Glad this weekend is over.

[Ky hills]

My wife's brother and some of their cousins have an annual cousins weekend, and last year they decided to come to our BnB here in KY. Usually they go to Las Vegas or somewhere to big city.
Of course, they got pretty much a free stay, a couple did leave a tip.
I knew it was going to be a mess from the word go, as my wife and I along with her sister live different lives than most of them. Wife and her sister have been at odds for quite a while. My wife is a person that throws it all out there as far as what's in her mind, and her sister is a goodie two shoes that tries to control her.
So anyways lots of egos and agendas. Wife's brother is a guy that works hard to play hard and his wife is a very selfish Californian with a desire for the pomp and circumstance stuff.
They all kind of look down their noses at my wife and I because we are farmers and don't desire to live the high life.
One of her cousins jumps down her throat as soon as she gets here about we need to get rid of our dogs, wife needs to dye her gray hair, we need to redo the BnB house and modernize it.
Wife comes back to our house crying.
Instead of them deferring to us about what to do in the area, the Californian has to be in charge and they even argued with my wife about how far away something was.
So then, they decide to go over to the big city and go to a restaurant. 2 1/2 hour wait, it's well after noon and most of us were hungry. Several of us standing around waiting and a waitress pipes off we're in the way.
I've had all I take by then, and walk out using some colorful language. I try not to do that but sometimes it just flows when I've had enough.
My wife and I figured that we were kind of profiled as being country people from the mountains is why they confronted us. The urbanites of the group were over at coffee shop waiting. If it had been them standing there they likely would never have said anything.
After my wife and I left she told them that and when they got back they jumped all over my wife like a pack of wild dogs.
They were mad because we left, but if we're going to pay $70-80 for a meal and wait over 2 1/2 hours and told we are in the way there's no way I'm staying.
I'd rather go to a McDonalds than that mess.
Her brother was saying we have victim mentality blah blah blah.
Before they went home the next morning he tried to apologize to me. Saying oh they didn't agree with me but they still loved me and cared about me. I played along for my wife but was really thinking BS, him and his Californian aren't welcome here anymore, but they won't ever likely come back anyway. My wife agreed with me on that. They really hurt her bad.
People just don't understand the farm life, and they look at us like we are stupid and beneath them.
Nobody wants somebody coming in to your home and taking over and insulting you.
I'm actually regretting not running most of them off.
Ugh.
We had been talking about relocating close to her family so she could be close to her aging mother but my wife said that was out now.
Maybe I can talk her into going to Mississippi or somewhere in the Deep South instead.
Sorry for the rant just had to vent and I figured y'all know how that is.

 

[Logan52]

I think my in-laws are saints after this. Thank You

 

[moses388]

I hear you - family sucks. That's why I don't do anything with family. Don't even care for dining out at McDonald's. Ordered chicken and received a burger. At another McDonald's I waited at the counter for 5 minutes. Didn't even get a "hello" let alone have somebody take my order. Walked out and won't go back to any of them.

 

[Dave]

Back very early in your story you said "wife comes back to our house crying." That is where it would have ended for me. There is the door don't let it hit you in the a$$ on the way out. End of story. I can be very nice and polite. Make my wife cry and I will turn into one big mean rude SOB.

 

[CowboyRam]

Some families are so self absorbed. My ex wife's family was a piece of work. It started before we even got married. Her mother want to look at wedding gowns but would cancel every time. She finally had to pick one, and then her mother told her she was not going to come to the wedding because she didn't get to look at gowns. Then come her oldest sister, she turned out her arms so that her tattoos would show up in the wedding pictures. Then it came to Christmas as we were getting gifts for her family, and we had to be careful that we didn't offend her older sister. I was waiting for her to say something about the gift in front of me. I would have grabbed it and said, you don't like it, fine I will keep it. That never happened; maybe she knew I was going to do that. I am glad to be rid of lot of them. They were more along the lines of trailer trash than anything. I have come to the conclusion it has nothing to do with economic stature, some are just no good.

 

[Allenw]

They insulted you and took advantage of your hospitality, F..k them ignorant clods..

 

[Ouachita]

Who are you and what did you do with Ky hills?

 

[Travlr]

Well I'm in a different boat...

Pretty much all of my friends from decades of relationship have cut me off over politics. (This post is not about politics, it's about relationships.) It doesn't matter which side they are on, they don't like it that I find value in both sides, as well as problems. If I'm not with them... then I'm against them... which I'm really not. I'm just open minded.

My relatives are much more tolerant. Not an extremist in the bunch except for one drunk that can't speak without a political rant and I've managed to avoid him. Both my wife's family and mine hurt each others feelings, but we all know we love each other and we give the benefit of the doubt.

