Nesikep
Well-known member
Being in australia I'd have suggested drinking a little less
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter D2Cat
- Start date
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greybeard
Well-known member
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes.
A house can't jump.
Vegan:
"That chicken you're eating had a family!"
Me:
"That's why I bought the family bucket. No one left behind"
Yes.
A house can't jump.
Vegan:
"That chicken you're eating had a family!"
Me:
"That's why I bought the family bucket. No one left behind"
greybeard
Well-known member
A big ass ricer wing adds 20 hp.......
greybeard
Well-known member
Sundays, for some people, always seem a little sad.
But the day before... is a sadder day.
What's Irish and stays outside all year?
Paddy O' Furniture.
But the day before... is a sadder day.
What's Irish and stays outside all year?
Paddy O' Furniture.
greybeard
Well-known member
I hate cliffhanger endings in books, stories or movies. So frustrating.
They just
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greybeard
Well-known member
Ouachita
Well-known member
That person needs to educate themselves about airfoils. If they're using it just to keep the trunk lid closed, it ain't working.
Ouachita
Well-known member
I'm going to make a conscious effort to keep up with GBs groaners.
Travlr
Well-known member
Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and a funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road.
One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"
To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married 40 years."
One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"
To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married 40 years."
greybeard
Well-known member
greybeard
Well-known member
What do you call a car with OCD ?
Arrange Rover
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My Chinese neighbors had waffles for breakfast yesterday.
Those bastards, I loved that cat.
-----------------------------------
What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.
I just started a support group for people with OCD.
We meet twenty times a day.
-----------------------------------
Apple has a new invention!
They have figured out a way to put speakers inside of silicone breast implants. They call it the "E-boob".
Now they have finally put an end to the age-old problem of women complaining that men stare at their boobs, but don't listen to them.
Arrange Rover
------------------------------------
My Chinese neighbors had waffles for breakfast yesterday.
Those bastards, I loved that cat.
-----------------------------------
What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.
I just started a support group for people with OCD.
We meet twenty times a day.
-----------------------------------
Apple has a new invention!
They have figured out a way to put speakers inside of silicone breast implants. They call it the "E-boob".
Now they have finally put an end to the age-old problem of women complaining that men stare at their boobs, but don't listen to them.
Travlr
Well-known member
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel
A realist sees an oncoming freight train
A freight train engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel
A realist sees an oncoming freight train
A freight train engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
greybeard
Well-known member
blondes?
coachg
Well-known member
JJColvin
Well-known member
The DOLPHIN TRAINER
An elderly man just nudges the rear end of an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the driver hops out of his car and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're gonna give me $10,000
right now or I'm gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!"
"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money. Let me
call my son, he trains dolphins and he'll know what to do."
"Dolphins?", the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son
answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just
rear ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I'm gonna beat you
AND your old man to a bloody pulp".
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and
proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the
side of the road.
When he's finished, he walks over to his father and says: "for the
LAST TIME Dad…. I train SEALS…. NAVY SEALS…. NOT dolphins"
An elderly man just nudges the rear end of an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the driver hops out of his car and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're gonna give me $10,000
right now or I'm gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!"
"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money. Let me
call my son, he trains dolphins and he'll know what to do."
"Dolphins?", the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son
answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just
rear ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I'm gonna beat you
AND your old man to a bloody pulp".
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and
proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the
side of the road.
When he's finished, he walks over to his father and says: "for the
LAST TIME Dad…. I train SEALS…. NAVY SEALS…. NOT dolphins"
