Unsolicited "expert" advice

[Chuckie]

I was trying at first to understand why he talked to her at all. Then you mentioned the child they had together. The child is speaking lovingly about you and it is eating her up.

Your husband needs to stay on friendly terms only because of the son. But needs to cut the cord on the cattle issue. Surely he is laughing and making jokes about what she says when he tells you these things.

I would say that your husband needs to discourage the conversations.

When she starts telling him what to do, he just needs to say
"My darling wife already has that figured out or she did that a month ago."

By the way, we have banded calves much older than that. They acted like they never felt it, never went off of feed and continued to gain weight.
Chuckie

 

[alabama]

Well Let us know how it went.
Were any of the following involved in the solution?
Divorce
Restraining order
Hydrogen peroxide
Locks changed
Blue lights
Hugging and kissing
Bags packed
Moving vans
Ect ect ect

 

[MikeC]

Well Let us know how it went.
Were any of the following involved in the solution?
Divorce
Restraining order
Hydrogen peroxide
Locks changed
Blue lights
Hugging and kissing
Bags packed
Moving vans
Ect ect ect

I'd like to add one:

Switchblade knives?

 

[livestock101]

Obviously your husband still has the "Hots" for this woman as she does for him.

She's using the cattle as an excuse to call him........

I would hire a private investigator and have him and her followed for a few months.

I hope you don't think I'm "instigating". :lol:

Sorry, but I tend to think there's a little validity to this comment. Why on earth is your husband still chit-chatting with her? No! No! No!

I'm divorced, with children and all, my I repeat ALL I speak to my husband about is the children. If he attempts to do any chit-chatting, I remind him that we are discussing the children and only the children. My current husband totally agrees. The previous marriage is over. There's no need to discuss anything other than children (if you had them together) and then move on.

What it comes down to is your husband is allowing her to become part of YOUR marriage. He needs to put his foot down, put you first and put her in her place.

 

[dun]

Well Let us know how it went.
Were any of the following involved in the solution?
Divorce
Restraining order
Hydrogen peroxide
Locks changed
Blue lights
Hugging and kissing
Bags packed
Moving vans
Ect ect ect

I'd like to add one:

Switchblade knives?

Don;t forget bander mis-use

 

[flaboy?]

Maybe someone has been thinking :?: menage-a-trois

 

[MikeC]

Maybe someone has been thinking :?: menage-a-trois

Yes I have. Just didn't know how to spell it. :roll:

You must be clairavoyant (sp)?

Can't believe it, I thought about this before walking in the door this morning.........................................

 

[Chris H]

Simple solution. If she starts talking about anything other than your husbands child while you are around, excuse yourself. If your husband doesn't know how to shut her up without ticking her off, ask him to not repeat anything she says unless it's important info about his kid. He may listen to her and say 'uh huh, uh huh' just to keep her civil, but he does not have to repeat it to you. You may have to remind your husband you don't want to hear what she has to say. He may think she's being ridiculous, or maybe even helpful; no matter the reason, just repeat you don't want to hear anything other than important info about the kid.

 

[Cabo]

Does this qualify for Jerry Springer or Oprah?

 

[dun]

Does this qualify for Jerry Springer or Oprah?

More like Heraldo. At least someone may get a broken nose from the deal

 

[Crowderfarms]

We went down to Nashville the other night to a French restaurant, and I tried to order a Menage de Twah, All I got was a plate full of slimy Snails that was still crawlin'.

Anyone got any suggestions how I could get one of them real "Pile Ups" Maybe I'll go Meskin next time and order a Manage de' Cinco?

 

[flaboy?]

We went down to Nashville the other night to a French restaurant, and I tried to order a Menage de Twah, All I got was a plate full of slimy Snails that was still crawlin'.

Anyone got any suggestions how I could get one of them real "Pile Ups" Maybe I'll go Meskin next time and order a Manage de' Cinco?

It must have been in your enunciation of the phrase. They let the french have restaurants in Tennessee? :lol:

 

[BC]

I understand your problem. My wife's ex is a bum. The kids they had together think he hung the moon. For the sake of the son, be a better person and just smile. Do this or you will be considered the jerk. Ignore the advice. You and your spouse do your cattle business like you se fit. They are your animals.

 

[Victoria]

Okay, I know I'm new at this and I know enough to know there's a lot I don't know (you know?). Anyway, my husband's ex-wife's boyfriend (yeah, laugh it up) has been raising cattle for several years. How many years, I don't know. What kind of cattle - all they'll tell me is they're "show" cattle. Okay, whatever.

So, here's the thing. She keeps calling my husband to give "advice" on our cattle. Telling him just how much hay we'll need to buy and how often our cattle are going to get out and on and on. Her boyfriend has given her half his herd to manage and so she seems to think she knows a lot now. I do NOTHING without researching it to death and asking lots of questions as I go along. I figure and refigure feed costs, check and double-check my fencing, read and read some more, etc. And, in many cases, I just learn from experience. So, I'd like to consider myself fairly educated in this arena, though still very green.

This is the kicker. She called the other day and during the course of the conversation mentioned that my stepson had told her I was getting ready to band the bull calves. She says to my husband, and I quote, "You need to double-check the age of those calves before you band them. It might be considered cruelty to animals if they're too old." :shock:

She said this advice came from her boyfriend. These people have both seen my calves. These are the ones:

These pictures were taken about four weeks ago. Too old to band??? Am I missing something here? If not, at what point do I tell her to take her "advice" elsewhere?

