warpaint
Well-known member
A sign posted at a pool.
Only In Alabama
- Thread starter warpaint
- Start date
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A good snug fitting pair of "Depends" under your trunks will usually hide those "symptoms". :roll:
This is EXACTLY why so many people swim in the river nowdays. Way too many rules........................
This is EXACTLY why so many people swim in the river nowdays. Way too many rules........................
Alabama humor
The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Alabama women.
*********
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
*********
A senior at Alabama was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Alabama because everything happens in Alabama 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
*********
The young man from Alabama came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
*********
NEWS FLASH! - Alabama's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Alabama University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
*********
A man in Alabama had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire.
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."
Bathroom graffiti
Real bathroom graffiti found all over the place. Wheefun.
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Unknown origin.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C. [Yeah!]
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Unknown origin.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testosterone, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Alabama women.
*********
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
*********
A senior at Alabama was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Alabama because everything happens in Alabama 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
*********
The young man from Alabama came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
*********
NEWS FLASH! - Alabama's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Alabama University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
*********
A man in Alabama had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire.
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."
Bathroom graffiti
Real bathroom graffiti found all over the place. Wheefun.
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Unknown origin.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C. [Yeah!]
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Unknown origin.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testosterone, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
Jogeephus
Well-known member
Those are good. :lol:
chrisy
Well-known member
Sir Loin, you highjacked with some good ones there. :lol:
WP........good one :shock: :lol:
WP........good one :shock: :lol:
Jogeephus
Well-known member
warpaint":1renl2p7 said:A sign posted at a pool.
One might ask, "at what time are they permitted to swim"?
*Cowgirl*
Well-known member
:lol:
Horticattleman
Well-known member
saw grafitti in porta john the other day....
here i sit all tired and dirty,
trying to hide out til 4:30
under that it also said...
you go ahead and sit dirty and tired
because come 4:30 you're a$$ is fired.
saw it with my own eyes.
here i sit all tired and dirty,
trying to hide out til 4:30
under that it also said...
you go ahead and sit dirty and tired
because come 4:30 you're a$$ is fired.
saw it with my own eyes.
