A huge blessing

[Hpacres440p]

Some of y'all may remember that I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital with my mom. She has frontotemporal dementia and primary progressive aphasia (same as Bruce Willis), which we have been dealing with for about 10 years now. So she can't say much other than occasional single words or sounds, but we (family) can still figure it out.
3 days before thanksgiving she fell and had a pretty decent brain.bleed-lost function of her left arm, unresponsive, basically a stroke. Because of her dementia and brain atrophy, she had more room in the "eggshell" for things to expand, but we were given little hope for recovery. A)holiday week so no PT/OT started. B) old lady with dementia-write her off. My folks have been married 55 years-Dad was realistic but we still wanted to do whatever we could without invasive procedure to give her a chance. She was struggling to drink, much less eat, so we elected hospice for comfort measures.
Fast forward 3 weeks, as soon as we got her out of the hospital and into a LTC facility, she started to drink with a lot of help. Then started eating. We have fought battles for her every step, that she wasn't something to be left alone in a dark room. Staff wouldn't get her out of bed because "she's on hospice". Hospice wouldn't order any kind of therapy, even though it is for improving function and quality of life, dad, mom's sister or I have been at her bedside every day mornings to bedtime to make sure she gets fluids and eats, and to do home-style PT.
Yesterday she "graduated " from hospice, and is starting PT/OT! We had 4 days left to get her certified for insurance purposes as of Tuesday-we fought with admin, insurance, and two caregiving entities to get her certified by Friday. She didn't want to leave yet, so we're working to improve her time here on earth. She clearly told me Friday "God did it" yes He did Mom!
If you have family in a hospital, especially if they are elderly or can't talk, BE THERE! It makes all the difference.

 

[Ky hills]

Very glad that she got away from Hospice.
So sorry that she and y'all have had to go through all of that with the hospitals, staff, drs, insurance.
Thank you for posting that, people need to be prepared to deal with a lot of unnecessary and awful things from the medical world when it comes to care and wellbeing of loved ones.
We went through very similar circumstances with my mother about 5 years ago.
She had always been a strong, intelligent and independent minded person. Up until she was 88 she was driving, going to church, doing things for church and friends, going to grocery stores, even doing taxes as accounting and budget work was her line of work.
Out of the blue she had an ischemic stroke. Because of her age and aftermath of the stroke drs and everybody in the hospitals wrote her off as just old and out of her head, which she was not. She was confused and overwhelmed by everything and not really capable of quickly responding but given time she could process her thoughts and communicate them.
We tried to be there as much as possible, but had to take care of cattle and could not be there all of the time but we're most of it. Even had a few friends come and sit with her in the hospital some and they witnessed the same treatment of her that we did.
We should have sued for neglect and abuse.
My wife had to clean her several times, and the nurses and staff claimed that they had. Apparently the hospital's cameras proved my wife was right.
My mother said that they treated her rough when taking her for tests and scans.
After another health incident we took her to another hospital. It was a little better at first but still very bad.
Her local cardiologist put her on a high dosage of a blood thinner after the stroke with a month she had a hemorrhagic stroke (brain bleed which debilitated her more).
The first incident at the second hospital was a drugged up icu nurse gave her the wrong medication, against the wishes of us. It caused an immediate reaction. They never did fully admit all the details but did enough that we could read between the lines. We overheard somebody likely a supervisor or dr calling for security and telling them to get the person out of there. We never saw that nurse anymore after that.
Another nurse was insistent on giving her a medication that had been changed a few days before. She argued that it was what she had given her the last time she was on duty and had never looked at the current chart.
Once out of ICU it got even worse. They rarely came in drs seemed to not make rounds. Assistants came in most times and said or did very little
Drs literally got in an argument with each other in front of my mother over whether or not to do a procedure.
I walked in her room early one morning to find a nurse talking mean to her, She couldn't get her awake to take pills. At one point my mother had her mouth open and the nurse just threw the pills in her mouth. I was on too good of behavior because my mother had always insisted that I hold my temper because I tend to have a very short fuse when I see something not right happening like somebody hurting or taking advantage of somebody. When she threw the pills that was it for me but I toned it down quite a bit but should not have. I snapped my finger to let her know I was there and watching and pointed at her and told that I knew she didn't think my mother knew what was going on but that she did and she would respond if she gave her a little time. I know they are in a hurry but she could have caused her to choke on those pills.
Another nurse told my wife that she did not believe anybody over 70 should be treated for anything. With people like that supposed to be caring for patients it is logical that patients are not receiving adequate care.
There was so much more that happened that it's too much to type.
There were a few good nurses and drs but they were the exceptions.

 

[Lucky]

My father in law was hospice 6 months ago. The wife worked with him everyday to get him better. This winter he has been helping her feed cows on the days I work. Anything is possible if you work and pray at it.

