bitter feeling as well. I'm not even sure if that captures how I feel. Their nice people, that lived on optimism. They reached a point, where the light at the end of the optimism tunnel, just became so small, that another plan had to be hatched.

In the end, I would have to admit, that I am happier owning the place, than I would be by not owning it. I do have a tremendous amount of guilt, because of my bitter feelings. There are probably better avenues, to seek council. I just thought, maybe someone here had some insight, that a nonfarm person would not.

What is there to feel guilty about? Your brother could have done the same thing to you. Your parents could have put something away and sought out the services of a person that was more knowledgeable than they are and they would, hopefully, be in a better place financially. Could it be that part of your feelings are motivated by the fact that your parents are aging and roles have reversed?

I worry about my folks a lot, too. My dad is as cheap as they come b/c my mother spends it all. We have determined that there is some MH issues associated with her shopping that borders on addiction, but it doesn't excuse the fact that their rainy day fund may have gone from a lake to a pond rather quickly.

BF, from what I've read on here, you're a good man. You try to do the best by your family. You try to live your Christian faith. This falls into that category.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Big Foot you made the right move.

One of my sisters wanted to partner up with me in buying my parents place. She and my wife (now Ex) did not get along and it seemed like a train wreck to me. So I opted out. Told her to buy it on her own. She didn't want to but didn't want me to buy it on my own. I didn't fight about it. I've regretted it for years now. That's one thing you will not experience. God Bless you. You did the right thing.

 

[mwj]

Bigfoot as long as you or your spouse did not feel that you were pressured into buying it you should rest well. If we make an informed decision on our own we should never look back. It will make you old before your time if you second guess what is already done. The best of luck to you and I hope all this goes better than you wanted it to!!

 

[Bigfoot]

I recently had to do something similar with my mil on a smaller scale, with the idea of making sure she was protected in her growing age because she sure wasn't doing it herself. Now it looks like I may do the same with my wife's dad up in ny to make sure they are taken care of. It's what we do for family. One thing though, have you discussed with your brother what if anything will be done with any of your parents remaining assets when they pass? That can still get sticky with your brother if you get half Of what you "paid in" essentially getting the property at roughly 55% of value using your figures. Assuming that there are any assets left of course.
Just a thought

Number 1. It's awesome your posting again.
Number 2. I didn't follow anything you said there. Sorry.

 

[Bigfoot]

Let me try this again, I'm not very good with typing out what's in my head:
If your parents pass with any $ or assets left, if you get half of what you paid them it may upset your brother. You would essentially be buying the property at half what you paid them because yo7 get it back when they pass.
I had to make certain stipulations with my mother in law (mil) to avoid this issue with my wife's brother

That thought never even crossed my mind, but your right.

 

[Farm Fence Solutions]

Let me try this again, I'm not very good with typing out what's in my head:
If your parents pass with any $ or assets left, if you get half of what you paid them it may upset your brother. You would essentially be buying the property at half what you paid them because yo7 get it back when they pass.
I had to make certain stipulations with my mother in law (mil) to avoid this issue with my wife's brother

That thought never even crossed my mind, but your right.

If they are anything like my folks, they'll "blow" it on rope horses and NRS gift cards for your kids.......even if you say no way.