lost it, officially.

[TexasBred]

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Wisconsin. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Minnesota. He drives over to Minnesota, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts.

Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens. Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this cow in Minnesota, yah?"

Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

 

[ga. prime]

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Wisconsin. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Minnesota. He drives over to Minnesota, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts.

Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens. Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this cow in Minnesota, yah?"

Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

That's pretty good, Tex.

 

[MO_cows]

Yah, dis here is me, oof-duh. Agin I yam comingk to das defence ov my goot friend, da sveet gal MM retty: . She is saying ta me, "oof - duh, they are a'makin fun ov us folks up in da nort. Go tell dem ve don't half an accent." I half not had an accent since I drank too much ov da vodka und drofe my tractor onto Svens ice fishing house, but dat vas an accent for shure, normally I vould not do such a ting as dat on the purpose. :drink: :drink: Da Sven is still some sore over dat derr accent. Und Lena did not talk to me for da longkest time. (She gits like her motter back in da Old Country. :roll: , den me, Oof-duh, finds hisself a sleeping in hiss own ice house if'n ya know vat I mean. :? ) :help:

O, und oof-duh Jr. ~ he vas an accent too , but den me und Lena vent to da alter so all is vell dat ends vell I say. ;-)

But yah, bakk to da makin ov fun. Shure ve half an accent now und agin ~ you betcha. But most da time ve are a careful people. :nod: I still got 4 ov my 5 fingers on da von hand. Dat is a plenty goot ting up here ~ yes? ;-)

Frau. Mornin' ~ she has now und agin had an accent herself. :lol2:
Ahhh, she vill half ta tell dat story hersself I yam tinkin'...... :secret:

:clap: Good one, that was funny.

 

[BeefmasterB]

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Wisconsin. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Minnesota. He drives over to Minnesota, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts.

Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens. Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this cow in Minnesota, yah?"

Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

:lol2: :lol2: That was priceless, TB!!

 

[john250]

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

Shouldn't that be "Minnysoooota"?

 

[knowknews]

hillbilly lawnmower's, tie one too a old tire and move accordingly. Phew, mine are tied to cement blocks ('cause when they get big enough to pull one, you can just add another) so I ain't no hillbilly. ;-)

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

Shouldn't that be "Minnysoooota"? You betcha, Mm hmm!

 

[MistyMorning]

Ole and Sven are neighbors in Wisconsin. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Minnesota. He drives over to Minnesota, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts.

Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens. Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this cow in Minnesota, yah?"

Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."

HA HA HA there TB! :roll: I have heard this joke before, except Sven and Ole were from Minnysooota

 

[Angus Cowman]

Finally ~ I am not ANGRIE!!!!!!!!!!, AC and MM are dorks. :roll:
And no, its not weird to haul animals in your vehicle.....well, kinda it is.... :help:

Kinda sounds like you are

 

[peg4x4]

Had a mini foal had to go to the vet. Loaded all 3 kids into the Pinto,put the pony in the front floorboard. :help:
Got to the vet,he says "where's the horse?" I opened the door and lifted her out with one hand..Been over 25 years ago and he still laughs about it. :lol2:

 

[john250]

Had a mini foal had to go to the vet. Loaded all 3 kids into the Pinto,put the pony in the front floorboard. :help:
Got to the vet,he says "where's the horse?" I opened the door and lifted her out with one hand..Been over 25 years ago and he still laughs about it. :lol2:

3 kids and a pony and you, all in a Pinto? I'm old enough to remember the Pinto and I'm not buying this story. :lol2: :lol2:

 

[Lammie]

I once put a dead lamb in the back of a Geo Metro to haul it off... Fit nicely. Smelled a little...

 

[peg4x4]

Had a mini foal had to go to the vet. Loaded all 3 kids into the Pinto,put the pony in the front floorboard. :help:
Got to the vet,he says "where's the horse?" I opened the door and lifted her out with one hand..Been over 25 years ago and he still laughs about it. :lol2:

3 kids and a pony and you, all in a Pinto? I'm old enough to remember the Pinto and I'm not buying this story. :lol2: :lol2:

Honest truth..She was 18 inches tall--"Doodlebug" the kids called her..had a heart defect and died.
broke everybodys heart. Got photos,but don't know how to get them on here-Polarode (sp)to let you know how long ago..Remember those "packing" photos? They got nuttin on me! :lol2:

 

[cypressfarms]

Not to be outdone by Beefy with the goats, I'm making a deal with a man in Missourri for 10 kiko doelings. I should finish fencing the front paddock with hog wire and electric within a couple of weeks - looks like he'll make me a deal to bring them down for me.

Beefy, you know I always follow your lead! You have beefmasters, then I got them. You have goats, so I have to get me some!!!

I could never get a demetrius, though, I wouldn't want to tread that much!

 

[Beefy]

i started to pick up more goats today. kicking myself for not getting one nanny in particular. turns out the two i got are actually dogs. they follow me everywhere and eat my sandwiches. i just let em run around the back yard (10 acres). if i'm not going to be out there with them the whole time i throw them in the horsepen. Ive gotten Mousse unstuck out of the hogwire in the same spots two days in a row now. lol. gotta get around to electricing the place 'fore long.

Next on the list?: Peacocks!

