Daily Chuckle
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Son of Butch
Well-known member
Man, you guys fall for anything. Did your mothers inherit lifetime subscriptions of the Globe or the National Enquirer from grandma?
Last edited:
Nesikep
Well-known member
Lee VanRoss
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- Joined
- Apr 26, 2020
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In the interest of public decency I have banned Named'em for a week.
coachg
Well-known member
My father in law was a big Bama fan , he took his 4 cats to the vet and came home to inform me that Auburn vets didn't know where to take a temperature. I'm an Auburn fan so I informed him the vet knew exactly where to take a cat's temperature and also how to get in an Alabama fans billfold . One of the few times I got the best of him .
SBMF 2015
Well-known member
GoWyo
Well-known member
Bonsma might argue that is a sign of masculinity and a well-functioning endocrine system. Pretty is as pretty does . . .Sweet Jesus, I can't unsee that!!! I'm torn between
greybeard
Well-known member
I called my doctor and told him I broke my leg in 2 places.
He told me to stop going to those places...............
He told me to stop going to those places...............
Rafter S
Well-known member
When my father was at the doctor's office he raised his arm up until his elbow was higher than his shoulder. He told the doctor it hurt when he did that. The doctor's reply was "Well then don't do that."
Son of Butch
Well-known member
My uncle at thanksgiving: "Martha doesn't like it when I tell this story...
Aunt Martha: "Then don't tell it."
Aunt Martha: "Then don't tell it."
greybeard
Well-known member
An old man goes to the doc and tells him "I'm having trouble peein"
Doc:
"How old are you?"
"83"
Doc:
"Well, you've peed enough."
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wbvs58
Well-known member
True story, I asked an eye specialist about my double vision and her only suggestion was to close one eye.
Ken
Ken
Ouachita
Well-known member
When my Dad asked about the double vision, his eye doc told him the same thing, I guess trying to be funny. He was colorblind in his "given" eye.
Well, Dad only had one eye. The other was a cosmetic filler. That second eye was destroyed when he was 11yo, playing with blasting caps. He had a spare glass eye that I'd sneak out and take to "show and tell" when I was in grade school.
Dad also had a spare set of false teeth. I was the cool kid in kindergarten. If he had other spares laying around, or hidden, I'm unaware and grateful
Travlr
Well-known member
A priest sat on a step next to a drunk that was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to be more sympathetic, "How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to be more sympathetic, "How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
wbvs58
Well-known member
Ouachita
Well-known member
Knowing those "other things" might prove a good blueprint for your weekend plans.
Rafter S
Well-known member
I have one of the "Back Forty" calendars hanging on the bulletin board above my desk. This month's cartoon shows an old lady and her husband in a ragged old pickup. A patrolman has them pulled over, and the wife is saying "You darn tootin' I'm speeding! We got to get there before we forget where we're going!"
I have reached the age where this kinda makes sense.
I have reached the age where this kinda makes sense.
Travlr
Well-known member
I can relate...
