Regional or Universal Quotables

[KANSAS]

I travel alot for work and it seems that wherever I go the local folks have specific sayings that are used in their region. I always find great humor in these, and was wondering if some of you folks would be willing to share some of yours.

This is a saying my grandfather used to say. "I am busier than a ten peckered goat." Dont really know what that means, but it still makes me laugh.

Or a more common one.

"Its colder than a witches tit in a brass bra."

Thanks in advance for any of your contributions...

 

[Alice]

"I am busier than a ten peckered goat."

You realldon't know what that means?!!!!

My daddy used to say, "You need that like a hog needs a side saddle."

Alice

 

[KANSAS]

Do I really know what it means... Yeah I got a pretty good idea...

"Worthless as tits on a boar hog" is one I used alot when I lived in Texas.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Busier than a Cat coverin' up crap in a litter box.

 

[VanC]

My Dad used to always say "Sh#t or get off the pot!"

 

[llcupit]

Moves slower than cold molasses.

 

[Angus Guy]

Colder than well digger's a$$

If they're going to jump in the lake are you?

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

Come on boy get the lead out.

 

[Susie David]

Grandma used to say that a man could get use to $hite under his hat band if he wore it long enough....so quit compalining!

Grandpa told us boys that when he died he wanted to have his hide tanned and made into a woman's saddle.
That way he would always be between the two things he loved most in life.
Of course he was the same man that admired a good turd- squeezer on a gal.

That boy couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. Grandma.

Just my two bits worth....DMc

 

[docgraybull]

Here are a few I remember (and occasionally use):

Happier than a pig in s#!(.
Busier than a one legged man in an a$$kicking contest.
Busier than a 3 legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond.
Uglier than a mud fence.
Fat as a town dog.
The only exercise I get is jumping to conclusions.
A horse that runs "fast enough to make your eyes water".
Cornier than a tortilla.
Crazier than a run over dog.
Tough as boot leather.
Nuttier than a fruitcake.
Mad as a wet hen.
Someone who is cracking some good wisecracks is said to be so sharp that they "must have had razorblade soup for breakfast".

 

[dun]

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

My favorite: the more you stir it the more it stinks

dun

 

[Ryder]

Call in the dogs and pi$$ on the fire.

Knock out the lights and call the law.

That dog wont hunt.

Nervous as a whore (lady of the evening) in church.

 

[KenB]

Slicker then snot on a door nob.

Madder than a wet hen.

Don't make me open a can of whoop a$$.

If you can't hunt with the big dogs stay on the porch.

to many cooks spoil the broth.

Dumb as a rock.

 

[memanpa]

slicker than snot on a door knob

happier than a hog in shite

sight for sore eyes

 

[cagle520]

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thang!!!

 

[vbd]

you gonna fish or cut bait

hotter than a 44 shootin uphill

that's neater than sliced bread

he's worse off than a broke "be nice" dog

 

[mitchwi]

My husbands favorite - (especially when the kids are wanting something)

wish in one hand and $hit in the other and see which fills up fastest.

Michele

 

[Proverbs 12:10]

I need to pi$$ like pet coon!

 

[backhoeboogie]

Raining like cow pi$$ on a flat rock.

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

In a heartbeat.

Finer than frog hair.

nice truck but it looks like an easter egg.

(And a whole bunch I can put in this forum)

 

[KenB]

Raining like a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock.

Raining cats and dogs.

You can't get blood out of a turnip.

Sh!t like a goose.

 

[badaxemoo]

Ok, so it's a little long, but it always cracked us kids up when my Grandpa said it when we were cleaning the barn and someone would let loose when they picked up a big forkful:

"A fartin' horse it never tires, a fartin' man's the one to hire"