Daily Chuckle

[Rafter S]

I like when there's not enough dimensions and they say "scale it"! How do I scale 10' 11 7/8"???

Back when I was on the construction crew we had a drawing that showed a longitudinal rebar lying directly on the moment slab. The engineer in charge of the project looked at and said "That's not good construction practice." We all knew that but that's what the drawing that he had given us showed. When that was pointed out to him he replied "Well don't go by the pictures."

 

[greybeard]

Do as I say, not as I did?

 

[greybeard]

I submitted 10 puns to a joke writing competition to see if any of them made it to the finals.


Sadly, no pun in ten did.

 

[greybeard]

This is so wrong on so many levels...

 

[Mountaintown Creek Ranch]

This is so wrong on so many levels...

View attachment 23643

What state they from ?
Asking for a friend.

 

[coachg]

 

[coachg]

What state they from ?
Asking for a friend.

Look like Tennessee boys to me . Been up on rocky top too long .

 

[Ouachita]

View attachment 23647

That same fruitcake is probably being regifted today.

 

[SBMF 2015]

This is so wrong on so many levels...

View attachment 23643

 

[Ouachita]

That is poor posture. He needs some instruction

 

[Lee VanRoss]

I never had the concentration required to shoot like that.

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]

Couple quick shots so the barrel doesn't get too hot!

 

[Travlr]

An Aussie and a Maori walk into a bakery.

...The Aussie steals three pastries and slips them into his pocket. He turns to the Maori and says, "Pretty slick aye, bro? The owner didn't even see me."

Unimpressed, the Maori replies, "Typical dishonest Aussie, bro. I'm gonna show you the honest way and still get the same result."

The Maori calls out to the owner of the shop and says, "Bro, I want to show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner comes over. The Maori asks him for a pastry, which the owner gives him, and the Maori eats it. He asks for another and eats that, too. He asks for a third and eats it as well.

The owner says, "C'mon, mate. Where's the magic trick?"

The Maori points to the Aussie and says, "Check his pockets."

 

[greybeard]

I don't think that would be Chia growing on his head if it was an authentic Willie Nelson planter...

 

[SBMF 2015]

 

[Ouachita]

Top of the morning to you. A.chuckle if you know

 

[Redgully]

A nurse was working an afternoon shift and in the evening was heading to a party, so she decided getting ready at the hospital would save time. She stripped down and went to get in the shower when there was a knock at the door, she asked who it was, the blind guy was the response, so she let him in and thought she could wait until he was done. He came in, looked at her and said, nice tits, now where to i hang these blinds.

 

[Ouachita]

A nurse was working an afternoon shift and in the evening was heading to a party, so she decided getting ready at the hospital would save time. She stripped down and went to get in the shower when there was a knock at the door, she asked who it was, the blind guy was the response, so she let him in and thought she could wait until he was done. He came in, looked at her and said, nice tits, now where to i hang these blinds.

If it were only that easy………

 

[Ouachita]

If it were only that easy………

I've spent most of my adult life trying to catch my wife naked in the daylight. I ain't figured out how she does it. I'm always late to the game. Maybe it's best that I imagine what she looks like!

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]