Regional or Universal Quotables

[Susie David]

Another that got Grandma's goat...especially on Sunday.
Grandpa would mutter to the boys..
Specticle...testicle....wallet...and watch.
DMc

 

[chrisy]

sharpe as a tack.
as nutty as a fruit cake.
two bob short of a shilling
sandwhich short of a picnic
as helpful as a chocolate teapot.
sharpest spanner in the box.
the list could go on my Daddy was one for old sayings.

 

[ga. prime]

Why would you hire a fartin' man?

 

[ga. prime]

Never mind, I get it, because he never tires.

 

[ga. prime]

Which reminds me of a saying my Daddy had. If something went really smoothly he would say: "Like a lamb a fartin'. "

 

[Wewild]

Granddad use to say make sure to get the only thing no one can take from you ..... an education.

He went to school twice. One time for his brother who was sick.

We can disagree but we don't have to be disagreeable was one my other grandfathers saying.

 

[Horticattleman]

That's like a broke d*^k just cant beat it

The wheels turning, but the hamsters dead

 

[Alice]

The wheels turning, but the hamsters dead

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I'd never heard that...that is wild! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Can ya' tell I like that one?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Alice

 

[Workinonit Farm]

He/she's so ugly I wouldn't take him/her to a dogfight.

Uglier than home-made soap.

Katherine

 

[Crowderfarms]

The lights are on, but nobody's home...

Few Bricks shy of a load.

Uglier than a Mud Duck.

Worthless as Teats on a Turkey.

Meaner than a Junkyard Dog.

If at first you dont suceed, heck with it, let someone else try.
(Slightly modified)

All his Dog's aint barkin'.

His Elevator dont go to the top floor.

Fart like a Kentucky Mule.

Beat with a Ugly Stick.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Like socks on a rooster

 

[ROCKSPRINGS]

( 1950 )here is two bits, run down to the ice house and get me a beer.

Lights are flashing/gates are down, but no train is coming. ( Your brain on drugs ) :lol:

 

[kjones]

Dumber than a day old dog turd.
As messed up as a soup sandwich.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
As ugly as a bucket of mashed a holes.

 

[TLCfromARK]

Ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road.

Whip light drive slow, pay cash or don't go.

You can't make chicken salad out of chicken crap.

;-)

 

[Hutch]

She's so ugly, she would have to sneek up on water to get a drink.


Procrastination is a lot like Ma$terbation , it feels good but in the end your just screwing your self. (clean version)

 

[Auburn_Ag]

Useless as a screen door on a submarine.

Good as snuff and not near as dusty.

Easier than sliding off a grease log

Better than Government cheese!

Hog Killing weather

Dumber than a box of rocks

Couldn't manage a setting hen


And my favorite Ignorance Mani festives itself!!! ;-)

Sutter down Buford she's a sucking mud!!!

 

[Susie David]

One that the bride hates....

Don't worry honey...I'll have that off quicker than a prom dress!

 

[dun]

One that the bride hates....

Don't worry honey...I'll have that off quicker than a prom dress!

Which begs the question, why are you wearing a prom dress?

dun

 

[KNERSIE]

on the same note as "a few sandwiches short of a picnic"

some of his cows are still in the veld (range)

 

[Auburn_Ag]

Thought of somemore

Can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear!

Butter my butt and call me a biscuit

You can lead a mule to water but u can't make him drink

Slicker than snot on a door knob

Smells like money!

tonight I am sure I will think of somemore