Kid advice needed

[saltbranch]

Here is the short version.
My sons best buddy got his girlfriend pregnant. They had the child and moved in in with the girls parents. The boy is working 1/2 days and going to school trying to get diploma. Issues arose from living with GF parents to where he had to move out..I do not know what.. His parents show no interest in helping. I let him move in with us last week. He works as many hours as he can @ HEB, he is 17 yrs old, fixing to turn 18. He seems very dedicated to his child and speaks of wanting to do right by him/her-the mom. He says the girls mom is causing issues, but does not speak bad of her... He tries to get the overtime when he can. He is trying to get his driving record(speeding tickets) cleared /paid so he can drive. He bought a clean Honda Accord, 4 door plain jane for a good price with his tax return, as he put it..its the best vehicle for my family right now. Seems like he has a good head on his shoulders to me. The kids got a home as long as he needs with me as far as I am concerned.
What advice for careers do you guys have for someone with a high school diploma? I work in the oilfield service company related industry and could get him started in that direction. Wanted to see what ideas/advice/suggestions are out there.
thanks

 

[cross_7]

I was going to stay out of this and let someone that knows better to answer but no one has

I'l throw something out there
If he has the desire and if there is any way he can I'd suggest he get a degree
If he's not the type then I'd suggest a trade and not so much just a job
At the very least try and get a job with a future with opportunity for advancement
The only problem is the advancement may be limited without a degree

I have cousin that works for the state that's going to retire next year at 50
My oldest son is a fireman and the hours are great, benefits and retirement are great , but there are times you put your life on the line and they're are several each year that die on the job
But he will retire at 48

If I had it to do again I would have chosen a different career path and I'd be looking to retire soon

I can relate to what he's going through and it's a tough road ahead I hope for his sake and the kid that he and the mother can work things out
One thing he needs to know is if she has to choose between him and her mother he'll lose on that deal
He better make peace there if there is to be any hope

 

[larryshoat]

Living in Ohio I don't know a dang thing about the oilfield business but it sounds like a good job, so I would try to help him into that.

As far as the mother in law, cross is right he will not win that one, he doesn't have to love the woman just get along with her. JMHO

 

[Deepsouth]

Saltbranch, I'd say if you can get him any energy related job at all that would be the thing to do. This economy is bad and there's not many jobs available. The oil industry is about the only bright spot.

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

Saltbranch, I'd say if you can get him any energy related job at all that would be the thing to do. This economy is bad and there's not many jobs available. The oil industry is about the only bright spot.

+1

I like what Cross had to say as well.

 

[WalnutCrest]

My wife picked me over her mother. Don't be too quick to discourage a good outcome there.

Any shot at an associate's degree while doing something for an energy company?

 

[highgrit]

I let things be and see if he graduates high school. Once he graduates help him out with a job. Hope it all works out, mother in laws can be a pain to work with. :cowboy:

 

[TexasBred]

Saltbranch, I'd say if you can get him any energy related job at all that would be the thing to do. This economy is bad and there's not many jobs available. The oil industry is about the only bright spot.

Lots of demand for nurses, CNA,LVN's, etc for the medical field. Don't know how Obamacare will affect that.

 

[snake67]

Unfortunately I have this T-shirt in my family right now.

Trades - get his electricians, HVAC, plumbing, welding or whatever papers - then put the name on the side of his truck.

Take some business courses - then hire a few others to work for him.

The next thing you know he has 20 trucks on the road and is on his way to being a millionaire - and yes I know someone who started out like this - last year he took the entire employee team and their spouses on a two week vacation to the South Pacific - all expenses paid.

Or - join the military - never knock the education and discipline he will learn. Plus the trades training and the money for an education.

Jobs come and go - but careers last a life time.

In the end it all depends on whether this guy is a go-getter or not. And it also depends upon the girl - is she supportive and mature enough to accept the fact that no matter what he does she will have to bear half the load? Or was the sex so good that it was worth playing house for a year before they split?

This planning and making it does not happen over night - it is a lifetime plan - and most kids that are having kids have no idea about this - after all you did not get your own house by sitting in your parents basement - so they BOTH need to move their azzes now and start planning for the future.

As for outside family influences I would counsel them both to tell the families to eff off - unless they want to help - issues are not worth it and there is far more out there in the world to worry about right now other than negative outside family influences - both these kids need to get an education and a career of some sort to stand on their own two feet and I can tell you that the stats do not look good for them unless they hang tough.

Good luck to them - a little use of brains would have prevented this mess - but done is done - now they have to use brains AND efforts to dig themselves out.

Otherwise they will simply become another statistic - I would be sure to counsel them on THAT point alone

My best

Bez

 

[CottageFarm]

Unfortunately I have this T-shirt in my family right now.

Trades - get his electricians, HVAC, plumbing, welding or whatever papers - then put the name on the side of his truck.

Take some business courses - then hire a few others to work for him.

The next thing you know he has 20 trucks on the road and is on his way to being a millionaire - and yes I know someone who started out like this - last year he took the entire employee team and their spouses on a two week vacation to the South Pacific - all expenses paid.

Or - join the military - never knock the education and discipline he will learn. Plus the trades training and the money for an education.

Jobs come and go - but careers last a life time.

