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Roping A Deer

dun

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(Names have been removed to protect the UNEDUCATED!)

Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!




I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. .my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
 

jw

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You should think through all the possible scenarios next time, Dun!!
 

cfpinz

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I was wondering what happened to those front teeth...
 

backhoeboogie

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A 150 pound buck, once loose in a hog pen, can drag the pen with a 300 lb bro-in-law standing on it. The hog pen merely looks like a sled going across the pasture.

Yes I have been attacked by a buck too. They growl like dogs and bite and strike with their front feet. The only reason I am probably alive today is because of cedar trees in close proximity. If you know of someone raising a little deer on a bottle, they are essentially raising a killer. Once that cute little fawn turns in to a full grown buck and the rut is on, humans invade his domain, he will attack. Probably kill some kid. Do not raise deer on bottles.

Really funny Dun. It would not be so funny if it were not likely true.
 

Jogeephus

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Sounded like a solid plan to me. Maybe need to tweek things a bit. I'd suggest adding a helicopter to the equation. You can learn a lot about a deer while in a chopper. First, they tend to run in circles when big birds are chasing them. Big ones. Second, they are only good for three circles after which they stop and their tongues can almost touch the ground. At this time and only at this time do you have a chance in h3ll of roping one. Of course I don't know anyone who would do this cause its illegal.
 

cypressfarms

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Dun,

After reading that I'm literally peeing on myself laughing. I actually had 2 of my kids (13 and 11) come in to my office to check on me because they were sure something was wrong. Thanks for the laugh!
 

3waycross

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Had some friends who along with a pretty famous PRCA bullrider, bulldogged a spike bull Elk off a snowmobile a few years ago. Similar results only they also had the pleasure of being arrested and fined.

The story I heard was the bullrider told the judge it was the most fun he had ever had for that much money.

and no I won't give out his name.
 

angie1

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I had a colt I was breaking drag me like that once. Did you know that debris embedded into your head will work its way out weeks, even months, later??

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:
 

hillsdown

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I am guessing that the original author and all their brilliance was a MAN... :lol2: :cowboy:

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:
I am sure he felt the same way Angie.. :lol:
 

Wewild

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Good post.

I have a hard copy of that at work.

It is one of the best written stories that I have read.

I thought it was also one of the most humorous I had ever read.

I couldn't and still can't not bust out reading that.
 

backhoeboogie

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We catch them in the hog traps regularly and let them go. The stupid things get themselves caught over and over, even tho we pour diesel on the corn, soak the corn etc.

One buck got his head in the trip rope and rolled around like a catfish. He was held by the rope to both sides of the trap. We had to cut the rope and let him take it with him. Saw him a couple of weeks later with no rope on his horns. This was the buck that drug the hog trap across the pasture once we pulled the door off of it.
 

Lammie

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backhoeboogie":1kvmk9v7 said:
A 150 pound buck, once loose in a hog pen, can drag the pen with a 300 lb bro-in-law standing on it. The hog pen merely looks like a sled going across the pasture.

Yes I have been attacked by a buck too. They growl like dogs and bite and strike with their front feet. The only reason I am probably alive today is because of cedar trees in close proximity. If you know of someone raising a little deer on a bottle, they are essentially raising a killer. Once that cute little fawn turns in to a full grown buck and the rut is on, humans invade his domain, he will attack. Probably kill some kid. Do not raise deer on bottles.

Really funny Dun. It would not be so funny if it were not likely true.

Knowing who your brother-in-law is, since I went to school with him for 12 years, makes this whole scenario all the more funny! I can truly visualize it. Like a sled... :lol2: :clap: :banana:
 

Lammie

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angie":oay8ax5x said:
I had a colt I was breaking drag me like that once. Did you know that debris embedded into your head will work its way out weeks, even months, later??

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:

My son still has dirt coming out of his pores two years later. You wouldn't think that dirt could make it's way in that deep...
 

CKC1586

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Lammie":zu04l85l said:
angie":zu04l85l said:
I had a colt I was breaking drag me like that once. Did you know that debris embedded into your head will work its way out weeks, even months, later??

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:

My son still has dirt coming out of his pores two years later. You wouldn't think that dirt could make it's way in that deep...

Yup little bits of gravel can travel pretty deep too. :? The price of not letting go, right? Not gonna let em get away!
 

dun

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CKC1586":38d26mfi said:
Lammie":38d26mfi said:
angie":38d26mfi said:
I had a colt I was breaking drag me like that once. Did you know that debris embedded into your head will work its way out weeks, even months, later??

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:

My son still has dirt coming out of his pores two years later. You wouldn't think that dirt could make it's way in that deep...

Yup little bits of gravel can travel pretty deep too. :? The price of not letting go, right? Not gonna let em get away!

Had a Holstein calf of about 250 lbs that I was training to be an ox that took off one day and I hung on. I had a section of fence that I had set the T-posts but hadn;t put up the wire yet. He treated it as a slalom course. I didn;t navigate the slalom nearly as well as he did. But being on my back front and both sides I didn;t have the manueverability as he did
 

CKC1586

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dun":11bit1e0 said:
CKC1586":11bit1e0 said:
angie":11bit1e0 said:
I had a colt I was breaking drag me like that once. Did you know that debris embedded into your head will work its way out weeks, even months, later??

But I was smart ~ I hung on! :lol2: :help:
Sure showed him. :dunce:



Yup little bits of gravel can travel pretty deep too. :? The price of not letting go, right? Not gonna let em get away!

Had a Holstein calf of about 250 lbs that I was training to be an ox that took off one day and I hung on. I had a section of fence that I had set the T-posts but hadn;t put up the wire yet. He treated it as a slalom course. I didn;t navigate the slalom nearly as well as he did. But being on my back front and both sides I didn;t have the manueverability as he did
It was a Holstein calf that dragged me down our gravel road! It was my brother's habit to not work with his calves until the last minute before the fair and me being the dumb little sister fell for his plots and schemes to get me to work with them. Basically used me as an anchor on the end of the rope!
 

dun

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CKC1586":2a5ce37j said:
Basically used me as an anchor on the end of the rope!

With that calf I was a drag, and not a very good one, rather then an anchor
 

Earl Thigpen

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And if you pick up road kill make DARN sure it's really dead .... before you throw it in the back seat (or trunk) of your car.

Good one. :lol:
 

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