wifes got stomach cancer

[dieselbeef]

thanks....he doesn't have the understanding of a mother with me....im a stiff old bas...d. I know it and I try to be a better dad...but I still have my moments.

I worry bout the things he wont know because I cant show him what a mother could

 

[HDRider]

I can't imagine. I am sure you are doing the best you can, and all you can. That is a lot.

 

[Nesikep]

Not sure what to say, but that I'm thinking about you... take care, do what you can, take time to smell the roses when you find them.

 

[dieselbeef]

thanks..we just keep trying to make momma proud

 

[bball]

The first year was the hardest imho. Second year will have its moments as well, still painful, but not as frequent it seemed. It is the most demanding thing a parent can do I believe. Take consolation in the fact you have a son. I have 2 daughters (along with sons)and I still feel like I was clueless trying to meet the needs only a mother can.
Grief is a brutal experience. No one capable of love escapes it. No words ease the hurt.. I'm 11 years removed from the loss of my wife, and time truly is the only thing that dulls the pain.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

thanks..we just keep trying to make momma proud

Are there any female family members, anywhere nearby, that you are close with? I ask because, perhaps, a little bit of time with them now and then, an give Gage some of the influence and insights that a mom/woman can give. Just a thought.

Being a single parent, whatever the reason, is a challenge, but when a parent has passed on, its all the more challenging I'm sure.

 

[Ky hills]

Praying for you and your son. I know that this has been hard on both of you. My wife lost her dad when she was 7. I think in times like these if folks just try to do the best that they can, it's all that can be done. I think that in time your son will come to understand that. My wife's mother struggled financially and emotionally with 3 young children, from what I understand they went through some tough times, but my wife looks back on it and knows that her mother loved them. I am not intending to give unsolicited advice, but then again I find myself doing that at times, so disregard what I say if not applicable. Maybe a youth sport, organization like 4H or FFA, or church youth group would be an opportunity for your son to be around other children his age, and also have other positive adults in addition to you in his life.

 

[ALACOWMAN]

God bless you and your son....

 

[dieselbeef]

 

[dieselbeef]

we watched it til it was gone. I told Gage that's when mom grabbed it from heaven so she could read our note.

thank you all for the kind words and encouragement

gary

 

[farmerjan]

Every time I see a post you have made I think about you and wonder how you two are doing. How is Gage's arm doing? Hope he has healed up and no problems.

You had said you had a big family so I hope that you both get to spend some time with them and maybe Gage has a "favorite" aunt or adult female cousin he can get some of the needed "female influence" from.

 

[bball]

Hey Gary, very cool with the lantern! Another thing you may consider, if you haven't already, is planting a tree on his mothers birthday together. We have an 11 year old apple tree now that is 'mom's' tree. The kid's love that tree and still talk about the day we planted it in her honor. There are lots of therapeutic things to help both of you. Best wishes for you all.

 

[boondocks]

Gary,
Although we have never met, I too think of you and your son often, and send you good thoughts through the universe. Beautiful lantern, beautiful son.
If it helps, tell us something about your wife, maybe a funny story or something she liked to do. We lost my nephew suddenly at age 10, and one of the hardest parts has been that loss of just hearing his name. (His name was Jimmy).
Tell me something about your beautiful Angel, if you would like?

 

[WalnutCrest]

been a yr today...were hangin in there....hasn't got much easier....

Somehow I managed to miss the last ten pages of this thread ... my eyes are full and my heart is broken for you.

An idea for Gage ... when he's trying to figure something that he may have wanted to ask his mom for help (or you may have deferred to her about) all him what he thinks mom may tell him as advice. There is a good chance that he knew her well enough to know what her advice would be ... and this would help with her memory (and help you parent him asking side your bride even though she's not there physically to help; she is emotionally and mentally; foster this memories and they'll become more powerful and helpful (hopefully)).

May the Lord give you strength and peace and may He give you patience with each other as you learn how to do this.

 

[djinwa]

Don't come here often, but add me to those who are feeling for you. Hope we can lessen the pain.

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans"

Have to be grateful for whatever time we get.

 

[slick4591]

Takes a lot of moxy to do what you are doing, DB. I have a nephew raising twins (boy and girl) on his own and I see his struggles. Be strong and our prayers are still going up for you.

 

[dieselbeef]

hey jan gages arm has healed up just fine thankfully....

all our family is in Ohio so we get there a cpl times a yr maybe....we pretty much got it on our own. moms 79 and although she still kicking the crap out of life she isn't mom...gage spends time with her on long weekend so we see her a cpl times a month..she's also 100 mi away

weve got a cpl of angels friends we lean on and his afterschool teacher was a pal of angels so she gives me a place to lean occaisionally. her and her family are really good people.

hook man I was actually just thinkin of you the other day..don't kow why just was wondering what ya been doing....

I really am a one man show anymore so I stay busy as all git out (one of angels favorite saying right there). nothing like laundry/cooking/cleaning/homework to use up all yer extra time when yer not making a buck...

thank god she left me that little boy...id be in a bad place without having to look after him and make sure hes gonna be set for life....