Daily Chuckle

Help Support CattleToday:

Four guys floating in a boat in the middle of a lake...

First guy: "You won't believe what I had to promise my wife so she'd let me come fishing this weekend with you guys. I had to promise her I'd paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing! I'm gonna have to build a new deck when I get home."

Third guy: "You guys got it easy! I had to tell my wife that I'd remodel the kitchen for her."

The fourth guy just sat there with a little grin on his face. So one of his friends asked him, "You've been quiet about what you had to do to go fishing this weekend. What's your story?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:00 am. When it goes off, I turn off the clock, nudge the wife, and say 'Fishing or Sex.' And she always replies, 'Wear a sweater.'"

And I have to add this... This is why I married my wife and never go fishing in the early morning. And it's also why I enjoyed remodeling the kitchen.
 
Question: Why is it that men never seem to get depressed?
Answer: We are just happier in general.
We are such simple creatures.
Our last name stays the same.
The garage is all ours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can never be pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
We can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
The world is our urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000…..Tux rental $100.
People never stare at our chest .
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
We can open all our own jars.
If someone forgets to invite us, they are still our friend.
Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
We only have to shave our face.
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes are good for all seasons.
We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can trim our nails with a pocket knife.
We can Christmas shop for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
 
Warren Allison said:
Question: Why is it that [real/non-x,y,z] men never seem to get depressed?
Answer: We are just happier in general.
We are such simple creatures.
Our last name stays the same.
The garage is all ours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can never be pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
We can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
The world is our urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000…..Tux rental $100.
People never stare at our chest .
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
We can open all our own jars.
If someone forgets to invite us, they are still our friend.
Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
We only have to shave our face.
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes are good for all seasons.
We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can trim our nails with a pocket knife.
We can Christmas shop for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Click to expand...
Fixed that for ya...
 
4hfarms said:
Vacation, ha! I don't even like to go to the city for the day.

Bad example, I hate the city...
Click to expand...
I got where I could get around Denver pretty good, but dang it was great when I could make it back over the mountain into northwest Colorado. I went to to a trade school near I-25 and the Boulder Turnpike. That cured me from ever wanting to live in the big city. Although I would probably make way more money had I had gone to work for one of those big construction companies after graduating from Colorado State University.
 
Warren Allison said:
Question: Why is it that men never seem to get depressed?
Answer: We are just happier in general.
We are such simple creatures.
Our last name stays the same.
The garage is all ours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can never be pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
We can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
The world is our urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000…..Tux rental $100.
People never stare at our chest .
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
We can open all our own jars.
If someone forgets to invite us, they are still our friend.
Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
We only have to shave our face.
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes are good for all seasons.
We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can trim our nails with a pocket knife.
We can Christmas shop for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Click to expand...
"A five day vacation only requires one suitcase"…I can relate to that more than I care to admit…a small to medium suitcase at that…for at least a week…lol
 
gman4691 said:
"A five day vacation only requires one suitcase"…I can relate to that more than I care to admit…a small to medium suitcase at that…for at least a week…lol
Click to expand...
When I invited my wife-to-be to my place for the first time she saw my open suitcase that I lived out of on the job and asked if I ever thought about unpacking it.
 
4hfarms said:
Vacation, ha! I don't even like to go to the city for the day.

Bad example, I hate the city...
Click to expand...
I have taken a few vacations. But I never go to a city while doing it. One of the last ones I took I spent 14 days. Went through Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, back through Idaho to Washington. The closest thing to a city I went to was Great Falls Montana. Stayed off the freeways and avoided the Cities. Only reason I went into Great Falls was because the Charles Russell museum is there.
 
Dave said:
I have taken a few vacations. But I never go to a city while doing it. One of the last ones I took I spent 14 days. Went through Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, back through Idaho to Washington. The closest thing to a city I went to was Great Falls Montana. Stayed off the freeways and avoided the Cities. Only reason I went into Great Falls was because the Charles Russell museum is there.
Click to expand...

Beautiful area up there. Stationed in Fort Lewis in the early 90s. Up to Canada or south to Portland. Didnt matter where I went. I once left Lewis on Friday night after midnight and drove to Chicago (grew up there) to see a friend and was back in formation Monday morning. Skied some of them hills out there too, lol. Great duty station, back then anyway. I loved to travel when I was younger. Loved to drive/ride anywhere I could. 45 states, 42 countries not all by choice....
Now, I'm a home body. I don't leave my property unless I have an appointment or need supplies. Why leave my favorite place?
 

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4hfarms said:
Beautiful area up there. Stationed in Fort Lewis in the early 90s. Up to Canada or south to Portland. Didnt matter where I went. I once left Lewis on Friday night after midnight and drove to Chicago (grew up there) to see a friend and was back in formation Monday morning. Skied some of them hills out there too, lol. Great duty station, back then anyway. I loved to travel when I was younger. Loved to drive/ride anywhere I could. 45 states, 42 countries not all by choice....
Now, I'm a home body. I don't leave my property unless I have an appointment or need supplies. Why leave my favorite place?
Click to expand...
I grew up in Puyallup. Close enough to Fort Lewis I could ride my bike out to the fort. I live about 20 miles south of Olympia for about 40 years. I retired in the spring of 2017. Got out of the area as quick as I could. My Dad said one day it will be one big city from the Canadian border to Portland. Not far from that now.
 
Dave said:
I grew up in Puyallup. Close enough to Fort Lewis I could ride my bike out to the fort. I live about 20 miles south of Olympia for about 40 years. I retired in the spring of 2017. Got out of the area as quick as I could. My Dad said one day it will be one big city from the Canadian border to Portland. Not far from that now.
Click to expand...

All the way to Eugene! :oops:
 

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