Question for the men. Man to man

After working on the ranch for a couple decades, my posterior is chapped and my boxers are stained. I've suddenly got the azz of an orangutan... hairy, sweaty, and smelly. I'm hoping there are a few men around who are out on the SXS and tractor every day, like me, and can share some product info. My Anti-Monkey Butt just ain't cutting it anymore, and the hair, oh the hair; can you say "dingleberries". I'm having trouble finding a balance that actually gets my plumbers cleavage clean without leaving it chapped. Hoping for some advice before I replace my whole system because booty care costs too much time that I could be fishing, or watching grass grow.
Eat some beans, wait until they ferment, and light the blue dart. No more hair or dingleberries. Only for the price of a match and a can of beans. You're welcome...
 
Never heard of Cas Walker, but there appears to be a ton of stories about him on the net. Another example of what a person can learn on this forum - not just limited to cattle. Looks like there could be a lot of entertainment reading about this guy. Maybe even more so than the CT celebrities.
 
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Did you ever find any good shart wipes? Not that I need them but asking for a friend
I gave up on those advertised consumer grade products. My wife made some commercial grade out of the “soft” Scotchbrite and essential oils.
I don’t have to be happy about it but she is.
It’s similar to sandpaper and kerosene on a cats azz, but I just grin and bare it for her. Gives me a boost in case I need to outrun her.
 
Good luck.
After working on the ranch for a couple decades, my posterior is chapped and my boxers are stained. I've suddenly got the azz of an orangutan... hairy, sweaty, and smelly. I'm hoping there are a few men around who are out on the SXS and tractor every day, like me, and can share some product info. My Anti-Monkey Butt just ain't cutting it anymore, and the hair, oh the hair; can you say "dingleberries". I'm having trouble finding a balance that actually gets my plumbers cleavage clean without leaving it chapped. Hoping for some advice before I replace my whole system because booty care costs too much time that I could be fishing, or watching grass grow.


4inch angle grinder and a jar of Vaseline. Cures most problems.

Like duct tape and para cord, million and one uses for this kinda stuff...
 
Never heard of Cas Walker, but there appears to be a ton of stories about him on the net. Another example of what a person can learn on this forum - not just limited to cattle. Looks like there could be a lot of entertainment reading about this guy. Maybe even more so than the CT celebrities.
As were the times, he was very regional (withing the tv viewing area, he probably had 85% market share from 5:30 am to 7:00am every weekday morning). Watching some of his videos on the internet is highly recommended. Especially the ones about "Thugs" and "Lady's Dresses".

I can remember my mom watching his show at 5:30 am as I was getting ready for school. When I was older, it was routine for him to escape from the Nursing Home and go to a Guitar Store he liked, just to hang out. It always made local headlines.
 
For the hair, use clippers. The little Andis 2 speed model that you clip show cattle with will work. Don't use the big Oster shearmasters. They can be a little aggressive. If you use the shearmasters, you might have to go on the hormone replacement therapy. And stock up on the blood stop paste.
I think dad called them scream masters
 
Cut off the bottom of your shirt if out away from the house - or so my friends tell me 😁
A guy I used to work with cowboyed in Montana a couple summers. He said if a guy came back to the ranch with only one sleeve on his tee shirt everyone knew what happened. If both sleeves were gone it must have been bad.
He also said that you didn’t throw them away, because if you washed them the local hoderite ladies would sew them back on for you.
 
After working on the ranch for a couple decades, my posterior is chapped and my boxers are stained. I've suddenly got the azz of an orangutan... hairy, sweaty, and smelly. I'm hoping there are a few men around who are out on the SXS and tractor every day, like me, and can share some product info. My Anti-Monkey Butt just ain't cutting it anymore, and the hair, oh the hair; can you say "dingleberries". I'm having trouble finding a balance that actually gets my plumbers cleavage clean without leaving it chapped. Hoping for some advice before I replace my whole system because booty care costs too much time that I could be fishing, or watching grass grow.
I know this wasn’t for me but you can thank me later. Brazilian or laser will fix you right up! Then put some A&D ointment on you and you’ll have the derrière of a porn star. 😊
 

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