Cow patty humor

[Ouachita]

I'm sure you have some. Let's hear it.

 

[Lee VanRoss]

I'm sure you have some. Let's hear it.

Sorry, but I deem it beneath my paygrade...

 

[callmefence]

We all know what cows do in a trailerwhen you hit the road. And they do until they're empty.
We get these packs of bicycle's here almost every morning. They drive out from Austin with bicycle's strapped to the roof of the car to ride in packs on a narrow country road.
Nothing gives me more joy than running into a pack with a packed trailer. I go to pass but as I get along side I slow to their speed as long as possible. It's great , I recommend everyone try it. With cows coming off lush oat pasture I'm thinking of loading some and doing it for just sport... maybe get some walkie talkies...send the wife out ahead scouting....how bout that birddog... where they at..

 

[Lucky]

My brother worked for a dentist years ago and they went to lunch in his fancy Mercedes one day. He said the San Antonio rodeo was in town and they got stuck behind a trailer hualing bulls in heavy traffic. The dentist was freaking out cuz of all the crap getting splashed on his fancy car.

 

[Dave]

Hey, my dog is named Cow Patty. I am sure she wouldn't want anyone making fun of her. Do it to her face and she might just bite you. Or lick you, especially if you had any dog biscuits for her.

 

[CowboyRam]

We all know what cows do in a trailerwhen you hit the road. And they do until they're empty.
We get these packs of bicycle's here almost every morning. They drive out from Austin with bicycle's strapped to the roof of the car to ride in packs on a narrow country road.
Nothing gives me more joy than running into a pack with a packed trailer. I go to pass but as I get along side I slow to their speed as long as possible. It's great , I recommend everyone try it. With cows coming off lush oat pasture I'm thinking of loading some and doing it for just sport... maybe get some walkie talkies...send the wife out ahead scouting....how bout that birddog... where they at..

Make sure they are full of water as well.

 

[puzzled in oregon]

I was helping a rancher move his cows out of some bottom land that flooded in the winter to another ranch that
was all hill ground. He may have had 8 or 10 cows in his truck. I was following the truck in my S-10. The first mile
after leaving the corrals on the paved road was fairly level. But then there was about a half mile steep climb up out
of the bottom land. I was back a fair distance from the truck when he started up the steep climb. I was horrified at
the sheet of green water that came out of the back of that truck. Fortunately me and the S-10 were clear of it.
I don't think there would have been enough water in the windshield washer reservoir to clean off the windshield if
that had hit us. I gave him a good head start before I started up that hill.

In a time long ago, in a place not so far, I was told a local rancher used to haul his lambs down into California to sell.
He would take one of the neighbors sons with him. Once the lambs were unloaded and they were headed back to Oregon,
the guy would have the neighbors son get in the back of the truck with a shovel and clean out the truck as he drove up the
highway.

 

[Ouachita]

I got busy with grandkids. I'll tell my cow patty story tomorrow. Until then…….

 

[Lannie]

I love Jim Stafford, thank you! And Tommy and Dicky! What a blast!

I have a cow patty story, but it wasn't really a patty, per se. Suffice it to say, when you bring your first calf heifer in to the milking stanchion for her first milking, and her blood is surging with new mommy hormones, and she lifts her tail to take a rather nervous (you know, LIQUID) dump in protest, do not, and I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT yell at her to stop. Need I say more?

True story. Lesson learned.

 

[Ouachita]

Did she leave a skid mark?

 

[Lucky]

How about walking to the back of the trailer when unloading at the salebarn.

 

[wbvs58]

My old kelpie bitch Bo that I lost several years ago was the smartest thinking dog I have ever had. I had an electric collar for her on occaisions but she never got to feel the shock, just the beep or sometimes I had to resort to buzz and vibration but mostly when I put it on her she knew and it improved her hearing greatly. However whenever I put it on her she would go straight to the biggest freshest pile of cow $hit and smother the collar in it, she even used to aim for just the little black box just to muffle it. She was a very smart dog.

Ken

 

[hurleyjd]

Not about cow paddy. But have you ever followed a load of chickens that had just been picked up. Looks like a rain storm on both sides of the truck.

 

[puzzled in oregon]

How about walking to the back of the trailer when unloading at the salebarn.

The most challenging for me was to have to "duck walk" the bottom deck to get around a load of sheep. It was stinky and stuffy.

 

[Hpacres440p]

When I lived in Dumas, Main Street was the connection from the feedlots to the slaughterhouse. 2 lanes each way. Watched a police car get soaked at the stoplights,lots of out of towners with windows down in the summer too. There was a proposal to put "diapers" on the sides of cattle trucks. Smarter heads prevailed-would have been a lot of cattle overheating during the summers otherwise. First lesson I learned as a new driver was to not sit next to a cattle truck at a stoplight. Behind is much safer.

 

[MurraysMutts]

 

[Ouachita]

Cow patty fights were a form of entertainment that we could get away with, as long as we didn't wear our school clothes. I vaguely remember some rule about not using fresh patties.

My best friend Chris and I were 13 years old, and we had just bought a go-cart with lawn mowing money. It was fun to throw patties at the rider and this evolved into a "war" that our school bus friends began to join in after school.

We were at Chris' house, so he was showing our neighbor friends which pastures we could play in. He had an audience of a half dozen including me. I picked up a fresh one and hid behind a large stump while the other kids stood behind me. Chris was showing off, riding fast, and smiling from ear-to-ear. As he blasted by, I launched the butt fruit and nailed him in the smile.

Chris had just got braces on his teeth. The more he tried to scoop it out, the more buried into his braces it became. His parents didn't have money to spare; far from it. We knew the potential consequences before we walked in the house to find that special teeth brush, His Momma was fit to be tied and we both got a whipping. Then another when his Dad got home. Our "friends" decided it didn't look that fun and went home.

 

[Rafter S]

Back when my father was alive, and one of us got some on our clothes straight from the cow or calf, like you can get crowding calves up in the chute, he'd say "That's okay. It's clean. It hasn't been on the ground yet."

 

[shaz]

Cow patty fights were a form of entertainment that we could get away with, as long as we didn't wear our school clothes. I vaguely remember some rule about not using fresh patties.

My best friend Chris and I were 13 years old, and we had just bought a go-cart with lawn mowing money. It was fun to throw patties at the rider and this evolved into a "war" that our school bus friends began to join in after school.

We were at Chris' house, so he was showing our neighbor friends which pastures we could play in. He had an audience of a half dozen including me. I picked up a fresh one and hid behind a large stump while the other kids stood behind me. Chris was showing off, riding fast, and smiling from ear-to-ear. As he blasted by, I launched the butt fruit and nailed him in the smile.

Chris had just got braces on his teeth. The more he tried to scoop it out, the more buried into his braces it became. His parents didn't have money to spare; far from it. We knew the potential consequences before we walked in the house to find that special teeth brush, His Momma was fit to be tied and we both got a whipping. Then another when his Dad got home. Our "friends" decided it didn't look that fun and went home.

we used to build a fort out of square bales in the loft of the barn and 2 would attack and 1 would defend. It was either dried cow patties or rocks.

 

[Redgully]

we used to build a fort out of square bales in the loft of the barn and 2 would attack and 1 would defend. It was either dried cow patties or rocks.

When i was in primary school our uniform was white with red edging. We only wore our uniform on special occasions and we would have assembly on the oval. Of course there was a good mob of kangaroos that grazed the oval at night. Kangaroo droppings is the size of marbles, sooooo if you could find a nice fresh one still moist it would leave a green dot on the nice clean white uniforms. Really was entertaining at the time, our folks must have been livid when we all came home polka dotted.