Kid advice needed

[Ouachita]

My wife picked me over her mother. Don't be too quick to discourage a good outcome there.

Agree with WC.
If he just goes along to get along in the end neither the wife nor mother in law will respect him.
If he just gives in now it will be harder or impossible for him to be his own man later.
Those mother in law hooks can be devastating.

This was the catalyst for the end of my first marriage. In hindsight it was a blessing for me, but I don't discourage anybody from continuing to try to make marriage work, in spite of family intervention. MIL is probably upset that he got her snowflake pregnant. Then of course there is the possibility that he is not good enough for her, in her eyes. The young man likely has his work cut out just proving himself worthy. Persistence is a valuable character trait in this situation, and for life in general.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Here is the short version.
My sons best buddy got his girlfriend pregnant. They had the child and moved in in with the girls parents. The boy is working 1/2 days and going to school trying to get diploma. Issues arose from living with GF parents to where he had to move out..I do not know what.. His parents show no interest in helping. I let him move in with us last week. He works as many hours as he can @ HEB, he is 17 yrs old, fixing to turn 18. He seems very dedicated to his child and speaks of wanting to do right by him/her-the mom. He says the girls mom is causing issues, but does not speak bad of her... He tries to get the overtime when he can. He is trying to get his driving record(speeding tickets) cleared /paid so he can drive. He bought a clean Honda Accord, 4 door plain jane for a good price with his tax return, as he put it..its the best vehicle for my family right now. Seems like he has a good head on his shoulders to me. The kids got a home as long as he needs with me as far as I am concerned.
What advice for careers do you guys have for someone with a high school diploma? I work in the oilfield service company related industry and could get him started in that direction. Wanted to see what ideas/advice/suggestions are out there.
thanks

Get in an apprenticeship or tell him to enroll in one of the pipe, machinist, electrical or operator courses at the jr college.
The refineries on the Gulf Coast are looking for the crafts and the pay and benefits are excellent.
On top of that they can't take a trade away from you he will always have a way to make a living.
Youngest is a master electrician pulling in big bucks, oldest is a machinist that works on compressors makes good as well.
SIL is an operator for a power company and makes good. Got to have something the companies want and have to go to the money.

 

[Caustic Burno]

I dunno. Everyone that is young that I talk to nowadays that has a good paying job, has both a HS diploma and most have some kind of college too. The refineries around here--they all want at least that associates degree.

That has changed they will hire you and send you through apprenticeship school. With the exception of operations
you are not even getting looked at without at least an associates degree and you better be good in organic chemistry.
That just gets you in the door at the refineries then you have to pass their training programs. OISHA 1910 really raised the standards along with the computerization of the industry.
I taught operations and set up several training programs a few are born to it, some can learn it most will never understand it.
They are hurting for the crafts all the kids now want to go to college and work at a desk.
They hired the youngest out of the military with his whole class no experience payed them 25 dollars an hour and sent them to school.
Now you have to work and pass the course to stay employed. There is a big shortage of the crafts.
As Bez said military is not a bad option as i know several companies give vet preference for the apprenticeship programs.

 

[greybeard]

I only know about Exxon at Baytown and Mont Belvue. Most of their crafts now are contracted out 3rd party. They have process operators and safety and not much else anymore. Pipefitters, insulators, electricians steamfitters-mostly contract, even the dock work.

 

[Caustic Burno]

I only know about Exxon at Baytown and Mont Belvue. Most of their crafts now are contracted out 3rd party. They have process operators and safety and not much else anymore. Pipefitters, insulators, electricians steamfitters-mostly contract, even the dock work.

All I know of still carry a proprietary workforce in the crafts.
I don't know of any that don't contract out the turnarounds.
I can't think of the company that was doing a lot of the dock work for the refineries, it payed well.
A lot of the companies were getting out of that due to all the regs and training required for loading and off loading of the ships.
Marathon,Shell,BP and Valero were using the apprenticeship to fill their craft positions.
Chevron at Mont Belvue has crafts as well I know several that work there.
Motiva the old Texaco refinery in Port Arthur is in a major rebuild and will be one of the largest
if not the largest on the coast when they finish.
Praxair is becoming a player as well in supplying Hydrogen and oxygen.

 

[starbaby]

we have a young man in town bought an old gas station . all he does is inspection stickers he's always busy
he just added full service gas fill up ,window wash ,check oil,tires . baby boomers are getting older they love it

 

[tntblaster11]

I'd be cautious w/ the military route suggestion. Does build a lot of skills, free college etc, however I'd be concerned with the girlfriend while he is away. Does he want to be away from his newborn? Can he trust the girlfriend not to run around on him, cause problems, not take good care of the child etc.

Trade schools, apprenticeships, etc are all fantastic ways to gain experience and meet people who can get you better jobs. College is not for everyone.

 

[lavacarancher]

Salt, I'm sure someone else has already made comment(s) similar to this one but here goes.

Sounds to me like this kid is a stand up guy. He needs all the support he can get. Remember, he and his wife/girl friend are kids themselves and as old as I am I can still remember the raging hormones teenagers have and sometimes, mistakes happen. It's how you try to handle those mistakes that is important. If this young man doesn't get the education he needs he and his wife and child are destined to become just another leach on the a$$hole of society. We've got enough of those types already.

