Daily Chuckle

[Travlr]

Notice the feet...

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyway ..... I had the Vet come and take a look at him. He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young.so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days ……. all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

 

[GoWyo]

I dunno. Three toes and horns . . .

 

[Lee VanRoss]

Notice the feet...

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyway ..... I had the Vet come and take a look at him. He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young.so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days ……. all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

You been hanging around graybeard?

 

[Travlr]

You been hanging around graybeard?

The guy that bought the bull, maybe...

 

[Lee VanRoss]

Just be careful if that peppermint kicks in..

 

[coachg]

Kept waiting on someone to say something about an overbite or is it an underbite ?( Sorry , the Devil made me do it . )

 

[greybeard]

A friend of mine has begun taking a lot of pictures of salmon dressed up in different little clothes.
Says he just likes shooting fish in apparel

 

[wbvs58]

You been hanging around graybeard?

And the moonshine.

Ken

 

[Lannie]

A friend of mine has begun taking a lot of pictures of salmon dressed up in different little clothes.
Says he just likes shooting fish in apparel

Oh, argh.

 

[greybeard]

 

[Warren Allison]

An 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."'
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."
Our needs change as we get older, and we tend to look for bargains

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[Rafter S]

An 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."'
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."
Our needs change as we get older, and we tend to look for bargains

That reminds me of one I heard about an old guy who was with some friends at Hooter's. One of them asked him which of the waitresses he'd like to be stuck in an elevator with. He replied "The one that knows how to fix elevators. I'm old, and I pee a lot."

 

[WFfarm]

Boss said: "you've been late to work three times this week, do you know what that means?"

Me: "...ugh, it's Wednesday?"

 

[Rafter S]

Boss said: "you've been late to work three times this week, do you know what that means?"

Me: "...ugh, it's Wednesday?"

I won't mention any names, but I know someone who has walked into work, gone to his supervisor's office, and proudly proclaimed "This is the earliest I've been late all week."

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[rollinhills]

That's not funny!! We don't need them here.

 

[coachg]

 

[coachg]

 

[Rafter S]

They're welcome to come to Texas too. We even have a song about it. I can't find a video of it, but here's a link to the lyrics: https://www.brianburnsmusic.com/song.php?songinfo=020114.