Jogeephus
Well-known member
Recently one of my wife's friends introduced us to her new boyfriend. Nice guy but definitely wasn't from around here. Before long my conversation led to his line of work. He was a salesman and sold a product called "Waterless Car Wash". Anyway, this got me to thinking about a new venture which I thought I'd run by you wise folks on the board and possibily get some input.
My new business model is will be centered around Waterless Grazing Technology. Seems I've been practicing this for the last couple of years and thought I'd go global with it on the internet. With some 200,000 hay producers and countless cattleman in the country I thought I might be able to market this service.
Service would include direct access to my website called MadcowInvestments.com. For a mere $5.00 per month, I will offer advice from cattle decisions to weather forecasts. All a member will need to do is post their question on my site and I will tell them what I would do in this particular situation and all they will need to do is do the opposite. This will be awefully useful to them at sales time or when they are considering whether or not to buy cattle. Ie, If I suggest you should buy cattle now cause they are cheap, you best wait cause the bottom is fixing to fall out. The inverse of my advice is guaranteed and proven to be 95% accurate. We at MadCow pride ourselves on our Inverse Accuracy and have the track record to prove it!
Also, for a mere $2.00 per month, I will offer customers a instantaneous e-mail each time I go to cut hay. This will give customers a 100% guarantee that it will rain in the next three days regardless of what the weatherman says. For those outside the continental US, all you got to do is give me your current weather conditions and ask me whether or not I would cut hay under these conditions and do the opposite. Guaranteed to work since my abilities are not confined to continental borders.
Also, for the first 20,000 subscribers, I will offer our Certified Agricultural Bulletin aka CAB. This will give you sound advice on whether or not to plant your crops. This package - worth $4.50/month - is guaranteed to yield you bumper yields of whatever it is you grow.
Oh, for those of you who are tax savvy, our services are 100% deductible and in the event you sell a $500 heifer for $100,000 we will gladly bill you more if you need the deduction. We don't mind one bit. After all, we are here to serve you and your operation. After all, would you rather give it to Sam or give it to MadCow so we can continue our research and unsound agricultural studies.
So what do you think? Anyone wanting to invest and get on the ground floor? Remember, all investors will be paid dividends monthly from the sale of precious metals derived from the day to day operations of MadCow Investment Global Waterless Grazing Technologies. A quick view of the stock market will reveal to you the high price of aluminum and give you a glimpse of the potential income you could receive.
My new business model is will be centered around Waterless Grazing Technology. Seems I've been practicing this for the last couple of years and thought I'd go global with it on the internet. With some 200,000 hay producers and countless cattleman in the country I thought I might be able to market this service.
Service would include direct access to my website called MadcowInvestments.com. For a mere $5.00 per month, I will offer advice from cattle decisions to weather forecasts. All a member will need to do is post their question on my site and I will tell them what I would do in this particular situation and all they will need to do is do the opposite. This will be awefully useful to them at sales time or when they are considering whether or not to buy cattle. Ie, If I suggest you should buy cattle now cause they are cheap, you best wait cause the bottom is fixing to fall out. The inverse of my advice is guaranteed and proven to be 95% accurate. We at MadCow pride ourselves on our Inverse Accuracy and have the track record to prove it!
Also, for a mere $2.00 per month, I will offer customers a instantaneous e-mail each time I go to cut hay. This will give customers a 100% guarantee that it will rain in the next three days regardless of what the weatherman says. For those outside the continental US, all you got to do is give me your current weather conditions and ask me whether or not I would cut hay under these conditions and do the opposite. Guaranteed to work since my abilities are not confined to continental borders.
Also, for the first 20,000 subscribers, I will offer our Certified Agricultural Bulletin aka CAB. This will give you sound advice on whether or not to plant your crops. This package - worth $4.50/month - is guaranteed to yield you bumper yields of whatever it is you grow.
Oh, for those of you who are tax savvy, our services are 100% deductible and in the event you sell a $500 heifer for $100,000 we will gladly bill you more if you need the deduction. We don't mind one bit. After all, we are here to serve you and your operation. After all, would you rather give it to Sam or give it to MadCow so we can continue our research and unsound agricultural studies.
So what do you think? Anyone wanting to invest and get on the ground floor? Remember, all investors will be paid dividends monthly from the sale of precious metals derived from the day to day operations of MadCow Investment Global Waterless Grazing Technologies. A quick view of the stock market will reveal to you the high price of aluminum and give you a glimpse of the potential income you could receive.