In the end it all depends on whether this guy is a go-getter or not. And it also depends upon the girl - is she supportive and mature enough to accept the fact that no matter what he does she will have to bear half the load? Or was the sex so good that it was worth playing house for a year before they split?

This planning and making it does not happen over night - it is a lifetime plan - and most kids that are having kids have no idea about this - after all you did not get your own house by sitting in your parents basement - so they BOTH need to move their azzes now and start planning for the future.

As for outside family influences I would counsel them both to tell the families to eff off - unless they want to help - issues are not worth it and there is far more out there in the world to worry about right now other than negative outside family influences - both these kids need to get an education and a career of some sort to stand on their own two feet and I can tell you that the stats do not look good for them unless they hang tough.

Good luck to them - a little use of brains would have prevented this mess - but done is done - now they have to use brains AND efforts to dig themselves out.

Otherwise they will simply become another statistic - I would be sure to counsel them on THAT point alone

My best

Bez

+1, especially the highlighted stuff.
He needs an education more than he needs a degree right now. Education about life and how to navigate it. Business courses will be an invaluable tool whether running your own business, or working for someone else.

A lot of the decisions will come down to aptitude. I personally favor electrical. Licensing requirements vary somewhat by state, as far as apprenticing and experience, but he could have a Master License within 5 years generally, and that can bring pretty darn good money especially if he's running his own company. And there seems to be a perpetual shortage of them.
Energy isn't a bad route, but it means working for someone else in the long run, and for the foreseeable future, most employers are more interested in a worthless degree than real experience when looking at young people as potential employees.

All that being said, Have you had any discussions with him about his own career thoughts?
I would also analyze his natural abilities. Inherent skills/talents can be a great window for seeing his potential career path.

 

[Dega Moo]

My first thought was military - depending on his aptitude he can develop skills during service. While he's doing that he picks up a check. I know quite a few folks who have hired vets because they brought the training with them.

What kind of industry is in the area? Around here it's coal and while there aren't many job openings, independent contractors do pretty well. Independent truckers can make a good living in our area. Pan owner/operators can do even better. I know it takes a lot of money to get into those as owners but it's something to aspire to.

He needs to be persistent, courteous, upbeat(and confident), clean and always on time. He should smile a lot even when he feels least like smiling. And absolutely drug free. Owners and managers look for people like that because they are usually trouble free employees.

Good suggestions above by other folks. In particular Cross was right - you can't fight the mother-in-law and Bez has good ideas.

 

[Bigfoot]

I bet if you check around in your area, there is an accelerated nursing program. Probably if he applies himself he could get some kind of qualified training in 18 months. That's about the quickest route for him to get in to career.

Farrier school comes to mind as well. Neither may suit his aptitude.

 

[greybeard]

Saltbranch, I'd say if you can get him any energy related job at all that would be the thing to do. This economy is bad and there's not many jobs available. The oil industry is about the only bright spot.

Lots of demand for nurses, CNA,LVN's, etc for the medical field. Don't know how Obamacare will affect that.

Most community colleges offer a nursing program and it isn't terribly expesive.
Lots of RN demand but it's not as easy to get into as advertised due to the shortage of facilities needed for the intern/lab part of it. My better half is going thru it now and once finished with the academics, there is a long waiting list for her to get in somewhere to get the practical part done.
Oilfield is good, but I was a single parent myself with oilfield jobs. It takes lots of time away from ya being with the kids. I coulda done better for/by them if I had just took a "9-5" somewhere, but I couldn't match the $$ at the time. Hindsight and regrets.

 

[Howdyjabo]

My son went back to school for C@C. It was a great choice. Hes moving up the pay scale pretty fast. there is good competition for employees.
Its odd though, he has to change jobs to do it.
You would think once a company has you trained they would want to keep you and give raises. But they don't, they will let you leave and hire someone that they pay more to.

 

[Jogeephus]

That is very good of you to help him out.

I'd look into a trade school or go into nursing. Demand for nurses is expected to increase a lot in the next few years and you can near about find a job in that anywhere in the country.

 

[jedstivers]

Print off what bez wrote and give it to the baby's mama. She needs to read that.

 

[cow pollinater]

Bez nailed it... especially the part about getting his name on the side of the truck.
I don't even think I'd push a kid like that to finish high school. A GED is the equivalent to a diploma and the time that it would free up for him to work will likely get him further down the road than the education will. When it comes to trades, don't get stuck on trade school. There are a lot of well paying jobs that a guy can get into just by asking someone that is already doing it to let them ride along. Before long he could be getting business handed to him by the guy that taught him.
This world bends over backwards to help a young man with work ethics, a good disposition, and a reason not to fail at home.

 

[WalnutCrest]

That is very good of you to help him out.

I'd look into a trade school or go into nursing. Demand for nurses is expected to increase a lot in the next few years and you can near about find a job in that anywhere in the country.

...and, generally, pick your hours (especially after you get a little seniority)...

 

[greybeard]

I dunno. Everyone that is young that I talk to nowadays that has a good paying job, has both a HS diploma and most have some kind of college too. The refineries around here--they all want at least that associates degree.

 

[Ryder]

My wife picked me over her mother. Don't be too quick to discourage a good outcome there.

Agree with WC.
If he just goes along to get along in the end neither the wife nor mother in law will respect him.
If he just gives in now it will be harder or impossible for him to be his own man later.
Those mother in law hooks can be devastating.