But... we (the families) also don't tell anyone what to do or how to live our lives. We all care enough to let each other make our own decisions and if we have any concerns we are more likely to ask questions than statements.

Sorry to hear about the poor behavior @Ky hills, and I hope you can get past it in a constructive way.

 

[Ky hills]

Back very early in your story you said "wife comes back to our house crying." That is where it would have ended for me. There is the door don't let it hit you in the a$$ on the way out. End of story. I can be very nice and polite. Make my wife cry and I will turn into one big mean rude SOB.

Yes I agree I made a mistake by not doing just that, been kicking myself ever since for not. I was furious, but I've always tried to control my temper so she could still have a relationship with her family, but after that it's definitely strained and probably over between her and some of them and I won't have any more to do with them.

 

[Ky hills]

Who are you and what did you do with Ky hills?

Good question I'm wondering that myself.

 

[farmerjan]

You are entirely within your right mind to vent the frustration with "friends" here.... and many having had some situations that can be deemed similar or understandably alike to your frustrating situation.
I do not fault you for not blowing up at making your wife cry understanding that you were trying to be a gentleman and allow her to maybe try to salvage her own family relationships.

Sorry for the way they treated you and your wife... and regardless of what comes down the road... YOUR B & B is BOOKED if any of them ever try to come back...

Like the song by Kenny Rogers Sometimes you have to fight if you're a man.... well sometimes you have to say what you think and walk out, like at the restaurant...

 

[MurraysMutts]

Good on you for being the bigger man @Ky hills

I'm with the others. They wouldn't be invited back

 

[Ouachita]

Good question I'm wondering that myself.

I do sometimes question my reaction to people. The large majority of the time, it ain't worth it.

I'm sorry that you, and especially your darlin', had to deal with them. You can't alter the dumbassery that is now a human condition closely associated with pure ignorance.

Some peoples kids will never understand why you and your wife love the life you do. It'll never be their life to understand.

I'll suggest that you avoid judging the idiots. Something about wallowing in the mud with a pig.

I think you're a good human and would like to meet you someday. I've had my share of human crap lately. Hang in there.

 

[wbvs58]

I've got my family well trained, they have the good sense not to even bother inviting me to birthdays, weddings, funerals or christenings.

Ken

 

[dave_shelby]

@Ky hills hope you can get some happiness back. Family issues can be so draining.

It seems that families and friends are increasingly distant. I know for my immediate family its that way. The rural-urban divide and the political divide have widened and coalesced. My immediate family can't even eat a meal together easily because that's a charged issue now. Dietary restrictions both real and self imposed - vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, carbon, animal welfare.

 

[mayesfarm]

Sounds like we have the same in laws! How did I miss you at Christmas or Thanksgiving? Oh yeah, I kill hogs on Thanksgiving and synchronize heifers to be bred on Christmas...wonder why?

 

[Grayme]

My wife's brother and some of their cousins have an annual cousins weekend, and last year they decided to come to our BnB here in KY. Usually they go to Las Vegas or somewhere to big city.
Of course, they got pretty much a free stay, a couple did leave a tip.
I knew it was going to be a mess from the word go, as my wife and I along with her sister live different lives than most of them. Wife and her sister have been at odds for quite a while. My wife is a person that throws it all out there as far as what's in her mind, and her sister is a goodie two shoes that tries to control her.
So anyways lots of egos and agendas. Wife's brother is a guy that works hard to play hard and his wife is a very selfish Californian with a desire for the pomp and circumstance stuff.
They all kind of look down their noses at my wife and I because we are farmers and don't desire to live the high life.
One of her cousins jumps down her throat as soon as she gets here about we need to get rid of our dogs, wife needs to dye her gray hair, we need to redo the BnB house and modernize it.
Wife comes back to our house crying.
Instead of them deferring to us about what to do in the area, the Californian has to be in charge and they even argued with my wife about how far away something was.
So then, they decide to go over to the big city and go to a restaurant. 2 1/2 hour wait, it's well after noon and most of us were hungry. Several of us standing around waiting and a waitress pipes off we're in the way.
I've had all I take by then, and walk out using some colorful language. I try not to do that but sometimes it just flows when I've had enough.
My wife and I figured that we were kind of profiled as being country people from the mountains is why they confronted us. The urbanites of the group were over at coffee shop waiting. If it had been them standing there they likely would never have said anything.
After my wife and I left she told them that and when they got back they jumped all over my wife like a pack of wild dogs.
They were mad because we left, but if we're going to pay $70-80 for a meal and wait over 2 1/2 hours and told we are in the way there's no way I'm staying.
I'd rather go to a McDonalds than that mess.
Her brother was saying we have victim mentality blah blah blah.
Before they went home the next morning he tried to apologize to me. Saying oh they didn't agree with me but they still loved me and cared about me. I played along for my wife but was really thinking BS, him and his Californian aren't welcome here anymore, but they won't ever likely come back anyway. My wife agreed with me on that. They really hurt her bad.
People just don't understand the farm life, and they look at us like we are stupid and beneath them.
Nobody wants somebody coIm there with you brotherming in to your home and taking over and insulting you.
I'm actually regretting not running most of them off.
Ugh.
We had been talking about relocating close to her family so she could be close to her aging mother but my wife said that was out now.
Maybe I can talk her into going to Mississippi or somewhere in the Deep South instead.
Sorry for the rant just had to vent and I figured y'all know how that is.

