Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> > conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>
> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> > Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of
> "yonder."
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as
in:
> > "Going to town, be back directly."
> >
> > Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for
> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
> the middle of the table.
> >
> > All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use
the
> term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> > solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
> > chicken and a big bowl ! of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
> > trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> >
> > Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and
> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road"
can be 1
mile
> or 20.
> >
> > Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
> > between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> > No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> > A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb,
or an
> adverb.
> >
> > Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> > "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to
everybody!
> >
> > Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> > Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> > Southerners know grits come from corn ! and how to eat them.
> >
> > Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
> > food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> > When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know
you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> > Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea
> > indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> > unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> > And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
> > old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her
> heart" and go your own way.
> >
> > To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
> >
> > And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
> > all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are ! fixin'
> > to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> >
> > And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
> > long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
> > reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> > Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.
> > conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>
> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> > Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of
> "yonder."
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as
in:
> > "Going to town, be back directly."
> >
> > Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for
> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
> the middle of the table.
> >
> > All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use
the
> term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> > solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
> > chicken and a big bowl ! of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
> > trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> >
> > Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and
> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road"
can be 1
mile
> or 20.
> >
> > Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
> > between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> > No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> > A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb,
or an
> adverb.
> >
> > Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> > "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to
everybody!
> >
> > Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> > Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> > Southerners know grits come from corn ! and how to eat them.
> >
> > Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
> > food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> > When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know
you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> > Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea
> > indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> > unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> > And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
> > old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her
> heart" and go your own way.
> >
> > To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
> >
> > And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
> > all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are ! fixin'
> > to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> >
> > And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
> > long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
> > reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> > Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.