The Top 16 Things a *Real* 12 yr old wizard would do

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Well-known member
Jan 21, 2006
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My little patch of earth, Perth, WA, Australia
Recieved this by email and thought it wasnt too bad ... reference to Harry Potter in case you missed it.

The Top 16 Things a *Real*
12 Year Old Wizard Would Do

Turn that owl into a Hooters waitress

Change Mom into supermodel Heidi Klum, but only for a few seconds at a time. Drive Dad nuts!

Screw thumbtacks -- put a T-Rex in the teacher's chair!

Use mystical powers to get school teacher Mary Kay LeTourneau to sleep with you. Then again, regular kid powers might do the trick.

Bring about world peace -- through brutal domination with his minions of large-breasted, booger-firing KoolAidMan-bots

Grow pubes

Make sure he doesn't develop carpal tunnel from spending too much time "polishing the magic wand"

Dad's salary: $54,000; Young wizard's allowance: $212,000

Replace quavery voice with authoritative James Earl Jones version. For that matter, why stop at the voice?

In the middle of the concert, impress his friends by casting a "Britney Blouse Removal" spell

Brussels sprouts turn into s'mores the second they hit the plate.

Figure out the best place to put the baseball cards in a broom to make cool motor sounds

Emergency Embarrassing Erection Elimination

Try not to tarnish his reputation. (Oops! That's what a 38-year old Wizard coming out of retirement would do!)

Perform a widespread "nylon-to-cotton-candy" transformation at the girls' swim meet

and the Number 1 Thing a *Real* 12 Year Old Wizard Would Do...

"I wish I were big -- and not the Tom Hanks kind of big, but the Tommy Lee kind of big."

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