Symptoms of Asperger syndrome

[cross_7]

I agree JS I see no benefit in knowing as a child
I began to realize something was amiss in HS and social anxiety became a real issue as was anger issues.
I suffered because no one realized I had a problem and the solution was to teach me a lesson
All that did was anger me even more. I would retaliate and they would increase the punishment
I needed someone in my life that understood and someone to mentor me, but that person didn't become a part my life until my father in law came along and showed me the way to live, not impose his will, but talked to like a friend and lead by example

The reason I say this is as he gets older he'll realize on his own something isn't right
Once you're aware of the problem it makes is easier to work with
Social interaction is a problem for most, but can improve with work

I haven't worked in the office for 10 years and I can name off phone numbers and account numbers for customers I haven't seen since I left the office
Numbers and math are a breeze as is memory, so it's not all bad
It's learning to deal with others, learning social skills and anger management and learning to be less intense

 

[branguscowgirl]

I agree JS I see no benefit in knowing as a child
I began to realize something was amiss in HS and social anxiety became a real issue as was anger issues.
I suffered because no one realized I had a problem and the solution was to teach me a lesson
All that did was anger me even more. I would retaliate and they would increase the punishment
I needed someone in my life that understood and someone to mentor me, but that person didn't become a part my life until my father in law came along and showed me the way to live, not impose his will, but talked to like a friend and lead by example

The reason I say this is as he gets older he'll realize on his own something isn't right
Once you're aware of the problem it makes is easier to work with
Social interaction is a problem for most, but can improve with work

I haven't worked in the office for 10 years and I can name off phone numbers and account numbers for customers I haven't seen since I left the office
Numbers and math are a breeze as is memory, so it's not all bad
It's learning to deal with others, learning social skills and anger management and learning to be less intense

You have shared some very helpful information Cross!

 

[regolith]

I think you're leaning in the right direction JSCattle.
That book I threw across the room would actually be a good one for you to read. There will be more like it that you can access, that explain the differences in the brain and give advice on handling specific behaviours and helping the child fit in better.
For me, it just triggered a whole heap of memories where that identical behaviour resulted in punishment, & I'm in agreement with cross, that is not helpful.

I don't take the view that Asperger's is a 'disability' of any sort, it's a "difference", one that both gives and takes away... everything has its pros and cons.

Social interaction is a problem for most, but can improve with work

I agree with that too. I choose to limit stress as much as possible, but another person might choose to push themselves out more in terms of interacting with people because the more you do, the easier it will become and the better you will get at it. Same old pros and cons - you can improve social skills, but by starting with such a handicap the child suffers a great deal more stress in the process than a normal child.

 

[denvermartinfarms]

I've never heard of this but I'm sure I have it. I can do math in my head figuring weight and cost when buying calves as there selling. I can remember everything other than short term stuff that's recent.

But I have no patience for people, I am not personable, I don't talk much and I am not social in any way at all.

 

[greybeard]

When the list of symptoms starts with "above average intelligence" I always assume I have the condition described.

Did you happen to grow up in Lake Wobegon Mn?
They claim all their women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

 

[Ouachita]

When the list of symptoms starts with "above average intelligence" I always assume I have the condition described.

Did you happen to grow up in Lake Wobegon Mn?
They claim all their women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Having been there on several occasions I can witness these facts;
1) The women are strong.
2) I didn't notice anything else except the weather.

 

[cross_7]

JS I would also like to add the social awkwardness can trigger unbearable anxiety
The mental anguish can overwhelming
There was a time when suicide was a real option
Not just a passing thought but planned out exactly how and where
So just be aware and don't apply too much pressure
Lots of times the replaying the event over and over again in your head is as bad or worse than the live event
The there is anger issues
After getting g in enough trouble for fighting
The solution for me was fight or flight
I'd try to leave but if I couldn't the fight was on
There was no such thing as verbal dispute, it was 0 to 60 in a heartbeat
At times I would become a very angry and blackout, it was beyond my control
But with work it can be managed
It's a little at a time and little better each time

 

[Isomade]

I had Ass-Burgers one time but that is a whole 'nother story. I'd really rather not discuss it.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Dammit Steve, you bout made me wake the kids. I laughed out loud on that one.

