A True Southerner

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la4angus

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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> > conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>

> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> > Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of
> "yonder."
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as
in:
> > "Going to town, be back directly."
> >
> > Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for
> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
> the middle of the table.
> >
> > All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use
the
> term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> > solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
> > chicken and a big bowl ! of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
> > trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> >
> > Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and
> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road"
can be 1
mile
> or 20.
> >
> > Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
> > between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> > No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> > A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb,
or an
> adverb.
> >
> > Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> > "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to
everybody!
> >
> > Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> > Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> > Southerners know grits come from corn ! and how to eat them.
> >
> > Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
> > food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> > When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know
you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> > Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea
> > indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> > unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> > And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
> > old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her
> heart" and go your own way.
> >
> > To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
> >
> > And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
> > all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are ! fixin'
> > to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> >
> > And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
> > long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
> > reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> > Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.
 

Campground Cattle

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Good post I wondered when that new two wheel cycle came out (cann't remember the name) that was supposed to respond to your thoughts. I thought if they sold in the South they would have to be reprogrammed for over yonder and thataway.
 

D.R. Cattle

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Any 'Non Southerners" know what swamp cabbage is? How did we get to "initiate" when we should have said "and then she ate?" Are we just lazy talkers or do we appreciate our slang? And by the way my patience is running thin with Yankee drivers. Starting to have trouble with "Bless her heart." Especially when they cut you off and act like nothing happened when you are driving a crew cab F350 with a gooseneck load of cattle instead of a Hyundai. But then this area is probably about as bad as it gets for snowbird migration. Here's the best one: 99% of the Northerners like to migrate here and tell us all how much better it was up North. Of course this always initiates the response "Head North on I-95 till you get back." And the one I always appreciate, so many of them come and look for a "good ole boy" and ask "Where's the ocean" in that repulsive Northern accent. The simple reply is "Go East until your hat floats." I guess we gotta love em just the same. Gotta go feed the cows, be back directly.
 

A. delaGarza

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la4angus":1agnppl7 said:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl ! of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" n be 1
mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
Southerners know grits come from corn ! and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are ! fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.

It remebered me of all my friends in Southern and Northeastern Alabama.
God Bless America, God Bless the Southerners.
 

sillco

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la4angus":18tdf99l said:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> > conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>

> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> > Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of
> "yonder."
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as
in:
> > "Going to town, be back directly."
> >
> > Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for
> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
> the middle of the table.
> >
> > All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use
the
> term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> > Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> > solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
> > chicken and a big bowl ! of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
> > trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> >
> > Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and
> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road"
can be 1
mile
> or 20.
> >
> > Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
> > between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> > No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn
> signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> > A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb,
or an
> adverb.
> >
> > Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> > "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to
everybody!
> >
> > Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> > Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> > Southerners know grits come from corn ! and how to eat them.
> >
> > Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are
> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
> > food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> > When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know
you
> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> > Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea
> > indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> > unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> > And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
> > old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her
> heart" and go your own way.
> >
> > To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
> morning. Bless your heart!
> >
> > And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
> > all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are ! fixin'
> > to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> >
> > And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
> > long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
> > reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> > Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.

This reminds how much I long to be back down South. I am going home to Shreveport for Mother's day. While I am there my daughter may give birth to my fourth grand child, a boy. He isn't due until the 28th of April, I may have to extend my visit.
 

TLCfromARK

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Here's are some translations of words we use down south for our friends up north.ANY GOOD SOUTH'NER WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN PEACHES
> > WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD BELOW!
> >
> > The Association of Southern Schools has decided to
> > pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar
> > pipeline through Washington designating Southern
> > slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in
> > all Southern schools. The following are excerpts
> > from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.
> >
> > 1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
> >
> > 2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of
> > greeting.
> > Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"
> >
> > 3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive
> > "to borrow."
> > Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
> >
> > 4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida.
> > Capitol is Lanner.
> > Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup
> > truck and took it to Lanner."
> >
> > 5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh.
> > Capitol is Berminhayam.
> > Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an'
> > left $20,000,000 in improvements."
> >
> > 6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
> > Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup
> > truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
> >
> > 7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
> > Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
> >
> > 8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of
> > barley, hops, and yeast.
> > Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
> >
> > 9.) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas
> > native."
> > Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
> >
> > 10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
> > Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of
> > that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few
> > munts ago."
> >
> > 11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
> > Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh
> > puts all in my pickup truck."
> >
> > 12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
> > Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change
> > the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch
> > far."
> >
> > 13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
> > Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from
> > Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
> >
> > 14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
> > Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't
> > rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
> > Paris sometime."
> >
> > 15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
> > Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
> >
> > 16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to
> > engage in battle or combat.
> > Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm
> > gonna whup y'uh."
> >
> > 17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
> > Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for
> > are rats."
> >
> > 18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
> > Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".
> >
> > 19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
> > Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed
> > ... must be from some farn country."
> >
> > 20.) DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
> > Usage: "He's did, Jim."
> >
> > 21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas
> > containing oxygen.
> > Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some
> > ARE!"
> >
> > 22.) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
> > Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war
> > fence."
> >
> > 23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
> > Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh
> > got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
> >
> > 24.) HAZE a contraction.
> > Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze
> > ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
> >
> > 25.) SEED -(verb) - past tense of "to see."
> > Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City".
> >
> > 26.) VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
> > Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ...
> > view?"
> >
> > 27.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
> > Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
>
 

jfont

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LA, good post I enjoyed the read, but did you know some people are ashame of being from the south or at least the way we talk. They say the southern accent makes them sound dumb and more difficult to move up in the buisness world. This is no bull, I saw an advertisement for a school called " Get the South out of your Mouth" loose your southern accent in 30 days. Can you believe people would pay money for this? I think if a man isn't proud of who he is to start off with, he wont be much of a success no matter what he does.
 

