Crowderfarms
Well-known member
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the
South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take
this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per
acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14
inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees
are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length
is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can
each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and
still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit
out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the
probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of of 7.5% per generation, how long will
it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to
breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show
ya...
There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare
ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the
road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop
and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride
home with them.
South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take
this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per
acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14
inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees
are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length
is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can
each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and
still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit
out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the
probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of of 7.5% per generation, how long will
it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to
breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show
ya...
There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare
ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the
road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop
and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride
home with them.