 

[Hpacres440p]

Very glad that she got away from Hospice.
So sorry that she and y'all have had to go through all of that with the hospitals, staff, drs, insurance.
Thank you for posting that, people need to be prepared to deal with a lot of unnecessary and awful things from the medical world when it comes to care and wellbeing of loved ones.
We went through very similar circumstances with my mother about 5 years ago.
She had always been a strong, intelligent and independent minded person. Up until she was 88 she was driving, going to church, doing things for church and friends, going to grocery stores, even doing taxes as accounting and budget work was her line of work.
Out of the blue she had an ischemic stroke. Because of her age and aftermath of the stroke drs and everybody in the hospitals wrote her off as just old and out of her head, which she was not. She was confused and overwhelmed by everything and not really capable of quickly responding but given time she could process her thoughts and communicate them.
We tried to be there as much as possible, but had to take care of cattle and could not be there all of the time but we're most of it. Even had a few friends come and sit with her in the hospital some and they witnessed the same treatment of her that we did.
We should have sued for neglect and abuse.
My wife had to clean her several times, and the nurses and staff claimed that they had. Apparently the hospital's cameras proved my wife was right.
My mother said that they treated her rough when taking her for tests and scans.
After another health incident we took her to another hospital. It was a little better at first but still very bad.
Her local cardiologist put her on a high dosage of a blood thinner after the stroke with a month she had a hemorrhagic stroke (brain bleed which debilitated her more).
The first incident at the second hospital was a drugged up icu nurse gave her the wrong medication, against the wishes of us. It caused an immediate reaction. They never did fully admit all the details but did enough that we could read between the lines. We overheard somebody likely a supervisor or dr calling for security and telling them to get the person out of there. We never saw that nurse anymore after that.
Another nurse was insistent on giving her a medication that had been changed a few days before. She argued that it was what she had given her the last time she was on duty and had never looked at the current chart.
Once out of ICU it got even worse. They rarely came in drs seemed to not make rounds. Assistants came in most times and said or did very little
Drs literally got in an argument with each other in front of my mother over whether or not to do a procedure.
I walked in her room early one morning to find a nurse talking mean to her, She couldn't get her awake to take pills. At one point my mother had her mouth open and the nurse just threw the pills in her mouth. I was on too good of behavior because my mother had always insisted that I hold my temper because I tend to have a very short fuse when I see something not right happening like somebody hurting or taking advantage of somebody. When she threw the pills that was it for me but I toned it down quite a bit but should not have. I snapped my finger to let her know I was there and watching and pointed at her and told that I knew she didn't think my mother knew what was going on but that she did and she would respond if she gave her a little time. I know they are in a hurry but she could have caused her to choke on those pills.
Another nurse told my wife that she did not believe anybody over 70 should be treated for anything. With people like that supposed to be caring for patients it is logical that patients are not receiving adequate care.
There was so much more that happened that it's too much to type.
There were a few good nurses and drs but they were the exceptions.

What's bad is my Mom is a nurse, I'm a nurse, my dad is a retired surgeon. We have had to play the "I'm medical too and know what you're doing is wrong" card too many times. I've been on the patient side twice in the past two months, once with each parent. If you're alert and can respond appropriately and quickly, you get treatment. If not, you better have family and friends ready to speak up. MPOA is VERY important!
I've always been proud to be a nurse. Not so much anymore.

 

[Lucky]

I've always been proud to be a nurse. Not so much anymore.

My mother was a Neonatal intensive care nurse for 30 yrs. You should be very proud of being a nurse. It's definitely something I could never do. IMHO being a caregiver is one of the hardest professions.

 

[greybeard]

I've always been proud to be a nurse. Not so much anymore

Don't feel that way. Nurses are the foundation upon which all else in medicine sits.
Like every other profession, there are a few bad ones. The rest are angels walking the Earth.

 

[Hpacres440p]

Just an update-after 3 1/2 months at a long-term "care" facility, and being able to see what was happening at night thanks to video monitoring for the past 6 weeks, we brought Mom home. We know her likelihood of being on this earth for any significant amount of time is low, but by God, no person should be treated like a piece of garbage for the time they have left. Especially someone who has lived a long life serving others. I will be contacting an ombudsman regarding some of the issues we saw, we had talked to administrators and nursing supervisors more times than we should have needed to. Thankfully no significant injuries, other than terrible deconditioning because the staff wasn't "allowed to" stand her up for transfers in or out of bed.
Dad is able to now go and do things he needs to get done, and caregivers 12 hours a day are so much better for individual care.
Terrible what people have to endure at the end of their usefulness. Grateful we could get her home.