I read an article that Europe is talking about banning banding all together because they have decided that it is cruelty to animals. Maybe your husbands ex read the same thing. They are still allowing the knife and bardizzos (sp?) for now although the goal is to make castration done under anesthetic only. Over there they have agreed that banding is the cruelest form of castration. We have only banded one calf the rest have been burdizzo. From what I could tell the banded one took longer to get over the experience but they may have just been him. I don't have enough experience with it to say either way. There's a lot of people out there that treat their animals well that use the band method.

As far as his ex goes, you knew he had an ex when you married him. I doubt it is a new thing that she is getting in his (and therefore your) business. It just one of the problems of divorce. You can tell her that you don't want her advice but I doubt it will do any good. I do feel for you, unless you were the cause of his first marriage splitting up of course. ;-) They are your cattle legally and since the US law still says you can band them then band them if you want to. Just because she tells you her advice doesn't mean you have to listen to it.

 

[dun]

They are still allowing the knife and bardizzos (sp?) for now although the goal is to make castration done under anesthetic only.

I htought it was already required in the EU. Got that impression a couple of years ago. Maybe they were just trying to get it made the law at the time.

 

[Lammie]

We went down to Nashville the other night to a French restaurant, and I tried to order a Menage de Twah, All I got was a plate full of slimy Snails that was still crawlin'.

Anyone got any suggestions how I could get one of them real "Pile Ups" Maybe I'll go Meskin next time and order a Manage de' Cinco?

It must have been in your enunciation of the phrase. They let the french have restaurants in Tennessee? :lol:

"Chez Bubba"

 

[USMCRanchGirl]

Wow, lots to reply to. Let's see ...

He's got three kids with the ex, ages 8, 12 and 16 (plus my 10 and 11-yr-olds). We have the oldest with us full-time and she has the two younger ones and they live just a mile up the road. We swap the kids back and forth on weekends so the kids get to spend time together with both parents.

As far as me interrupting her or walking away from the conversation, like I said she doesn't speak to me. He lets her ramble on the occasions that she is being polite because a) it's a change of pace for her not to be yelling and b) it helps in keeping things calm for the kids. The 12-yr-old is already dreading going home to mom's house when she's been with us (the 16-yr-old did the same thing at that age, hence the reason he lives with us) and I don't think it will be much longer before the two younger ones come to live with us. Hubby tries to keep the peace the best he can simply for the kids.

As far as the menage a tois thing goes - oh, EEWWWW!!! Her personality and attitude alone make her ugly on the outside. Thanks for the ugly image - I need to bang my head against the wall now.

Yes, the ex hates me and has never taken the opportunity to know me. Unfortunately, it spills over to the way she talks about me to the kids but the kids and I all get along very well. You're right about the fact that if they say something nice about me, she shoots it down - so they try to avoid the conversations all together.

I have always been polite and will continue to do so until she one day gets the cajones to approach me directly. Then all bets are off. You're darn right to place your money on the Marine!

Back to the calves - I think my only real concern with banding them would be if they go off feed. I figured best to do it now before they are weaned to reduce that possibility. They weren't steered when we bought them at auction and I didn't want to inflict that stress on them immediately after moving them, so I think now's the time. I never considered her comments as valid, but sometimes being new at something you have a tendency to second-guess yourself. I'll go with my gut from now on - it's seemed to work out well so far!

Thanks everyone!

 

[USMCRanchGirl]

They are still allowing the knife and bardizzos (sp?) for now although the goal is to make castration done under anesthetic only.

I htought it was already required in the EU. Got that impression a couple of years ago. Maybe they were just trying to get it made the law at the time.

This is what I found:

In the United Kingdom, regulations require that animals older than two months be castrated by a veterinarian, using local anesthesia. Use of the Burdizzo clamp has been the most common approach in the United Kingdom, followed by surgical castration, then application of rubber rings. By law an anaesthetic must be used when calves older than one week are castrated by the rubber ring method.

In contrast, use of elastrator rings is common in New Zealand, and application of the Burdizzo clamp is not. Anesthesia and analgesia are mandated for castration in Northern Europe. Castration of male calves and small ruminants is not allowed in Switzerland without anesthesia, and use of rubber rings is prohibited.

Interesting.

 

[Arnold Ziffle]

Karin, thanks for starting what has been a fun thread to read. I haven't read all of it, but just in case it has not been mentioned, keep in mind that the older and larger the calves are when you band, the more it is advisable to give them tetanus toxoid shots (a while before banding or at the time of, and then a while afterwards). And you might tell your husband to inform the wench that in connection with their various research projects the MARC folks have banded bulls weighing 1,000 or more without too much in the way of problems.

 

[USMCRanchGirl]

Karin, thanks for starting what has been a fun thread to read. I haven't read all of it, but just in case it has not been mentioned, keep in mind that the older and larger the calves are when you band, the more it is advisable to give them tetanus toxoid shots (a while before banding or at the time of, and then a while afterwards).

Thank you. That is something I have been thinking about. Their weight, combined with the heat, would be the main factors to consider the most in whether to administer the shot, correct? I generally don't like to give anything unless it's really necessary, but is there any harm in giving tetanus regardless of timing just to be on the safe side? We're banding this weekend and it's supposed to be 90 and dry.