 

[inyati13]

JS I would also like to add the social awkwardness can trigger unbearable anxiety
The mental anguish can overwhelming
There was a time when suicide was a real option
Not just a passing thought but planned out exactly how and where
So just be aware and don't apply too much pressure
Lots of times the replaying the event over and over again in your head is as bad or worse than the live event
The there is anger issues
After getting g in enough trouble for fighting
The solution for me was fight or flight
I'd try to leave but if I couldn't the fight was on
There was no such thing as verbal dispute, it was 0 to 60 in a heartbeat
At times I would become a very angry and blackout, it was beyond my control
But with work it can be managed
It's a little at a time and little better each time

cross_7,
The serious nature of this subject is reason we as users on CT should avoid making comments about another users mental condition. I understand that users do not do it out of malice but to obtain a measure of retribution for the action of another user. I have done it myself. 99% of the time it is harmless. But if another user struggles with something like this, even another straw thrown on their back is not helpful.

Just so everyone knows, I am completely sound of mind and body. Call me and treat me however you want to. I will not react, however, I might take it out on Blue. Do you really want that on your conscience???

cross_7, thanks for having the courage to share this. Hope the line of humor provides a smile.

 

[chippie]

Cross 7,
Thank you for sharing about yourself.
It has touched my family also. I appreciate your insight, it has helped me to understand the condition much better.

 

[cross_7]

As regolith stated it's not a handicap
It made for a very difficult childhood but work it can be easier
As an adult I am the face of the company I rep for
I go into places of business and talk to owners, managers and etc everyday

Once you learn to deal with the anxiety and read people body language it's not an issue 99% of the time

I would say most people I meet would never know
People I've know for years would never suspect anything

But as a child it's a long road

 

[JSCATTLE]

Thank you cross for sharing your story . As a parent it hurts to see this happen to a child . We do our best to keep him positive,but I have seen events happen that we're no big deal but the more he talks about it the worse he thinks it was . It makes it difficult when he comes home from school with a story of bullying or something that a teacher said . My first reaction is set up a meeting and get to the bottom of it but in most cases its blown up in his mind by the time he gets home from school. I've started recording his melt downs and at a later time showing him and talking to him about it . Explaining that this isn't how you act . It seems to be helping . He had a few melt downs at his basketball game because he wasn't starting . I told him his coach wasn't gonna allow him to play with a bad additude .i ask the coach not to let him play . That week we talked to him everyday about how important it is to act right . Then the next b ball game he didn't pitch a fit coach let him play . So with him I've learned to show him his mistakes not just get on to him about it . He has come along way but I know how it feels to be picked on . I was picked on as a child and very shy . But sports and being a salesman/ self employed has helped me . Now ill try to sell ice to an Eskimo lol. I'm just glad we caught it and can help . So many people go through life not knowing .

 

[cross_7]

I read this earlier but didn't know how to respond
There is no courage, no shame
As someone said nobody knows how dumb you are until you tell
It's humility and being honest without a puffed up self worth
I'll match wits with anyone. I'm certainly not any greater than anyone else but I'm not less than eithir
It's easy to form an image of yourself but that image maybe far different from someone else's perspective without honesty

To judge someone based on their ability to associate socially is as absurd as judging someone based on looks, physical abilities such as how fast they run or high they can jump
It has no bearing on the persons abilities in other areas

If a person is to be judged he should be judged at the game of life

 

[branguscowgirl]

Cross, you have done a good thing by sharing your experiences and educating many about Asperger Syndrome. Thank you for your insight.

 

[Bigfoot]

Js,

I know sympathy is not what you want, but I have a huge soft spot for kids. I can't help but feel sympathy for your son, and your situation. When our children hurt, we hurt. I have very very little first hand knowledge of asperger syndrome. A young man has came to our horse camp/bible school the last two summers in a row that has it. He and I have taken a special likening to each other. I saw a marked difference in his interaction from summer '12 to summer '13. He should be about twelve this summer. Perhaps like cross7, and this young man time will help the side affects.