My wife's brother and some of their cousins have an annual cousins weekend, and last year they decided to come to our BnB here in KY. Usually they go to Las Vegas or somewhere to big city.
Of course, they got pretty much a free stay, a couple did leave a tip.
I knew it was going to be a mess from the word go, as my wife and I along with her sister live different lives than most of them. Wife and her sister have been at odds for quite a while. My wife is a person that throws it all out there as far as what's in her mind, and her sister is a goodie two shoes that tries to control her.
So anyways lots of egos and agendas. Wife's brother is a guy that works hard to play hard and his wife is a very selfish Californian with a desire for the pomp and circumstance stuff.
They all kind of look down their noses at my wife and I because we are farmers and don't desire to live the high life.
One of her cousins jumps down her throat as soon as she gets here about we need to get rid of our dogs, wife needs to dye her gray hair, we need to redo the BnB house and modernize it.
Wife comes back to our house crying.
Instead of them deferring to us about what to do in the area, the Californian has to be in charge and they even argued with my wife about how far away something was.
So then, they decide to go over to the big city and go to a restaurant. 2 1/2 hour wait, it's well after noon and most of us were hungry. Several of us standing around waiting and a waitress pipes off we're in the way.
I've had all I take by then, and walk out using some colorful language. I try not to do that but sometimes it just flows when I've had enough.
My wife and I figured that we were kind of profiled as being country people from the mountains is why they confronted us. The urbanites of the group were over at coffee shop waiting. If it had been them standing there they likely would never have said anything.
After my wife and I left she told them that and when they got back they jumped all over my wife like a pack of wild dogs.
They were mad because we left, but if we're going to pay $70-80 for a meal and wait over 2 1/2 hours and told we are in the way there's no way I'm staying.
I'd rather go to a McDonalds than that mess.
Her brother was saying we have victim mentality blah blah blah.
Before they went home the next morning he tried to apologize to me. Saying oh they didn't agree with me but they still loved me and cared about me. I played along for my wife but was really thinking BS, him and his Californian aren't welcome here anymore, but they won't ever likely come back anyway. My wife agreed with me on that. They really hurt her bad.
People just don't understand the farm life, and they look at us like we are stupid and beneath them.
Nobody wants somebody coming in to your home and taking over and insulting you.
I'm actually regretting not running most of them off.
Ugh.
We had been talking about relocating close to her family so she could be close to her aging mother but my wife said that was out now.
Maybe I can talk her into going to Mississippi or somewhere in the Deep South instead.
Sorry for the rant just had to vent and I figured y'all know how that is.

I'm there with you brother! F--- them all.

 

[coachg]

Have 2 brothers in law . Youngest and my wife are tight. He uses her like crazy but she can't or doesn't see it like me and my children do . Can't say anything or it's not good at my house . He's the baby brother that she's taken care of since he was in Jr High when their mother passed away from cancer. She was a sophomore in high school. Older brother is a lawyer and is a carbon copy of her dad . Money is all he is concerned with. Recently mentioned he'd like to establish a solar farm on the family farm of 300 acres . Of course he lives 2 hours away and never visits the home place since their dad died . I told my wife that wasn't going to happen without a major fight and court intervention. All of us have kin ( not calling them family ) that are drama to deal with . I can totally understand Ky hills ! I could write a book but I've said too much now .

 

[Jeanne - Simme Valley]

We ARE your friends and this is a great place to VENT.

I am lucky. Both sides of the family always loved our farm life. My R.I. family look forward to visiting - my house turns into wall-to-wall air mattresses. Wish I had a B&B - LOL.

I am really bad about "turning the other cheek" - I spit out what I'm thinking way too often. You probably already know that! LOL

 

[herofan]

I'm in KY, and I remember similar things from our visiting relatives from California, Florida, and Chicago when I was growing up. They were more subtle about it than what you described, but it was no trouble to tell that they thought they were smarter and everything was better where they were from. I wouldn't trade places with any of them.