Fire Sweep Ranch
Well-known member
I spent the last week in California, Desert Hot Springs to be exact. The week was a blur, but I do not think I checked in here at all. It was very hard leaving the farm and cattle, and my teaching job behind for 7 days, but life's circumstances forced it. My dad is dying. It kills me to write this, but we will be lucky if we get two more weeks. This is the hardest thing I think a person has to go through, losing someone and KNOWING you are losing them.
My dad has had congestive heart failure for many years; he has had open heart surgery, a pacemaker, a quadruple bypass (two were 90% occluded), has late onset diabetes, and now his kidneys are failing. He always bounced back after each incident, maybe a little slower for it. I had not seen my parents for 6 years and a visit was due, but I could not pull myself away from my kids and life; until I got the call from my sister (a Nurse Practitioner for the VA in KS) that his time was short here on earth.
He has had an exciting life, starting his career as a smoke jumper for CA, then a forester, and retired his last years running a warehouse to slow down a bit. He was always a hard worker, never saw him sitting down lazily. He taught us girls (yes, the poor man had 3 girls) how to garden, maintain an orchard, butcher chickens, and everything agriculture on a small scale. We balanced our lives with water sports in the summers (he loved his boat) at places like Powell and Havasue, and winters on bikes in the desert camping and jack rabbit chasing. He taught me to shoot a gun. He taught me the value of hard work. We showed horses growing up, which most know is an expensive sport to play. He LOVED us. Not to take any credit away from my mom, because she was right with him all along. They have been married for 51 years. He is 72, still young in my eyes.
When I saw him Monday last week, he still looked good, but lost his gas, so to speak. Him and mom picked me up from the airport, mom driving. My has not driven since she retired (also a nurse), dad has done everything for her. She does not even know how to fuel the pickup by herself, daddy always took care of that. We ran a few errands while we were out, and dad stayed in the truck while we got the needed supplies. His mind was clear, and it was almost like old times other than he was using a cane to walk (he broke the arch on his foot a few years ago). He went to the dr on Wednesday, before Thanksgiving (he had an angiogram two weeks ago, three stints put in). They ordered home oxygen treatment because he ran out of breath quickly (congestive heart failure causes this). He quickly slid downhill from there. We almost called 911 Sunday night, we could not get him out of the chair (he was too weak to stand and go to the bathroom) and he could not breath without his oxygen. He had put on 13 pounds in one week, and had eaten hardly anything (water weight - kidneys not working). He spent more time sleeping than awake on Sunday and Monday when I left. Monday, hospice was ordered to help my mom take care of him. He can not even get in the truck now to go his his doctor appointments. So they will come to him, and do their best to keep him comfortable and assist mom with his daily care. My mom is only 68, but if he fell or needed assistance getting up she would not be able to help.
I did get two good days with him, and he showed me all of his guns and how proud he was of them. Dad was a safety officer for the local shooting range, and is certified to teach gun safety and such. He then showed me how he loads all of his own ammo (except 22s). He was excited, like a kid in a candy store, showing me what kept his time busy the last 5 years. A great love for his guns and gun ownership. If he could, he would have taken me out to the range to shoot with me, but there was no way he was climbing up the pathway to the range.
It was VERY hard leaving, kissing him on the cheek knowing I will not likely see him alive again. Watching a once strong man, who I strive to be like, laying in the chair so feeble and in pain, drowning in his own fluids. My oldest sister left today, back to her job in KS. She had a tough time, texting me last night that she made dad his favorite peanut butter cookies, for what is likely the very last time.
Life is a process, and I know we all go through this. But in my lifetime, I have been lucky to have only lost one important person in my life, my dad's mom, my grandma, and that killed me (I was only 13). So this is NOT easy. Please, for those on here that love their Lord and Savior, pray for my family and the rough days ahead.
My dad has had congestive heart failure for many years; he has had open heart surgery, a pacemaker, a quadruple bypass (two were 90% occluded), has late onset diabetes, and now his kidneys are failing. He always bounced back after each incident, maybe a little slower for it. I had not seen my parents for 6 years and a visit was due, but I could not pull myself away from my kids and life; until I got the call from my sister (a Nurse Practitioner for the VA in KS) that his time was short here on earth.
He has had an exciting life, starting his career as a smoke jumper for CA, then a forester, and retired his last years running a warehouse to slow down a bit. He was always a hard worker, never saw him sitting down lazily. He taught us girls (yes, the poor man had 3 girls) how to garden, maintain an orchard, butcher chickens, and everything agriculture on a small scale. We balanced our lives with water sports in the summers (he loved his boat) at places like Powell and Havasue, and winters on bikes in the desert camping and jack rabbit chasing. He taught me to shoot a gun. He taught me the value of hard work. We showed horses growing up, which most know is an expensive sport to play. He LOVED us. Not to take any credit away from my mom, because she was right with him all along. They have been married for 51 years. He is 72, still young in my eyes.
When I saw him Monday last week, he still looked good, but lost his gas, so to speak. Him and mom picked me up from the airport, mom driving. My has not driven since she retired (also a nurse), dad has done everything for her. She does not even know how to fuel the pickup by herself, daddy always took care of that. We ran a few errands while we were out, and dad stayed in the truck while we got the needed supplies. His mind was clear, and it was almost like old times other than he was using a cane to walk (he broke the arch on his foot a few years ago). He went to the dr on Wednesday, before Thanksgiving (he had an angiogram two weeks ago, three stints put in). They ordered home oxygen treatment because he ran out of breath quickly (congestive heart failure causes this). He quickly slid downhill from there. We almost called 911 Sunday night, we could not get him out of the chair (he was too weak to stand and go to the bathroom) and he could not breath without his oxygen. He had put on 13 pounds in one week, and had eaten hardly anything (water weight - kidneys not working). He spent more time sleeping than awake on Sunday and Monday when I left. Monday, hospice was ordered to help my mom take care of him. He can not even get in the truck now to go his his doctor appointments. So they will come to him, and do their best to keep him comfortable and assist mom with his daily care. My mom is only 68, but if he fell or needed assistance getting up she would not be able to help.
I did get two good days with him, and he showed me all of his guns and how proud he was of them. Dad was a safety officer for the local shooting range, and is certified to teach gun safety and such. He then showed me how he loads all of his own ammo (except 22s). He was excited, like a kid in a candy store, showing me what kept his time busy the last 5 years. A great love for his guns and gun ownership. If he could, he would have taken me out to the range to shoot with me, but there was no way he was climbing up the pathway to the range.
It was VERY hard leaving, kissing him on the cheek knowing I will not likely see him alive again. Watching a once strong man, who I strive to be like, laying in the chair so feeble and in pain, drowning in his own fluids. My oldest sister left today, back to her job in KS. She had a tough time, texting me last night that she made dad his favorite peanut butter cookies, for what is likely the very last time.
Life is a process, and I know we all go through this. But in my lifetime, I have been lucky to have only lost one important person in my life, my dad's mom, my grandma, and that killed me (I was only 13). So this is NOT easy. Please, for those on here that love their Lord and Savior, pray for my family and the rough days ahead.
