Talltinter
Member
I am still learning.
This is what my wife sent to our friends today about our experiences
Greetings Readers, today's topic….strange smells (using that term politely). As most of you know, each day on the ranch has it's own amusing event(s). (I really should keep each of these and publish the lot in a book.) Today's lesson is cute critters.
A major part of our lives over the last two years has been research. Researching working ranches, horses, cows, different breeds of cattle, wildlife in central Texas (including snakes, spiders, and scorpions…ha, ha, ha), organic gardening, pecans, overhead expenses, breakevens, snake-proofing the dogs, you name it. Being the dog lovers that we are, we also put time into making sure we knew what types of things could be dangerous or harmful to our beloved Lady and Jessie. We talked to the vet, we searched the net, talked to people in the community that have lived out here their entire lives. We felt we had a good handle on it. Having a handle on it and not following your gut instinct are two different things.
Today was a long day at work for both Jeff and I. So, when I got the call from the handsome man to take me to dinner (vs. camp cooking again), of course I said yes. A couple of nice cool ice teas, our favorite waitress, and a pretty good but inexpensive dinner at the local diner and we were ready to go home to our four legged children.
To stray for just a moment, because this too, was it's own little event…Jeff pulled up to the mailbox, I pulled onto the driveway approach and got out to open gate number one (damn air remote still doesn't work) and promptly got into my car and moved forward. Jeff in suite, pulls through the gate and gets out to lock the gate behind him. Meanwhile, I am going down the long drive slowly as there are cows everywhere when all of a sudden, #38 calf bolts in front of my car and stops. Now she is only about 5 months old, but closing in on 500 pounds. After closely observing the Smith's herd on a daily basis for the last five months (while camping in the barn apartment L ), no one could ever convince me that these animals do not have individual personalities. They most certainly do! #38 calf is VERY, VERY inquisitive. (If the cows get into trouble, you can be certain #994 lead them to it; #931 has perpetual PMS and needs an attitude adjustment, etc.) I stop a moment and wait, she waits. I inch forward, she stands still. I tap the horn, she lowers her head where I can't see it over the hood…but she does not move. What is this kid doing?! So I get out of my car, she still doesn't move…she is looking up under the car trying to figure out where the horn sound came from! By this time, Jeff has caught up with me and is getting out of his truck, "what is she doing?" I quickly replied, 'checking under the hood'. Now during this time, she still has her head down and cocked sideways looking up under the car! Jeff and I are cracking up! "I don't get that kind of service at the service station anymore." Jeff shakes his head and goes back to his truck.
Quick left and now we are back to Today's Lesson.
One of the important country tips we received was to always keep a supply of tomato juice on hand in the panty. (Do you know where this is going yet?) We've known this for a while. However, we have VERY limited space in the 450 sq ft apartment. But none the less, when we went to the grocery the other night, I said "Babe, you think we ought to go ahead and get tomato juice and keep on hand?"
"Yeah, I guess so. No, never mind. We'll get it next time, let's just go home and relax a little."
"Okay, I'll leave it on the list for next trip." Now, my inner self was telling me to go ahead and run to the other end of the store while Jeff is in line and just grab a few cans of juice. I know not to ignore myself when I say things like that to myself (did you get that?), but I did anyway. L
So today, just a couple days later, I really, really, really wish I'd gone to the far end of the store and picked up that juice!