 

[cross_7]

Thank you cross for sharing your story . As a parent it hurts to see this happen to a child . We do our best to keep him positive,but I have seen events happen that we're no big deal but the more he talks about it the worse he thinks it was . It makes it difficult when he comes home from school with a story of bullying or something that a teacher said . My first reaction is set up a meeting and get to the bottom of it but in most cases its blown up in his mind by the time he gets home from school. I've started recording his melt downs and at a later time showing him and talking to him about it . Explaining that this isn't how you act . It seems to be helping . He had a few melt downs at his basketball game because he wasn't starting . I told him his coach wasn't gonna allow him to play with a bad additude .i ask the coach not to let him play . That week we talked to him everyday about how important it is to act right . Then the next b ball game he didn't pitch a fit coach let him play . So with him I've learned to show him his mistakes not just get on to him about it . He has come along way but I know how it feels to be picked on . I was picked on as a child and very shy . But sports and being a salesman/ self employed has helped me . Now ill try to sell ice to an Eskimo lol. I'm just glad we caught it and can help . So many people go through life not knowing .

The social anxiety is tough and it's a never ending battle

It seems your dealing with anger issues which is much easier
Being extremely intense and focused is a characteristic
Throw in sports and the tremendous expectations you have for yourself and there will be melt downs and fits if rage
The good thing it's therapeutic and gives you the opportunity to learn to control it
When your aware of it and have someone to help you deal with it
Punishment doesn't work, it just feeds the fire and they are more intense that you can imagine
Hatred and hostility will rise up and that's a no win situation
But being there to help and. "Coach " them and stay positive and helping them to understand
Helping them set realistic goals and lower expectations for themselves helps
Unless your Pete Rose
I really believe Pete and others like have it as well
I won't go into detail but you become obsessed with certain things and will not quit until you achieve it, no matter what you can't stop it
That's good and bad
As is remembering things. Read it and it's there to access later, but something's you wish you'd forget
It's a battle but with help and understanding it can be less difficult
Trying to impose your will and win through force and punishment is a losing situation
I've wondered how many kids are in juvenile detention centers because if the way they've been handled

 

[JSCATTLE]

Bigfoot thanks for the kind words . I'm the same way about children . I can't stand for one to get hurt or be picked on with or without a disability . Cross 7 I think with time and as you said coaching we can overcome this . The funny thing about it is if you didn't know what aspergers was or the signs you couldn't tell he has it . And he's actually never been tested so he may or may not officially have it . But being his parents we know he's different even from his brother . I've been working with him on eye contact and he's actually doing well with being in social settings he will go play with other kids at gatherings and parties. The main thing we need to work on is he can't tell when someone isn't interested in a topic he's talking about . He just keeps going even though they try to change the subject . I noticed early on that punishment didn't help him . He learns and understands more by me just talking to him than by taking away toys or grounding him . I'm posting this with the hope it's helpful to some other family that might not understand what's going on with their child.

 

[inyati13]

I read this earlier but didn't know how to respond
There is no courage, no shame
As someone said nobody knows how dumb you are until you tell
It's humility and being honest without a puffed up self worth
I'll match wits with anyone. I'm certainly not any greater than anyone else but I'm not less than eithir
It's easy to form an image of yourself but that image maybe far different from someone else's perspective without honesty

To judge someone based on their ability to associate socially is as absurd as judging someone based on looks, physical abilities such as how fast they run or high they can jump
It has no bearing on the persons abilities in other areas

If a person is to be judged he should be judged at the game of life

cross, Put anyone in the hands of a psychiatrist and they are going to find a mental syndrome. Best fortunes to you.

 

[TexasBred]

If a person is to be judged he should be judged at the game of life

cross, Put anyone in the hands of a psychiatrist and they are going to find a mental syndrome. Best fortunes to you.[/quote]

Why else would you go to one and what else would you expect? Cross apparently has some self diagnosed problems but he's a big boy and will be ok. If not....he// just change the diagnosis and pronounce yourself healed. :nod:

 

[highgrit]

I thought everyone had problems. As a kid you don't know that your different from most of the kids. I don't know what I had as a kid , but it's not much better as a grown man. You do the best that you can for your kids, but in the end it's up to them how they turn out. Most people figure it out by the time there 21, the ones that don't God Bless them cause they're going to need him.