About Growing Older......

[Jay]

ABOUT GROWING OLDER............

First, Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second, The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
for.

Third, Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth, When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth, You know you are getting old when every thing either dries up or
leaks.

Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh, One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it
is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth, One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.

Ninth, Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth, Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

 

[Craig-TX]

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman:

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

------------------------------------------ * * * * *

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

------------------------------------------ * * * * *

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

------------------------------------------------- * * * * *

I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes.

I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But..... Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

------------------------------------------------ * * * * *

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"

"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

---------------------------------------------- * * * * *

God, grant me the senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

------------------------------------------------------ * * * * *

 

[D.R. Cattle]

No joking on the Florida drivers license. I put a cattle guard on the front of my F-350, and pipe on the back partly for that reason. They aren't wild drivers, they just don't have any idea where they are going and where they've been. I see them everyday at lunch getting started on the wine already.

 

[Waterway65]

They are not all in Florida either!!!

 

[herofan]

Speaking of growing older, we've all aged 10 years since this thread was created.

 

[highgrit]

Just the lucky ones.

 

[greybeard]

Old guy goes to the doc and tells him "Doc, I'm having trouble peeing"
Doc asks: How old are you?
"Well, I turned 82 last month Doc."
82 huh? That's a long time-------------well, I reckon you've peed enough. ;-)


On a truthful note........
I've noticed something starting about 25 years ago..
You start off your life knowing almost nothing about death, especially if your grandparents and parents are fairly young when you came along. Slowly, over the first 30-40 years, that changes, as the granparents die, then the older uncles and aunts.
The older you get, the more time you spend going to funerals, mostly relatives, mostly "the old folks".

At some point, if you live long enough, at one of those funerals, it suddenly dawns on you that YOU, are now "the old folks".

It also dawns on you, that there are fewer and fewer people attending these gatherings that you've actually met or know.
I'm now into the 'cousins' part of it--lost one last June and another yesterday, and as soon as the arraignments are made, I'll go up to Tyler and say my goodbyes to him, and I will again notice how young most of the attendees are, how few of them are my direct relatives, and how few I recognize or can place as belonging to who.
Such is life-and death.

 

[Bigfoot]

Old guy goes to the doc and tells him "Doc, I'm having trouble peeing"
Doc asks: How old are you?
"Well, I turned 82 last month Doc."
82 huh? That's a long time-------------well, I reckon you've peed enough. ;-)


On a truthful note........
I've noticed something starting about 25 years ago..
You start off your life knowing almost nothing about death, especially if your grandparents and parents are fairly young when you came along. Slowly, over the first 30-40 years, that changes, as the granparents die, then the older uncles and aunts.
The older you get, the more time you spend going to funerals, mostly relatives, mostly "the old folks".

At some point, if you live long enough, at one of those funerals, it suddenly dawns on you that YOU, are now "the old folks".

It also dawns on you, that there are fewer and fewer people attending these gatherings that you've actually met or know.
I'm now into the 'cousins' part of it--lost one last June and another yesterday, and as soon as the arraignments are made, I'll go up to Tyler and say my goodbyes to him, and I will again notice how young most of the attendees are, how few of them are my direct relatives, and how few I recognize or can place as belonging to who.
Such is life-and death.

Deep thoughts.

 

[3waycross]

The Algebra remark struck me deeply. I hated it with a passion and barely passed but then I had the sheer joy of taking Geometry and it made me not hate math for the first time in my life............

Looking back at many of the Algebra situations in my life it seems like they always led to something like Geometry.......as in my first wife of 6 months and all the pain she brought me led to my second wife of 38 years and all the joy that has brought.

Getting old ain't that bad you just gotta take it for what it's worth.

 

[Rafter S]

When I hear people complaining about getting old, I point out that the only way to avoid it is to die young. I'd rather get old.

 

[pdfangus]

I just thank God for every day he gives me....

 

[bbirder]

At a certain age it comes to this:

I don't have a Bucket list,
but
My Phuckit kit list is a mile long!

 

[HDRider]

At a certain age it comes to this:

I don't have a Bucket list,
but
My Phuckit kit list is a mile long!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[backhoeboogie]

At a certain age it comes to this:

I don't have a Bucket list,
but
My Phuckit kit list is a mile long!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

Even deeper thinking.

Where's a good place to keep that list? I keep losing all of my lists.

 

[bbirder]

At a certain age it comes to this:

I don't have a Bucket list,
but
My Phuckit kit list is a mile long!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

Even deeper thinking.

Where's a good place to keep that list? I keep losing all of my lists.

BH, My better half keeps telling me to write it down , and I tell her "I did, where did you put it"

 

[herofan]

Old guy goes to the doc and tells him "Doc, I'm having trouble peeing"
Doc asks: How old are you?
"Well, I turned 82 last month Doc."
82 huh? That's a long time-------------well, I reckon you've peed enough. ;-)


On a truthful note........
I've noticed something starting about 25 years ago..
You start off your life knowing almost nothing about death, especially if your grandparents and parents are fairly young when you came along. Slowly, over the first 30-40 years, that changes, as the granparents die, then the older uncles and aunts.
The older you get, the more time you spend going to funerals, mostly relatives, mostly "the old folks".

At some point, if you live long enough, at one of those funerals, it suddenly dawns on you that YOU, are now "the old folks".

It also dawns on you, that there are fewer and fewer people attending these gatherings that you've actually met or know.
I'm now into the 'cousins' part of it--lost one last June and another yesterday, and as soon as the arraignments are made, I'll go up to Tyler and say my goodbyes to him, and I will again notice how young most of the attendees are, how few of them are my direct relatives, and how few I recognize or can place as belonging to who.
Such is life-and death.

True. Aside from my immediate family, I loved the older generation, all the great aunts and uncles. I' 46, and they have all passed away now, and nobody has taken their place. Nobody has the same personalities they did. Family get togethers, wedding sowers, all used to be great with them there. Now it's a bunch of people I don't know or don't relate to. Time certainly makes a change.