Reasons why Crowder should or shouldn't be elected!

[warpaint]

A. Dinner is Lunch Supper is well, Supper
B. Ya'll need to give me a BIG Ya'll- Not yenz, you Guys, etc.
C. Country Ham and Biscuits are always on the menu.
D. You will wear Britches that "fit" you.
E. No Tongue Piercings or Earings, that's just plain Queer.
F. You will open doors for Wimmens.
G. You will wear your Ball Cap Straight.
H. The Flag will be honored and saluted to at all events.
I. You will own Firearms.
J. You will NOT watch "American Idol".
K. You WILL watch my show ""Dancing with Cow-Gals in 2nd Ave. Bars"
L. You will not Drive a Jap Truck.
M. I dont know anymore of the Alphabet.

WOW !! Crowder I totally support most all of that, well, A through M anyway. Once you get their ball caps straight, they can tip their hats to the Wimmens in addition to opening the door.

Now I am convinced. I got the checkbook out. Where do I send my campaign contribution? Is Paint still in charge of that?

YUP!!! 8)

 

[Crowderfarms]

Paint... the Boy aint got a clue to where to mail that Big Ol' check to: I'm gonna have to give him the address.

Backhoe send it to:
Unkle Paint
C/O Presidential Slush Fund
BR-549 Rebel House Rd.
Crowderville, TN. 55555

Make sure the memo part of your check is marked "GIFT"

 

[Gate Opener]

shouldn't- He is a rebel against the Union
should- can't think of one good reason :tiphat:

Come on doesn't anybody want to do the old North, South fight? I am bored. I know how to start the fight easy, but I guess I will wait till next week.

Quite to the Contrary Auctionlad.The South will get along with the North, under certain provisions, ascertaining to the above formidable confliction of derivons. To put in Laymen's terms, you got to foller our rules...

A. Dinner is Lunch Supper is well, Supper
B. Ya'll need to give me a BIG Ya'll- Not yenz, you Guys, etc.
C. Country Ham and Biscuits are always on the menu.
D. You will wear Britches that "fit" you.
E. No Tongue Piercings or Earings, that's just plain Queer.
F. You will open doors for Wimmens.
G. You will wear your Ball Cap Straight.
H. The Flag will be honored and saluted to at all events.
I. You will own Firearms.
J. You will NOT watch "American Idol".
K. You WILL watch my show ""Dancing with Cow-Gals in 2nd Ave. Bars"
L. You will not Drive a Jap Truck.
M. I dont know anymore of the Alphabet.

Now back to the original post....

I agree with every one of these.

Let me add that when a man does letter F. that the women, I mean wimmens need to say thank you. Makes me so mad when I see a fella open the door and let the wimmen through and she doesn't say thanks or nod or nothing. I bet you men want to kick them in the hinney at that point.

 

[Crowderfarms]

shouldn't- He is a rebel against the Union
should- can't think of one good reason :tiphat:

Come on doesn't anybody want to do the old North, South fight? I am bored. I know how to start the fight easy, but I guess I will wait till next week.

Quite to the Contrary Auctionlad.The South will get along with the North, under certain provisions, ascertaining to the above formidable confliction of derivons. To put in Laymen's terms, you got to foller our rules...

A. Dinner is Lunch Supper is well, Supper
B. Ya'll need to give me a BIG Ya'll- Not yenz, you Guys, etc.
C. Country Ham and Biscuits are always on the menu.
D. You will wear Britches that "fit" you.
E. No Tongue Piercings or Earings, that's just plain Queer.
F. You will open doors for Wimmens.
G. You will wear your Ball Cap Straight.
H. The Flag will be honored and saluted to at all events.
I. You will own Firearms.
J. You will NOT watch "American Idol".
K. You WILL watch my show ""Dancing with Cow-Gals in 2nd Ave. Bars"
L. You will not Drive a Jap Truck.
M. I dont know anymore of the Alphabet.

Now back to the original post....

I agree with every one of these.

Let me add that when a man does letter F. that the women, I mean wimmens need to say thank you. Makes me so mad when I see a fella open the door and let the wimmen through and she doesn't say thanks or nod or nothing. I bet you men want to kick them in the hinney at that point.

I got to be perfectly honest on this 'un. I have never opened a door for a Lady and not had her thank me.-But then again this is Uncle Crowder's experience.Most Women get blown away that a door was opened for them to start with.

 

[backhoeboogie]

I bet you men want to kick them in the hinney at that point.

Shucks no. When I meet a lady like that, I know there is absolutely no need in me sparing the breath for a calm "hello". There is no need to know what's on her mind. I don't want to know. I'd open the door for her again the next day and tip the hat nevertheless.

 

[chrisy]

I was told they wear their hats back to front, to use the peak to keep the sun off of their necks. ~That seems a good enough reason to me, as the neck is what needs to be kept from the blazing sun.

not many men open doors for wimmens now days, as they did ask for independance in equal rights for women.

 

[auctionboy]

shouldn't- He is a rebel against the Union
should- can't think of one good reason :tiphat:

Come on doesn't anybody want to do the old North, South fight? I am bored. I know how to start the fight easy, but I guess I will wait till next week.

