Two Blonde jokes

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I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows
to make sure my two Jack Russell Terriers had fresh air. They were
stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon them
that they must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing
my finger at the car and saying emphatically, Now you stay... Do you
hear me?... Stay! Stay!
The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde, gave
me a strange look and said. "Why don't you just put it in park?"


Homer walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this
blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV.

The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a
ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looks at Homer and
says, " Do you think he will jump?"

Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet
he won't." Homer placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off
of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and
handed her $20 dollars to Homer and said, "All is fair. Here is your

Homer replies, " I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5
o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replies, "I did too, but I
didn't think he'd do it again."