We pull up and I open gate #2 (air remote still note working), greet my eternally pregnant Llama, Molly and quickly assess that she is indeed 'forever pregnant'. Still no baby. Sigh. I get back in my car and pull under the carport and Jeff comes in behind and closes the gate (guess his air remote doesn't work either). I go to the back door and let my beautiful girls out, get my kisses and tell them to potty while Mom changes shoes to go over to the house to see what has been done today. This is our routine. Well, there had been a calf (small hooves, probably #38) all over in the barn on the wrong side of the fence. Molly's food bowl's missing and her 5gal water bucket has been dumped and over by the trees (No, Molly didn't do it. It had been carried.). Apparently, there was a bit of barn investigation followed by a little snack of the fresh hay bales neatly stacked on a pallet in the back corner of the barn. No big deal. "Hold on Molly, I'm going over to the house and I'll get your dinner and ice cream (her ice cream is carrots) and Daddy will get you water after we look at the house real quick." Well, my beautiful girls are running around chasing one another and as we walk towards the house they are off in a flash. There was no turning them back. Well, it's still light out…they will be right back, they have missed us all day and never go far right after we get home. We look through the house, looking really good. Just very sad we aren't in it already. We go back to the barn, still no girls. We call and no girls. We go inside and begin to run the vacuum and start a load of laundry. It hasn't been another five minutes and Jeff says, 'are the girls back yet?"
"Just a second and I'll see." Jeff's vacuuming by the front door so I go to the back door. I open it, see my beautiful girls sitting at the bottom of the step on the other side of the screen door and very quickly close the inside door. I stand there a minute. Can't be. I open the door once again, there they are still sitting at the bottom step looking at me, but once again I very quickly close the door. "Honey! Could you smell out here?"
"Smell what?"
"Could you come here just a second and smell out here?"
The vacuum turns off and he's coming through the kitchenette, now into the tack room…..(outside door is still closed and he has only made it two steps into the room)
"Good, God that's SKUNK!"
"Thought so." (well, I did.)
So as, we are gagging….(door still closed and girls outside, it is different than just driving through it. When it is concentrated and fresh, you gag.) We are racing around looking for the dog shampoo, brush, towels, doggie 'Sugar Cookie' perfume (boy, I'm glad I got that at the vet last trip), a cup…better make that one we can throw away, and both thinking we really should have gotten that tomato juice. And so, the fun begins.
Jeff grabs Jessie by the scruff of the neck and at full arm extension goes running to the mop sink. Thank goodness she's little. Lady is still waiting outside. Jessie seems pleased to be getting a bath. Jeff scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. Talk about baby pink skin. 'Babe, smell her and see if it's better. My nose is infested with the smell."
"Yep, think she's pretty good. Whew, her collar stinks though. Get it away from her and I'll try scrubbing it later."
"Ready to take 'YOUR' child?" (sounds like parents with real kids, huh)
I'm ready with towels and start trying to 'scrub her dry' with periodic sniffs to make sure it isn't seeping back. Meanwhile, Jessie is trying to rub into the towel. Obviously trying to aid in the stench removal. Suddenly, I hear Jeff "Grab a bunch more towels." There are bumps and bangs on the wall in the bathroom. I go running and Jeff has crawled into the shower with Lady. Please keep in mind that the shower in the barn rivals the size of the one in Amalfi, Italy. You know, the one that I just couldn't help but take a photo of Jeff in, the one he had to open the door in order to turn around in. I'm sure you remember that photo. (I thought it was funnier…..much, much, much funnier than he did-he hates small 'midget-sized' spaces. I thought it was absolutely hysterical! Thought I was going to have an asthma attack from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard. Maybe you had to be there, but it truly was funny.) So with that in mind….Jeff and Lady in the shower????? I didn't have the nerve to photo that one. (I'd already had dinner. Camera just didn't sound good.) Lady's sneezing, Jeff's gagging…."honey, could you wipe my eyes? They're on fire!" Lady's still sneezing, Jeff's coughing….."smell her head. Any…"
"Whew, it stinks!"
"Turn around, Lady…Mom says to soak your head again." Cough, cough…sneeze, sneeze, cough… An hour later, Jeff emerges with red eyes. "Still think I smell it on Lady. Where's that perfume?"
"You are supposed to spray it on them when they are dry."
"We'll spray it then, too." Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt…."ummmm, Vanilla skunk! Now, that's a new flavor."
"Trac', I don't have a long day tomorrow. I'll stop at the store on my way home, just give me the list.'
"Already in your wallet, Sweetie." Maybe I should add two collars to that list….
Well, that's it for today's comic report. Hope you enjoyed it.