A. delaGarza

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jfont":39dcr3fb said:
LA, good post I enjoyed the read, but did you know some people are ashame of being from the south or at least the way we talk. They say the southern accent makes them sound dumb and more difficult to move up in the buisness world. This is no bull, I saw an advertisement for a school called " Get the South out of your Mouth" loose your southern accent in 30 days. Can you believe people would pay money for this? I think if a man isn't proud of who he is to start off with, he wont be much of a success no matter what he does.
I have some friends in Alabama and it isn't to be ashame of your accents the thing is that people like me, slow understanders, struggle a couple of hours to began understanding your talking accent.
 
OP
la4angus

la4angus

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jfont":2wvzisgc said:
LA, good post I enjoyed the read, but did you know some people are ashame of being from the south or at least the way we talk. They say the southern accent makes them sound dumb and more difficult to move up in the buisness world. This is no bull, I saw an advertisement for a school called " Get the South out of your Mouth" loose your southern accent in 30 days. Can you believe people would pay money for this? I think if a man isn't proud of who he is to start off with, he wont be much of a success no matter what he does.
Jason
I have worked and lived in 18 states and have had clients from all over the US of A and several foriegn countries. Most of my best friends are in the West and Midwest. One person that I did work for
was the daughter of a man that was at one time the 5th wealthiest man in the US of A. Several others names are well known in the cattle industry world wide. One client was the largest independent cattle producer in the world. Another was an officer of one of the largest banks in Austria.The only people that I had any trouble with, was some that would have liked to be where I was. What I am saying is, don't think that your southern accent can stop you from getting to where you want to be if you have the ability to get to where you want to be.
 

jfont

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la4angus":1ck3v6qb said:
jfont":1ck3v6qb said:
LA, good post I enjoyed the read, but did you know some people are ashame of being from the south or at least the way we talk. They say the southern accent makes them sound dumb and more difficult to move up in the buisness world. This is no bull, I saw an advertisement for a school called " Get the South out of your Mouth" loose your southern accent in 30 days. Can you believe people would pay money for this? I think if a man isn't proud of who he is to start off with, he wont be much of a success no matter what he does.
Jason
I have worked and lived in 18 states and have had clients from all over the US of A and several foriegn countries. Most of my best friends are in the West and Midwest. One person that I did work for
was the daughter of a man that was at one time the 5th wealthiest man in the US of A. Several others names are well known in the cattle industry world wide. One client was the largest independent cattle producer in the world. Another was an officer of one of the largest banks in Austria.The only people that I had any trouble with, was some that would have liked to be where I was. What I am saying is, don't think that your southern accent can stop you from getting to where you want to be if you have the ability to get to where you want to be.
I think you're misunderstanding me, personaly I'm not ashamed or feeling held back in any way by the way I talk, but some people must be if someone actually made up a class to change the way people talk.
 
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la4angus

la4angus

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Jason wrote "quote" {I think you're misunderstanding me, personaly I'm not ashamed or feeling held back in any way by the way I talk, but some people must be if someone actually made up a class to change the way people talk.}

I am not misunderstanding you. I knoow exactly what you are saying. Some people being helld back because of their lack of ability. Not because of their accent. Every area of the country has an accent except for the South. Did you ever try to understand what a person from Boston, Mass. is saying. They have more of an accent than the British.
Whoever made up the class that you are talking about is probaly someone from out of the south that couldn't make a living in the South or elsewhere and blamed it on his/her Southern accent. Chances it was their
lack of ability.
 

A. delaGarza

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la4angus":2ouxvmyl said:
Jason wrote "quote" {I think you're misunderstanding me, personaly I'm not ashamed or feeling held back in any way by the way I talk, but some people must be if someone actually made up a class to change the way people talk.}

I am not misunderstanding you. I knoow exactly what you are saying. Some people being helld back because of their lack of ability. Not because of their accent. Every area of the country has an accent except for the South. Did you ever try to understand what a person from Boston, Mass. is saying. They have more of an accent than the British.
Whoever made up the class that you are talking about is probaly someone from out of the south that couldn't make a living in the South or elsewhere and blamed it on his/her Southern accent. Chances it was their
lack of ability.

not just Southerners have an accent, have you heard a real texan talk? Howdy my friend :)
 
A

Anonymous

The most accent comes from them New Englanders. Texans don't have an accent. They talk normal.
 

arrowhunter

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Here's my take, I live way up north, hell I never even been down south. But we have a USAF base here and we have people from all over the US. I gotta tell ya, those girls with that "southern accent" are sexy!! ;-) . You Reb's are all right by me. I even try to put a little southern drawl in when I read your posts!! (just kiddin')
 

ollie

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I have a friend who is from Iowa and now lives in the south. When he goes back the coffey shop boys tease him by saying , how are you getting along with them slow thinking hillbillies. He told them that he could just move one of those slow overall wearing hillbillies into that county in Iowa and in 60 days they would all be working his land!!!
 

Campground Cattle

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ollie":1p3ap2as said:
I have a friend who is from Iowa and now lives in the south. When he goes back the coffey shop boys tease him by saying , how are you getting along with them slow thinking hillbillies. He told them that he could just move one of those slow overall wearing hillbillies into that county in Iowa and in 60 days they would all be working his land!!!

Slow thinking and talkin two different things let them boys from states of Nortern aggression keep thinking that way. Where I'm from we call that the fox is guarding the chicken coop.
 

fit2btied

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I have a sister-in-law that was born and raised in Missouri. She moved to Memphis, TN when she was 25 and within 2 months had developed a drawl that even the Southerners make fun of! We haven't heard her use a one-syllable word in the last 20 years! :D
 

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