Question for the men. Man to man

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Ouachita

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After working on the ranch for a couple decades, my posterior is chapped and my boxers are stained. I've suddenly got the azz of an orangutan... hairy, sweaty, and smelly. I'm hoping there are a few men around who are out on the SXS and tractor every day, like me, and can share some product info. My Anti-Monkey Butt just ain't cutting it anymore, and the hair, oh the hair; can you say "dingleberries". I'm having trouble finding a balance that actually gets my plumbers cleavage clean without leaving it chapped. Hoping for some advice before I replace my whole system because booty care costs too much time that I could be fishing, or watching grass grow.
 
We've got what's labeled "Triple Butt Paste"... prescription... very much like Desitin. Helps with the chapped part at least. It was prescribed for diaper rash when our kids were little... the youngest now is 13... so that's about how old the container is. Great stuff though, worked way better than Desitin ever did. No indication on the bottle of what's in it though, but it's a cream very similar into Desitin. Search it up online, gives you a pretty good indication.

Beyond that, I've heard that a "bidet" is great at cleanup... though I've never had the courage to try one!😲
 
try some crack wax. instead of pulling it and removing the hair, just leave it on. your crack will look shinny as glass in just a few days.
 
Thank you for the vivid description. For skin irritations of every kind - chapped nether areas, bee stings, poison oak, seborrhoeic dermatitis, whatever - use over the counter 1% cortisone cream. First wash the area with soap and water, dry, then apply a layer of cream, let it dry then apply another layer. This creates a 2% prescription strength of cortisone, a powerful anti inflammatory. Re apply every 4 to 6 hours.
 
For the hair, use clippers. The little Andis 2 speed model that you clip show cattle with will work. Don't use the big Oster shearmasters. They can be a little aggressive. If you use the shearmasters, you might have to go on the hormone replacement therapy. And stock up on the blood stop paste.



Those shearmasters need plenty of oil used or they get very hot cutting thick matted hair. If he accidentally applied a brand he would have to pay a fee and register that brand!
 
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And it will probably cure the mange in dogs. Reference Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife in the salve episode.
He was a local legend and had a morning tv show every weekday. The tv show was purely to promote his stores. He did not tell anyone that it was in fact him that manufactured and sold Supraderm.
His tv show was where 10 year old Dolly Parton got her start. He became the mayor of Knoxville and was on the cover of Life Magazine for a fight he got into at a city council meeting.

Edit: I had forgotten, but his show also launched the career of the Everly Brothers.

caswalkerfistfight-resized-600.png
 
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He was a local legend and had a morning tv show every weekday. The tv show was purely to promote his stores. He did not tell anyone that it was in fact him that manufactured and sold Supraderm.
His tv show was where 12 year old Dolly Parton got her start. He became the mayor of Knoxville and was on the cover of Life Magazine for a fight he got into at a city council meeting.

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Is that the same Cas Walker that had all of the well broke coon hounds for sale in the early seventies?
 

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