Cheers!
This is what my wife sent to our friends today about our experiences
Greetings Readers, today's topic….strange smells (using that term politely). As most of you know, each day on the ranch has it's own amusing event(s). (I really should keep each of these and publish the lot in a book.) Today's lesson is cute critters.
A major part of our lives over the last two years has been research. Researching working ranches, horses, cows, different breeds of cattle, wildlife in central Texas (including snakes, spiders, and scorpions…ha, ha, ha), organic gardening, pecans, overhead expenses, breakevens, snake-proofing the dogs, you name it. Being the dog lovers that we are, we also put time into making sure we knew what types of things could be dangerous or harmful to our beloved Lady and Jessie. We talked to the vet, we searched the net, talked to people in the community that have lived out here their entire lives. We felt we had a good handle on it. Having a handle on it and not following your gut instinct are two different things.
Today was a long day at work for both Jeff and I. So, when I got the call from the handsome man to take me to dinner (vs. camp cooking again), of course I said yes. A couple of nice cool ice teas, our favorite waitress, and a pretty good but inexpensive dinner at the local diner and we were ready to go home to our four legged children.
To stray for just a moment, because this too, was it's own little event…Jeff pulled up to the mailbox, I pulled onto the driveway approach and got out to open gate number one (damn air remote still doesn't work) and promptly got into my car and moved forward. Jeff in suite, pulls through the gate and gets out to lock the gate behind him. Meanwhile, I am going down the long drive slowly as there are cows everywhere when all of a sudden, #38 calf bolts in front of my car and stops. Now she is only about 5 months old, but closing in on 500 pounds. After closely observing the Smith's herd on a daily basis for the last five months (while camping in the barn apartment L ), no one could ever convince me that these animals do not have individual personalities. They most certainly do! #38 calf is VERY, VERY inquisitive. (If the cows get into trouble, you can be certain #994 lead them to it; #931 has perpetual PMS and needs an attitude adjustment, etc.) I stop a moment and wait, she waits. I inch forward, she stands still. I tap the horn, she lowers her head where I can't see it over the hood…but she does not move. What is this kid doing?! So I get out of my car, she still doesn't move…she is looking up under the car trying to figure out where the horn sound came from! By this time, Jeff has caught up with me and is getting out of his truck, "what is she doing?" I quickly replied, 'checking under the hood'. Now during this time, she still has her head down and cocked sideways looking up under the car! Jeff and I are cracking up! "I don't get that kind of service at the service station anymore." Jeff shakes his head and goes back to his truck.
Quick left and now we are back to Today's Lesson.
One of the important country tips we received was to always keep a supply of tomato juice on hand in the panty. (Do you know where this is going yet?) We've known this for a while. However, we have VERY limited space in the 450 sq ft apartment. But none the less, when we went to the grocery the other night, I said "Babe, you think we ought to go ahead and get tomato juice and keep on hand?"
"Yeah, I guess so. No, never mind. We'll get it next time, let's just go home and relax a little."
"Okay, I'll leave it on the list for next trip." Now, my inner self was telling me to go ahead and run to the other end of the store while Jeff is in line and just grab a few cans of juice. I know not to ignore myself when I say things like that to myself (did you get that?), but I did anyway. L
So today, just a couple days later, I really, really, really wish I'd gone to the far end of the store and picked up that juice!