You didn't mention his parents. Can they help?

The oil patch still provides a few good paying jobs but it is hard, dirty, dangerous work, particularly on a rig. And I don't know if there are any jobs in the oil patch that are part time but if you are still actively working in that business maybe you can convince your company to work with this young man.

The main thing (imo) is he needs to get an education. What ever you can do to see that that happens is important.

Let me know if there is anything I can do.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Texas Workforce was doing the screening for the apprenticeship programs.
Here is the link.
http://www.twc.state.tx.us/svcs/apprent ... ntice.html

 

[presmudjo]

One thing I have not read anyone talk about is his time and rights with his child. I have seen this all too often. I do not know the laws in your state, but if court papers do not state visitation and the jurisdiction the child can live, he can be in for a very rude awakening. In Florida, just because you are on a birth certificate doesn't mean you can see your child who does not live with you. It also means the mother can take that child to live wherever she wants, even out of state. Also keep every receipt spent on the child and if he gives her money it should be with a check. Child support will come up at some point. Yes, it is not what you would think should be addressed, but I have watched this ugly part happen with my friends son. It was all instigated by the girls mother. Young minds can easily be twisted. Just my :2cents:

 

[saltbranch]

Keep the ideas coming. He needs the help. If it were my kid, he would humpin it somewhere on a drilling rig . The way i figure it is he made the kid, he pays for it. My wife so disagrees with me.

 

[Jogeephus]

Get in an apprenticeship or tell him to enroll in one of the pipe, machinist, electrical or operator courses at the jr college.

Machinists are in high demand.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Get in an apprenticeship or tell him to enroll in one of the pipe, machinist, electrical or operator courses at the jr college.

Machinists are in high demand.

Oldest son is a machinist and the youngest an electrician plenty of work out there for the trades.
They are both making more than 90% of their classmates that went off to college and sought those type jobs.
Both mine went to college and found out there is more money in the trades if you are not scared of work.

 

[Jogeephus]

Have a friend who is looking to hire another machinist right now. My brother is back in school studying it as well.

 

[Caustic Burno]

I still believe you can achieve what ever you want in this country if you have the drive and desire to succeed.
You have to loose the victim ideology and embrace the Victor. I started with a HS diploma.
I started as an butcher apprentice and made journeyman seen I was never going to achieve what I wanted
for my family on myself in the profession. Changed careers started as a laborer in the oil patch in refining. Though constant striving for higher education became Night Sup of the facility and leading industry expert in a refining process, as well as Certified Root Cause Failure Analyst and instructor. Could have climbed higher the reason I didn't was I became satisfied with where I was at.
There are two reasons people don't reach their potential, when you become satisfied ,or scared to fail to succeed you have already failed.
The first rule is to realize what you don't know and to continue to educate yourself realizing your on a never ending journey of what you don't now. Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it sure buys misery. My view was the job was an end to a means to buy the things I enjoy.
Now take that and a buck and a half and you can get a cup of coffee most places.

 

[highgrit]

Great advice CB. I will add you don't need the biggest or the best to live happy.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Great advice CB. I will add you don't need the biggest or the best to live happy.

Totally agree with that highgrit possessions don't buy happiness.
I was raised by depression era people that lead a modest God fearing life that family always came first.
Help and share with your neighbor was taught and expected. I toted a many a gallon of ribbon cane syrup or a ham from a hog killing to the less fortunate as a kid. I still try to live by that example. But I was raised by a different generation as my mom would have been 100 this April.

 

[hillbilly beef man]

My .02 for a quick route to a good job (provided heights are not a problem) is take one of the six week lineman classes around the country, and put in an application with a power contractor such as Pike. In 4 to 6 years he will be making from 60-90K, and would then have the experence to get on with a local power company. Around here they only hire lineman with four or more years experence.

 

[Engler]

Any #$&@ can be a father, but it takes a man to be a dad. He's just a pup, but it's time for him to man up financially and emotionally. Even if he and mom can't make a go of it he needs to be part of Jr's life or they both are going to resent it for a long, long time I would guess. This is the rub, not just for the young man in question but for a lot of us guys, our families need a roof over their head, shoes on their feet and something in their tummy and it's our job to make sure it happens. But at what cost to our health (physical and mental), relationships with the kids, kids' mother, family and friends, long term career and on and on. There is a balance in their somewhere, the key is to find it.

I would encourage him to finish school, he's so close to being done, just hang in there for another 3 months. Day 1 after graduation however he needs to be getting after it.

 

[Shantilly]

I would have him look into industrial work like welding. A good welder can make 100k a year there are a lot of jobs like that in high demand because so many kids went to college to get degrees in computers or business fields... and a lot of companies will pay to train someone willing to learn and work hard. some companies will even put an employee through college to fill certain jobs they have open. He has a great future ahead of him and as far as the girls mom goes... unless she is evil she must be told that she needs to allow the new parents to raise their child their way whether they live in her house or not and whether the kids get married or not.. the only thing that matters is the baby and whats best for him. He needs his daddy as well as his momma. super big hugs to you for helping this young man out..sounds like that baby is truly blessed with a fabulous daddy