 

[greybeard]

I gave that update a thumbsup, but that was for you being able to bring her home. The rest of it, her terrible treatment is deserving of someone in that facility deserving an ass whuppin. Their "following orders/not allowed to" Nuremburg Defense don't hold water.

 

[Hpacres440p]

I gave that update a thumbsup, but that was for you being able to bring her home. The rest of it, her terrible treatment is deserving of someone in that facility deserving an ass whuppin. Their "following orders/not allowed to" Nuremburg Defense don't hold water.

Agreed. It's going above them at this point. Her little neighbor resident was talking to me yesterday as I was picking up her belongings. She said she really worried about Mom, because staff wouldn't check on her. The neighbor (semiprivate rooms) said she always stayed up all night and was ready to hit the call light if she heard something strange. (Which wouldn't have helped because it took 30 minutes to answer a call light).That's absolutely terrible. Mom can't communicate, which is why we stayed 7a-7:30 p every day to make sure she was given care.
We finally realized that we could do as well or better at home, especially since all of her "rehab" options had been exhausted. Had we known 2 months earlier…glad we have her home now.

 

[Ky hills]

Glad that you could bring her home.
It's terrible what older people have to endure in hospitals and long term care facilities.
When my mother was in the hospitals and rehab units we had multiple conversations with people about her treatment. At one hospital they had it on their camera.
At one of the most renowned rehab facilities in our area, the night staff turned it into a house party.
Hopefully the caregivers will be a better situation. Just a word of warning, we have actually had some negative experiences with a few of them too. Just like the facilities you have to keep a watch on them too.
We have friends who recently hired caretakers and one was trying to manipulate different family members against each other. Finally one of the women got suspicious when the caretaker told an outlandish tale about the lady's brother.
That said all in all being at home and having people come in and actually be working for y'all is a plus.

 

[Hpacres440p]

Glad that you could bring her home.
It's terrible what older people have to endure in hospitals and long term care facilities.
When my mother was in the hospitals and rehab units we had multiple conversations with people about her treatment. At one hospital they had it on their camera.
At one of the most renowned rehab facilities in our area, the night staff turned it into a house party.
Hopefully the caregivers will be a better situation. Just a word of warning, we have actually had some negative experiences with a few of them too. Just like the facilities you have to keep a watch on them too.
We have friends who recently hired caretakers and one was trying to manipulate different family members against each other. Finally one of the women got suspicious when the caretaker told an outlandish tale about the lady's brother.
That said all in all being at home and having people come in and actually be working for y'all is a plus.

Thanks for the advice. Better part about caregivers is that if one is bad, we can request someone else, and it isn't a 24/7 situation out of our control.
Already on day 1, the caregiver was able to do a single-person transfer from bed to wheelchair with a gait belt. Those were verboten at the facility, and we (family) weren't given the resources to even attempt it.

 

[Brute 23]

Glad she is home.

I hate to say it but we don't leave any one unattended in medical "care". My grandfather died in a hospital after having a heart attack because he had another one shortly after and they didn't hook him up to the machine or monitor him. They walked away and came back to him dead. It was a VA hospital.

We had tons of issues with my grandmother when she had dementia also.

I had a buddy get cut by a hog and he had to go to the emergency room. I drove him but he kept saying you don't have to stay... you don't have to stay... but I told him I'm good, I got no where to be. He lost a lot of blood and it was making him think is was going to go to the bathroom on himself. We finally flagged some on down to get help. They ordered some medicine for him. A nurse came by and gave him some thing. I made a note in my phone. Few minutes later, another nurse came by with more medicine. I questioned her and asked... what is that... what's that for? She gave me all kinds of attitude. Yall said yall wanted some thing... blah blah. I told her... I know we did... but some one already gave it to him. They were about to double up on him. I told her get me a Dr or a manager or some one that knows what's going on around here. There was a Dr and head nurse or some one there shortly. Neither were happy about the situation.

A while back my son was sick for an extended period so his Dr wanted to do an echo on him with his heart valve. We went to that part of the hospital and the person there was like... we don't have some one here to do that, yall will have to come back another day, or yall will have to go to Corpus, blah blah blah. I was POed and questioning how do you not have one person on staff, it's a big hospital. My mother was with me and called my cousin (head of their dept) and she said that is BS there is some one that covers two buildings. They may not be in the building but they go back and forth as needed. My mom hung up with her and with in 5 min a guy walked up and said he was there to do the echo.

A little ways in the guy says... how do ya know (my cousin). My mom was quick to say... she's my niece and and my godchild. It was at that moment, he knew he f*ed up.

They were trying to get out of doing an echo on a sick... kid. How screwed up is that?

I'm not saying they are all bad, but definately don't just put your blind trust in to them.