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D2Cat

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Truly a Texan:

A very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Texas one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump.

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."

He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, think of the Alamo."

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, ''Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, Yankee."
 
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D2Cat

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So as the couple got older the husband became worried that his wife's hearing was fading. But he was afraid to confront her about it for fear she would be upset about the idea that she is aging.

He devised a plan to check without the risk of an insult.

She was in the kitchen preparing dinner. From the bedroom he yelled, "What's for dinner?"

No response.

So he moved to the the living room and again yelled, "What's for dinner?"

Again, no response.

He moved to the dinning room, closer to the kitchen. Once again, "What's for dinner?"

Still nothing.

He then proceeds to the kitchen, still speaking loudly, "What's for dinner?'

Again, nothing but silence.

She's standing at the sink with her back to him. He comes around behind her, arms around her waist and says into her ear, using his normal speaking tone, "What's for dinner?"

She turns, gives him the look, and says . . .

"FOR THE FIFTH TIME, IT'S CHICKEN!"
 

MurraysMutts

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@FarmerShell

Guy driving thru town slowly.
Ask this lil girl walking along the road to get in the truck.
No! She says..
He says, "but I've got candy..."
No way! She says
O c'mon! I'll take you to get a coke too.
Get outta here! She says
Candy, a coke, and I'll take you to your mother, I promise! He says.

She finally stops walking and YELLS!
DAD! U BOUGHT THE F.....G CHEVY!
YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH, YOU CAN RIDE IN IT BY YOURSELF!!
 

FarmerShell

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He's real funny....but where is this mild language you promised?....you mean english???

Some folks don't like cuss words. My maw always tells me about everything 2-5 minutes "language check " I'm like 🤨 check for what? 😆🙌🏾 I know I talk bad sometimes when I get excited telling stories the more cuss words fly out my mouth. I've been trying to work on it, definitely a bad habit. I realize it makes me sound ridiculous as well again a bad habit. It could always be worse.

That man is hilarious!! ❤💯
 

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