Tommy Ruyle
Well-known member
The following "sound bites" were taken off actual police car videos around the country. There are some pretty funny policemen out there!
14) . "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13) . "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12) . "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11) . "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10) . "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9) . "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8) . "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7) . "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."
6) . "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5) . "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4) . "Just how big were those two beers?"
3) . "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
2) . "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And the best one . . . . .
1) . "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." :shock:
14) . "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13) . "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12) . "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11) . "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10) . "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9) . "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8) . "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7) . "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."
6) . "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5) . "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4) . "Just how big were those two beers?"
3) . "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
2) . "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And the best one . . . . .
1) . "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." :shock:
