Daily Chuckle

[Grayme]

A couple of priests in Ireland were having financial problems at their church. One day they decided to open a florist shop to raise money. It was a resounding success. Everyone liked to do business with them. However, local florist saw a significant drop in business. He wrote the friars and asked them to shut down or he would be ruined. They wrote back that they were doing the Lord's work and would continue to do so. Next he visited them and explained that they had an unfair advantage. Still they refused the close up shop. So the man hired Hugh MacTaggart, a mean and nasty local ruffian to pay them a "visit". Hugh went over and beat the priests up and wrecked their shop. The friars then closed up their shop proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

OMG!!

 

[greybeard]

A bunny, kitten or puppy whichever you find most adorable

or most tasty

 

[gman4691]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

[CowboyRam]

 

[SBMF 2015]

 

[Son of Butch]

How do astronauts put a baby to sleep?
They rock it

(yes, I searched for worst joke I could find)

 

[Lannie]

I invented a thought controlled air freshener.
'ridiculous' you say?

It makes scents when you think about it...

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.
Broko Lee..

What is hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside?

a coconut.

Argh!

You know, these bad puns are so bad (...how bad ARE they??), even I can remember them later, and I've been passing a few of them on to my poor husband, who, when I told him where I heard them, said maybe I spend too much time on this joke thread. Naaaaahhhhhh, even bad puns are funny! (He won't admit it, but he laughed, too!)

 

[coachg]

 

[coachg]

 

[coachg]

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[greybeard]

Two antennas met on a rooftop, fell in love and married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great!

 

[Ouachita]

It has become obvious that groaners are contagious, and ya'll are eggin' him on. It's like watching a horse take a dump; can't help but watch.

 

[coachg]

My grandfather did this to me one time as I was getting stuff off the electric fence . Just happened to be wading the pond when he threw the switch.

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]

 

[greybeard]

Why was the snowman going thru & looking at every carrot in the bag?

He was picking his nose.

 

[greybeard]

Cat puns freak meowt............................
.......................and I'm not kitten.
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The teacher of the 5th grade class was giving a verbal quiz to the students, with each question getting a bit more difficult. Before she asked the final question she said, "The first one who answers this next question correctly may go home early."
Little Johnny, sitting in the back of the room, quickly throws his books at the window as the teacher turned toward the blackboard.
The teacher, surprised by the noise, turned around and asked, "Who did that?"
Little Johnny said, "I did, and I'm going home."
----------------------------

Your fingers...
...have fingertips but your toes don't have toe tips. Yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

 

[Son of Butch]

Your fingers......have fingertips but your toes don't have toe tips. Yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

But you can let your fingers do the walking..... well back in the day when yellow pages existed

 

[gman4691]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."