Security alert levels
he English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again
to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have
not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
recategorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's
white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual, and the only threat they are worried about is
NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new
submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed
subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish
navy.
he English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again
to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have
not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
recategorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's
white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual, and the only threat they are worried about is
NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new
submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed
subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish
navy.