Joke of the Year

[TexasBred]

Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

 

[3waycross]

TB...if you will PM me your email address I will send you the cordinates for a safe house to hide out for a while after the CT ladies read this one... :lol2:

You DO have some guts my friend :tiphat:

 

[alisonb]

Ooooo TB, I just had to post this whilst I was minding my own business, I was getting kind of bored .

Men And Automobiles

Man is like an automobile. As it gets older, the differential starts
slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The
transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of
low. The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the
slightest incline.
When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one
wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with
pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning.
It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The
thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The
headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant recharging.
But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the
impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the
primrose lane before the head gasket blows. Gentlemen, start your engines.

:lol: :lol:

 

[alacattleman]

like a old man told me once,,when he got a certain age he qut worryin' about looking pretty and just concetrated on being clean and not making any excess noises :cowboy:

 

[TexasBred]

Good one Alison....and 99.99% true. :lol2:

 

[dun]

Also the shortest joke of all time.

 

[3waycross]

Ooooo TB, I just had to post this whilst I was minding my own business, I was getting kind of bored .

Men And Automobiles

Man is like an automobile. As it gets older, the differential starts
slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The
transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of
low. The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the
slightest incline.
When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one
wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with
pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning.
It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The
thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The
headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant recharging.
But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the
impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the
primrose lane before the head gasket blows. Gentlemen, start your engines.

:lol: :lol:

And........like a car if you put a pretty young thing behind the wheel it will go like he[[ right up to the time it just flat can't go anymore........ :cowboy:

 

[chrisy]

Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them.
Personally, I think if you can hear them whining you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow! ;-)