Walmart's Own Wine

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TexasBred

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For all you wine lovers out there, this is noteworthy!!!! Walmart announced that, sometime in 2009, it will begin offering customers a new discount item ---- Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an
affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Walmart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas . "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brand. The top surveyed names
in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel). P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.
 

Lammie

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I think I want to try numbers 3 and 6. Had some #5 over the weekend. I can't say it's the best, but it gets the job done. :drink:
 

HOSS

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Since most Wal-Mart stuff is imported from China I would figure they would bring in the most famous Chinese wine. It is called Great Wall. But then again California is about as close to China as you can get.
 

backhoeboogie

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Has there been a cost benefit analysis? It seems the sale of these wines will have a direct affect on their sales of ex-laxxxxxxxx. The wine will be cheaper and likely more effective
 
OP
TexasBred

TexasBred

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backhoeboogie":k1c5q215 said:
Has there been a cost benefit analysis? It seems the sale of these wines will have a direct affect on their sales of ex-laxxxxxxxx. The wine will be cheaper and likely more effective

Loss of ExLax sales will be offset by the increase in TP sales as well as Imodium, Tylenol and AlkaSeltzer. This is where they will "make their money".
 

backhoeboogie

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TexasBred":39ss1f9w said:
backhoeboogie":39ss1f9w said:
Has there been a cost benefit analysis? It seems the sale of these wines will have a direct affect on their sales of ex-laxxxxxxxx. The wine will be cheaper and likely more effective

Loss of ExLax sales will be offset by the increase in TP sales as well as Imodium, Tylenol and AlkaSeltzer. This is where they will "make their money".

Ah yes! You're right. Also you're talking more wine availability likely Increasing prophylactic sales as well as EPTs too. This could be big!
 

Jalopy

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I assume they will sell the wine in boxes so you can get the volume discount and they do not have to worry about refunds on deposits. But maybe you can buy it by the case of bottles.
" I got a case of Peanut Noir" does not sound as bad as "I got a a case of Nasti Spumante" :D
 

crats

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now for all ya'll unsofitsicated folk's the best wine for spam kabobs in the #1 while the old lady cooks up the main course the old time fav. Great Value cheeze burger macarony and serve the #9 in a chilled mug and the desert wine #10 sumtin special for the bakery like them mini fried pies
 

Lammie

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Jalopy":f7q9b6jh said:
I assume they will sell the wine in boxes so you can get the volume discount and they do not have to worry about refunds on deposits. But maybe you can buy it by the case of bottles.
" I got a case of Peanut Noir" does not sound as bad as "I got a a case of Nasti Spumante" :D

Thanks. I really needed a good laugh this morning. Now, in addition to the EPT's and the condoms and the hangover remedies, I also understand that Walmart is adding an express divorce lane in selected stores where these products are sold.

They actually do have several varieties of wine under the Turning Leaf lable, for about four bucks a bottle. Goes well with canned pasta.

Wine in a box... How many Thanksgivings have I observed Mom going for the box of wine? Redneck holiday memories are made, then forgotten in a haze of headache and intestinal discomfort, due to wine in a box. I'm not talking the little box, either. I want the big box, and several of them. Keep those relatives sedated and propped up next to the fireplace.
 

mnmtranching

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We ain't gonna see it in Minnesota, :???: The only alcohol allowed in retail groceries has to be less then 3.2%.
Don't ask me why.
 

john250

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mnmtranching":mjmxraxs said:
We ain't gonna see it in Minnesota, :???: The only alcohol allowed in retail groceries has to be less then 3.2%.
Don't ask me why.

Why? Your retail groceries have less clout than your liquor stores. Our groceries can sell anything, up to and including liquor. But, they CANNOT sell cold beer. Warm case and 3 bags ice. No problem. Cold beer--nope. Liquor stores lobby furiously to keep this one advantage.
 

mobgrazer

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Lammie…
The boxes of wine turn in to a great pillow once it is empty. Just blow it up and good to go.
 

chrisy

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Our 'Wal-Mart' sister store 'ASDA' already has it's own wine label and it is like paint stripper. But if E & J had comissioned them I wouldn't mind I like their wines....
I recieved this e-mail a while back and these are the rest of the list, which I got.
35. Box O' Grapes
34. Grapes O' Rath
33. Bubba's Wiser
32. Houndog Hooch
31. Jethroze Jugs
30. Charred An Eh du Jour (Canadian Newfie's favourite, eh!)
29. Sew Vinney Blank
28. Trailer Trash Coonies (looks just like yer pets - comes cheaper by the bag)
27. Whine and Dine
26. Sparkling Whine
25. Whine Racks (recipe from the Middle Ages)
24. Bubba Sangria (B.S. for short)
23. Sam Pain (hi-end, Bubba-ly stuff)
22. Bored Eau Wine (made with almost-real water!)
21. Nap' A Valley Whine (ya'll sleep real good after a jug o' this stuff!)
20. Son O' Ma Country (made close to that Nap' A Valley place)
19. Saw Vinno Blanks (shooters for up-country folks)
18. Semi Lon (for those who only want half a keg)
17. Licker's Quicker
16. Front n' Back (pours the same from the top or the bottom)
15. Chateau Traileur Parc (some jugs sold as Chateau Traileur Doublewide)
14. White Trashfindel
13. Big Red Gulp
12. Grape Expectations
11. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”
 

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