 

[peg4x4]

Peacocks!!!! Have you HEARD those things?! KEENGOUWW KEEEGOUWH!! Can be heard for 10 miles. :shock: In the morning,afternoon,evening,midnight! Maybe you should research these just a little bit more :nod:

 

[Keren]

Well seeing as this is a goat thread I thought I'd better eventually pop my head in lol

Glad to hear you are enjoying them beefy. Boer goats are such intensely curious creatures they do tend to follow you round like a bad smell. If she keeps sticking her head through the fence, you can take a piece of poly pipe and duct tape it horizontally between her horns - looks stupid but she wont be able to fit her head through the fence. One of mine wears it permanently because otherwise I've gotta get her unstuck 3 - 4 times a day. Not a bright goat that one.

I've just started kidding down for this year ... the nurse doe and home milker (Saanen) was the first to go, I joined her a bit early so I'd have colostrum in the freezer for emergencies. She had a really nice Boer cross doe, brilliant kid tho I was peeved at her, she kept me up till 3am kidding and then only had a single. She's lucky it was a doe, I would NOT have been impressed if it was a buck.

Then yesterday ugh, I had a demonstration of how NOT to kid. A maiden (goat equivalent of a heifer ie. first timer) kidded down. She wasnt wide at all so I figured only once. Checked her in the morning and no signs of anything happening. Got home 2 hrs later and there's one kid screaming its head of, and her standing about 10 feet away from it, totally disinterested. Well I was in the process of penning her up when I realised about 30 feet away was a second kid just sitting there. I was surprised she'd had two not being very big, but I put them both together and was setting up the mothering pen when I realised about 30 feet away from the second kid - was a third! I thought this is crazy - 3rd kid was tiny and looked dead - but when I went over to grab it I realised it was breathing. So that one is still inside in front of the fire, I had to tube feed her first but now she's sucking. She had two doe kids and a buck kid - so at least thats good news. I had all bucks last year and thats not good. She has mothered up to the buck kid and he's walking round and suckling beautifully. The tiny is still inside, and the other doe kid I had to bring in last night and bottle feed because it cant stand so of course cant feed itself - and the doe isnt interested in a kid that cant walk.

Mum and the buck kid

The larger doe kid

Tiny doe kid - my herd birthweight is 3.5kg average. The buck kid is 2.8kg, the other doe kid is 2.6kg so small but pretty normal. This tiny kid was 1.3kg.

Thats a 600ml coke bottle next to her for size comparison

Also got a few on the bottle from neighbouring herds and the work goats - they kidded a month or two earlier than me, and they dont like bottle feeding.

Tinkerbelle - Alpine x Boer doe, stunning little kid this one. Out of the neighbours nurse doe/home milker. The mother unfortunately died and we havent yet figured out why.

A little gremlin kid - the oddest thing I've ever seen. He was everything that could possibly be wrong with a goat, all stuck together in the one package. He came from work. He had a parrot mouth, twisted ear, he was knock kneed and bowlegged, cow hocked and had this huge great big belly with tiny fine boned legs. He was a weirdo. Mum is fullblood, dad should have been fullblood, and both show animals, but I'm wondering if one of the crossbred bucks got to her through the fence. Anyway I had him on the bottle and he was about 2 mths old, and I found him dead this morning. No signs of illness, just up and died. But he was always a bit weird, seemed like maybe one day he might just keel over. He just didnt seem RIGHT if you know what I mean.

So ugly he was cute

This girl is due on August 11th - but I doubt she'll hold on that long. I'm scared how many she's got in there. If my maiden didnt look pregnant at all but had triplets ... well this doe is a lot wider, a lot longer and a lot deeper. I think she's got her own herd in there. And I have a feeling I'll have more on the bottle :frowns: Poor girl is really struggling with ketosis. Need to get those kids out of her sooner rather than later.

 

[john250]

Peacocks!!!! Have you HEARD those things?! KEENGOUWW KEEEGOUWH!! Can be heard for 10 miles. :shock: In the morning,afternoon,evening,midnight! Maybe you should research these just a little bit more :nod:

My neighbors had peacocks for years. Their call is a lot like someone being loudly strangled.

 

[1982vett]

Peacocks!!!! Have you HEARD those things?! KEENGOUWW KEEEGOUWH!! Can be heard for 10 miles. :shock: In the morning,afternoon,evening,midnight! Maybe you should research these just a little bit more :nod:

My neighbors had peacocks for years. Their call is a lot like someone being loudly strangled.

Yeah, you might want to rethink that one.
http://encarta.msn.com/media_461538253/Peacock.html

Come to think of it, I think I new someone that sounded like that. :lol:

 

[Beefy]

today i went down into the pasture to water the horses and the gooooats were out. they followed me in the truck for a ways crying like i did that time i got lost in k-mart. anyway, i was like enough with this separation anxiety, they are going to have to deal for 5 minutes until i get back. came back... no gooooats to be seen. i looked high and low for those goooats. finally rooode up and down the roooad looking for goooats. no gooats to be seen. went back and looked again. they were under the house the whole time! they tried to sleep there tonite but i coerced them out with my beer.

 

[MO_cows]

Keren - that tiny kid is tooooooo cute. Is there a good chance it will grow up to be normal??

Beefy - glad you seem to be enjoying your goats. They do have a kind of charm, don't they? We had a pair of pygmy goats once, but when the billy goat matured we realized the stench was NOT an old wives tale, and our goat pen was much too close to the house, we gave them away. I would like to get a couple of wethers to help with brush and unwanted trees in the pasture but don't think our fences would keep them in, also we have coyotes around.