We pull up and I open gate #2 (air remote still note working), greet my eternally pregnant Llama, Molly and quickly assess that she is indeed 'forever pregnant'. Still no baby. Sigh. I get back in my car and pull under the carport and Jeff comes in behind and closes the gate (guess his air remote doesn't work either). I go to the back door and let my beautiful girls out, get my kisses and tell them to potty while Mom changes shoes to go over to the house to see what has been done today. This is our routine. Well, there had been a calf (small hooves, probably #38) all over in the barn on the wrong side of the fence. Molly's food bowl's missing and her 5gal water bucket has been dumped and over by the trees (No, Molly didn't do it. It had been carried.). Apparently, there was a bit of barn investigation followed by a little snack of the fresh hay bales neatly stacked on a pallet in the back corner of the barn. No big deal. "Hold on Molly, I'm going over to the house and I'll get your dinner and ice cream (her ice cream is carrots) and Daddy will get you water after we look at the house real quick." Well, my beautiful girls are running around chasing one another and as we walk towards the house they are off in a flash. There was no turning them back. Well, it's still light out…they will be right back, they have missed us all day and never go far right after we get home. We look through the house, looking really good. Just very sad we aren't in it already. We go back to the barn, still no girls. We call and no girls. We go inside and begin to run the vacuum and start a load of laundry. It hasn't been another five minutes and Jeff says, 'are the girls back yet?"
"Just a second and I'll see." Jeff's vacuuming by the front door so I go to the back door. I open it, see my beautiful girls sitting at the bottom of the step on the other side of the screen door and very quickly close the inside door. I stand there a minute. Can't be. I open the door once again, there they are still sitting at the bottom step looking at me, but once again I very quickly close the door. "Honey! Could you smell out here?"
"Smell what?"
"Could you come here just a second and smell out here?"
The vacuum turns off and he's coming through the kitchenette, now into the tack room…..(outside door is still closed and he has only made it two steps into the room)
"Good, God that's SKUNK!"
"Thought so." (well, I did.)
So as, we are gagging….(door still closed and girls outside, it is different than just driving through it. When it is concentrated and fresh, you gag.) We are racing around looking for the dog shampoo, brush, towels, doggie 'Sugar Cookie' perfume (boy, I'm glad I got that at the vet last trip), a cup…better make that one we can throw away, and both thinking we really should have gotten that tomato juice. And so, the fun begins.
Jeff grabs Jessie by the scruff of the neck and at full arm extension goes running to the mop sink. Thank goodness she's little. Lady is still waiting outside. Jessie seems pleased to be getting a bath. Jeff scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. Talk about baby pink skin. 'Babe, smell her and see if it's better. My nose is infested with the smell."
"Yep, think she's pretty good. Whew, her collar stinks though. Get it away from her and I'll try scrubbing it later."
"Ready to take 'YOUR' child?" (sounds like parents with real kids, huh)
I'm ready with towels and start trying to 'scrub her dry' with periodic sniffs to make sure it isn't seeping back. Meanwhile, Jessie is trying to rub into the towel. Obviously trying to aid in the stench removal. Suddenly, I hear Jeff "Grab a bunch more towels." There are bumps and bangs on the wall in the bathroom. I go running and Jeff has crawled into the shower with Lady. Please keep in mind that the shower in the barn rivals the size of the one in Amalfi, Italy. You know, the one that I just couldn't help but take a photo of Jeff in, the one he had to open the door in order to turn around in. I'm sure you remember that photo. (I thought it was funnier…..much, much, much funnier than he did-he hates small 'midget-sized' spaces. I thought it was absolutely hysterical! Thought I was going to have an asthma attack from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard. Maybe you had to be there, but it truly was funny.) So with that in mind….Jeff and Lady in the shower????? I didn't have the nerve to photo that one. (I'd already had dinner. Camera just didn't sound good.) Lady's sneezing, Jeff's gagging…."honey, could you wipe my eyes? They're on fire!" Lady's still sneezing, Jeff's coughing….."smell her head. Any…"
"Whew, it stinks!"
"Turn around, Lady…Mom says to soak your head again." Cough, cough…sneeze, sneeze, cough… An hour later, Jeff emerges with red eyes. "Still think I smell it on Lady. Where's that perfume?"
"You are supposed to spray it on them when they are dry."
"We'll spray it then, too." Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt…."ummmm, Vanilla skunk! Now, that's a new flavor."
"Trac', I don't have a long day tomorrow. I'll stop at the store on my way home, just give me the list.'
"Already in your wallet, Sweetie." Maybe I should add two collars to that list….
Well, that's it for today's comic report. Hope you enjoyed it.
Cheers!