Quite to the Contrary Auctionlad.The South will get along with the North, under certain provisions, ascertaining to the above formidable confliction of derivons. To put in Laymen's terms, you got to foller our rules...

A. Dinner is Lunch Supper is well, Supper
B. Ya'll need to give me a BIG Ya'll- Not yenz, you Guys, etc.
C. Country Ham and Biscuits are always on the menu.
D. You will wear Britches that "fit" you.
E. No Tongue Piercings or Earings, that's just plain Queer.
F. You will open doors for Wimmens.
G. You will wear your Ball Cap Straight.
H. The Flag will be honored and saluted to at all events.
I. You will own Firearms.
J. You will NOT watch "American Idol".
K. You WILL watch my show ""Dancing with Cow-Gals in 2nd Ave. Bars"
L. You will not Drive a Jap Truck.
M. I dont know anymore of the Alphabet.

Now back to the original post....

Okay but if you want to get the votes you will need to
A. Speak in a dialect we can understand
B. keep your heifers down there
C. Deport alice

 

[flaboy?]

Okay but if you want to get the votes you will need to
A. Speak in a dialect we can understand
B. keep your heifers down there
C. Deport alice

Well, if-fin we have to explain to ya, you wouldn't understand anyway.

We plan to keep our heifers down here. Sure don't want none of those spiky headed, nail breakers, can't cook grits and don't know what they are, primps coming down here to try to find a real cowboy.

I am promoting Alice for Secretary of Passports. She will have the final approval for all Northern folks to VISIT the South. :lol:

 

[Alice]

Key word there, Flaboy?...VISIT.

And, I would gladly accept the Secretary of Passports position.

Alice

 

[flaboy?]

Key word there, Flaboy?...VISIT.

And, I would gladly accept the Secretary of Passports position.

Alice

Yep, VISIT. I would be in favor of the entry visa being good for no longer than it takes for them to spend say $5000 each. That should take about a week. :shock:

 

[auctionboy]

If it is a package deal and Alice gets a position I will vote for anybody else.

 

[warpaint]

Key word there, Flaboy?...VISIT.

And, I would gladly accept the Secretary of Passports position.

Alice

Yep, VISIT. I would be in favor of the entry visa being good for no longer than it takes for them to spend say $5000 each. That should take about a week. :shock:

Excellent point flaboy!!

On the appointment of Aunt Alice to the Secretary of Passports, I second the nomination!!

All Senior Staff submit your votes either in writin or a show of hands.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Key word there, Flaboy?...VISIT.

And, I would gladly accept the Secretary of Passports position.

Alice

Aunt Alice, Consider your appointment a Done Deal...
I need to step in here and clarify a few misconceptions that may enter into one's mind...

First off rules have to be enforced, to protect the "Southern" voting Public. "Weekend Permits" will be issued only to those intending to stay at a qualified location in the Southern U.S.

These locations will be limited to visits and patrons of the "El Crowder" Casino, Convent and Hooters. :banana: :banana:

Note: The El Crowders casino is an election ploy to attract the minority Voter! Hence it's real name is "Uncle Crowder's" Casino, Convent, and Hooters.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Key word there, Flaboy?...VISIT.

And, I would gladly accept the Secretary of Passports position.

Alice

Aunt Alice, Consider your appointment a Done Deal...

Alice, One request. Please extend auctionboy a VIP Visit to the south. In fact, this could be a fund raiser event for Crowder's election. An educational thing so to speak.

 

[VanC]

I am promoting Alice for Secretary of Passports. She will have the final approval for all Northern folks to VISIT the South. :lol:

That would be a waste of good talent. Find her something important and y'all might get my vote. ;-)

 

[Alice]

Ya'll write the rules, I'll enforce 'em. Michael Chertoff will have nothing on me...

Alice

 

[warpaint]

I am promoting Alice for Secretary of Passports. She will have the final approval for all Northern folks to VISIT the South. :lol:

That would be a waste of good talent. Find her something important and y'all might get my vote. ;-)

Now Van, you know I done paid you good money for your vote!
Got the canceled check to prove it. :lol:

 

[VanC]

Now Van, you know I done paid you good money for your vote!
Got the canceled check to prove it. :lol:

Yeah, but I've cashed checks from 5 other candidates, too. I used to hate election campaigns but this one is turning out pretty good for me so far. ;-)

P.S. I'm still undecided. Send more money.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Now Van, you know I done paid you good money for your vote!
Got the canceled check to prove it. :lol:

Yeah, but I've cashed checks from 5 other candidates, too. I used to hate election campaigns but this one is turning out pretty good for me so far. ;-)

P.S. I'm still undecided. Send more money.

I'll let Aunt Alice take care of this one...Sick em'. :lol:

I neglected to name her as Southland Security also.

 

[VanC]

Now Van, you know I done paid you good money for your vote!
Got the canceled check to prove it. :lol:

Yeah, but I've cashed checks from 5 other candidates, too. I used to hate election campaigns but this one is turning out pretty good for me so far. ;-)

P.S. I'm still undecided. Send more money.

I'll let Aunt Alice take care of this one...Sick em'. :lol:

I neglected to name her as Southland Security also.

Alice would never hurt a man named Van. I hope. :shock: