Anyone Got Any Extra Room for Uncle Crowder?

[Crowderfarms]

I'm fixin' to be bombarded with company the next few days, and may need an escape mechanism to put to use if things get to rough...Seems the Wife's sister has decided she dont like men no more and is bringing her new GIRLFRIEND with her for Christmas.Funny thing is between the 2 of em' they got 3 kids. :shock: Any offers? Any Advice?

Signed desperate inTennessee.

 

[Lammie]

I got an extry air mattress and you can sleep in the den.

I was just gonna ask the same question. I should be okay after the weekend. Most of my company is blowing through then.

 

[Lammie]

My advice is to drink till it all seems tolerable. Works for me.

 

[mtncows]

Come on up! We don't tolerate that kind of stuff here!Will hav 20+ here on Saturday and plenty to eat.

 

[grannysoo]

Uncle Jack from Lynchberg can probably help with the pain...

 

[Calman]

Maby it would help if you introduced her to one of your WIMMEN. I know your pretty selfish about sharing your WIMMEN but it just might get her outa your sight for a while.She just might get to takin a likeing to one of em.

Cal

 

[warpaint]

Before I go offerin a place to stay,,,,,,,,

is it you or your siter-in-law, that you are tryin to place somwheres else. :shock:

 

[backhoeboogie]

Be kind, buy here a ticket to Florida and introduce her to the flaboy factor. You might be beholding to flaboy after that.

 

[warpaint]

Be kind, buy here a ticket to Florida and introduce her to the flaboy factor. You might be beholding to flaboy after that.

If memory serves, she is from Fla. Maybe she done met up with the Boy and thats what turned her the other way. :shock:

 

[bigbull338]

sounds like you need to go hole up in the barn till everyone leaves.an by all means take some jim or jack with you to drink.an after awhile youll be feeling good.

 

[MikeC]

AHH, Crowder. Nothing like joining in the Christmas cheer with a house full of Lesbos and screaming children.

Try letting your scalp down and have some fun.

Tape 2-3 days worth of the Ellen Degeneres and Rosie TV shows and sit around in your underwear watching them and swearing at how morals have hit rock bottom.

Get yourself a copy of "Debbie Does Dallas" too, they might stay through New Years Day.

 

[Cabo]

Before I go offerin a place to stay,,,,,,,,

is it you or your siter-in-law, that you are tryin to place somwheres else. :shock:

I'm still waiting on the answer to this too before I make any invites, I have an empty farm house but I don't want it tainted with too much taint.

 

[MistyMorning]

Dear Desperate in Tennessee,

It appears you are in a pickle, you are in a bind of sorts. Your situation there has all the makings of a train wreck waiting to happen. It also appears that your fellow CT members have overwhelmingly suggested that you use alcohol as a way of "dealing" with your "issues".(It's possible that a poll might have worked well for you here) Now I will say that alcohol has worked well in the past for me in dealing with certain family issues, some additional ideas are as follow:

LAY OFF THE AQUA DOTS while company is there.(That one was kinda unanimous from the "snow wimmens" here at the Triple MMM.)

DO NOT listen to any suggestions from that nincompoop CT member from Fla. (honestly, he thinks he looks like the Marlboro Man for goodness sakes, talk about living in a fantasy world) :roll:

Best bet is to just slink on off to wp's place for the duration. I'm sure you two could find some hillbilly nonsense to chat about for a few days. :lol:

Thats about all for advice at this time Desperate, I'll let ya know if I think of anything else.

P.S. tell Mrs. C I'll leave the phone line open. ;-)

The Triple MMM

 

[Dave]

Run a special 24 hour sale at the feed store. Of course with Christmas you wouldn't expect anyone else to work so you could go man the store by yourself.

Or you could just ask them some very personal questions. Have fun making them more uncomfortable than you are.

The real question is how much can you get away with without make the wife too mad at you?

 

[Lammie]

AHH, Crowder. Nothing like joining in the Christmas cheer with a house full of Lesbos and screaming children.

Try letting your scalp down and have some fun.

Tape 2-3 days worth of the Ellen Degeneres and Rosie TV shows and sit around in your underwear watching them and swearing at how morals have hit rock bottom.

Get yourself a copy of "Debbie Does Dallas" too, they might stay through New Years Day.

My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Startled the dog. Lesbos and screaming children! HA!

I hid the dominoes last night on account of we have a glasstop dining room table and those things clink something to wake the dead. Cards are much more quiet. I also have laid in two turkeys and two hams for the occasion, as Steve's kids are coming in on Saturday and that girl that EAT! I pretty much just stay out of the way. His mother is coming back, too, and the last time she was here, my loving spouse commented that he didn't know who would cook dinner if it weren't for her.

He almost slept in the barn for that one.

And yes, my friend, Jim Beam, will be hidden in the barn. He's a dear friend of mine this time of year. I like Jose, too, but he's more of a warm weather friend.

Like I said, drink till it all seems normal. This too shall pass. If it keeps up this warm weather we're having, I can spend most of the daylight hours doing chores.

 

[backhoeboogie]

I hid the dominoes last night

Oh Lammie. Say that aint so? How could you do such? No forty-two? That's anti-Texan aint it?

 

[L.A.]

I say Call the vet! There must be something to cure this. If not haul them heifers to the sale barn. It might spread to your LARGE herd. :roll:

 

[flaboy]

I'm fixin' to be bombarded with company the next few days, and may need an escape mechanism to put to use if things get to rough...Seems the Wife's sister has decided she dont like men no more and is bringing her new GIRLFRIEND with her for Christmas.Funny thing is between the 2 of em' they got 3 kids. :shock: Any offers? Any Advice?

Signed desperate inTennessee.

Dear old friend Crowder. Once again I feel I must come to your aid. Iffin they have 3 kids betwinkst them and then went twinky someone done showed em the wrong things.

Go on send em on down. Heck in just a few sessions I will have them a squealing with glee and they be a fighting each other to get back to me. Iffn that don't work out, ain't there something called a threesome? I would hate to have use such harsh techniques but for a friend..............

 

[Crowderfarms]

Be kind, buy here a ticket to Florida and introduce her to the flaboy factor. You might be beholding to flaboy after that.

If memory serves, she is from Fla. Maybe she done met up with the Boy and thats what turned her the other way. :shock:

Bingo Paint! They are from N. Florida.

I heartfully appreciate the warm, sincere, obliging offers of temporary residency.I've about decided to buy a baby monitor and hide it under the bed they'll be in.Maybe I can sell the audio for training purposes. :shock: I also understand they both have gotten Dolphin tatoos on both of them. Not sure where though.The more I talk to folks, the more common these situations seem to be popping up. Bi-Racial stuff, gays, etc.marrying into once normal families. I dont think I'm ready for company coming here with them type issues.

And Misty Morning, Please stop the PM's. Your gonna have to come up with a lot more cash than what you're offering. What kinda feller do you think I am?

 

[backhoeboogie]

What kinda feller do you think I am?

M & M (BTW is it yellow or Green?),

Think on that last one of Crowder's before you answer.