Computer humor!

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Sir Loin

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Computer humor!

During a company's recent password audit, it was found that a employee was using the following password:
>
>
> "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyTallahassee"
>
> When asked why she had such a long password, she said
>
> that she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
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I think I know her!
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Linguists have discovered a new language spoken by a remote tribe in India that's understood by only 1,000 people. I believe the language is called "tech support."
Jay Leno
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Spanish Computer


A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2 They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
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In the future, Facebook, Youtube and Twitter will join together to make the largest site ever. It will be called YouTwitFace.
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Thay'll get better!
 
12 year-old girl: Grandpa will you buy me a computer?

Grandpa: There were no computers when I was your age.

Girl: How did you get on the internet?
 
Computer terms:

24/7
The window of time in which systems are most vulnerable to attack

Access Control List (ACL)
The operating system file that gives users access to files and programs they have no good reason to access

Analyst, security
A mercenary paid vast sums of money to tell you that your systems can't be secured
 
E-Commerce
A historical fad from the late '90s meant to generate hundreds of billions of dollars in new profits; the inciting factor that generated hundreds of billions of dollars being spent on security products
 

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