OP
OP
Anonymous
See, now your confusing yourself. You were the one with the comb, in fact it was the bearded lady's. The same bearded lady that gave you those bruises.
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cross_7
Well-known member
well there was that time i was milking the cow and she kicked the bucket over so i hobbled her.
then she slapped with her tail so i got a rope and tied it to her tail then tried the rope to the barn rafters and then i got ants in my pants so dropped my my pants to my ankles to get the ants out my pants and my wife comes around the corner.
so the milk cow is hobbled and has her tail tied to the rafters and i'm standing there with my pants down,
that was hard to explain
then she slapped with her tail so i got a rope and tied it to her tail then tried the rope to the barn rafters and then i got ants in my pants so dropped my my pants to my ankles to get the ants out my pants and my wife comes around the corner.
so the milk cow is hobbled and has her tail tied to the rafters and i'm standing there with my pants down,
that was hard to explain
The Real Comb Story
I was sitting in the ER after a work related knock to the noggin, no I don't work in the medical field, and you certainly don't want me operating on you. So anyhow, I'm waiting to be ushered to the back when this lady comes marching in the ER, and talking almost in a holler. She marches up to the front desk and says "WE NEED THE DOCTOR THIS BOYS DONE SHOVED A COMB UP HIS AZZ AND WE CANT GET IT OUT!". Everyone just freezes and stares in shock. The automatic doors open and a boy about 18-19 years old weighing every bit of 450 lbs, and all of 5 foot 9, is inching his way in the ER ever so slowly. His mother continues her rant "YOU JUST HAD TO SHOVE A COMB IN YOUR AZZ!" she just goes on and on. I'm on my way back with a nurse when I see the Dr. Round the corner and say to them "AWW AGAIN?" :shock:
And thats how I first met Hook. :lol:
I was sitting in the ER after a work related knock to the noggin, no I don't work in the medical field, and you certainly don't want me operating on you. So anyhow, I'm waiting to be ushered to the back when this lady comes marching in the ER, and talking almost in a holler. She marches up to the front desk and says "WE NEED THE DOCTOR THIS BOYS DONE SHOVED A COMB UP HIS AZZ AND WE CANT GET IT OUT!". Everyone just freezes and stares in shock. The automatic doors open and a boy about 18-19 years old weighing every bit of 450 lbs, and all of 5 foot 9, is inching his way in the ER ever so slowly. His mother continues her rant "YOU JUST HAD TO SHOVE A COMB IN YOUR AZZ!" she just goes on and on. I'm on my way back with a nurse when I see the Dr. Round the corner and say to them "AWW AGAIN?" :shock:
And thats how I first met Hook. :lol:
OP
OP
Anonymous
Aw geez...you win...that's funny stuff!
cow pollinater
Well-known member
I worked at a pack station as a guide in my late teens.
One time we had a six foot tall 350lb "woman" with a mullet, lots of peircings, combat boots and a flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off come in and tell us she wanted to take her "partner" for a scenic trail ride. We didn't want to lame up a good horse packing her so we put her on a pack-mule and her very attractive young girlfreind got a kid safe mule.
Now Dynomite wasn't broke to ride that we knew of but he'd packed just about everything you can imagine including dynomite so we figured he'd do fine... I just lied to the ladies and told them it was our policy to string up and lead anyone who'd never been on a horse before. We had to back the mule up to the loading dock to get her on but we got it done between the three of us and I hit the trail.
Dynomite was one of those good mules that learned how to shift his own load to keep it from slipping but he was really struggling to keep that gal on his back. I had to stop and cinch him up a few times while he caught his breath.
Back at the pack station, I helped the smaller girl slide off her steed and then we turned out attention to the biggun. We had a guy holding the lead rope and controlling the mule, one guy on the off-side, and two of us on the on-side to catch her. She followed directions and started to dismount but when she slid down her ultra-tight sports bra hooked on the saddle horn and she stopped about a foot off the ground. :shock:
The two of us couldn't get her picked back up to un-hook her, the guy on the off-side din't know what happened, and Dynomite lost patience. He started to hump up and buck with this gal dangling off his side and knocking us clear out of his way. Luckily the guy on the off-side ripped the billet open and dropped the cinch. That gal landed in a heap with a saddle stuck up her shirt. :mrgreen: She was to tough to admit that it hurt so we got off easy.
One time we had a six foot tall 350lb "woman" with a mullet, lots of peircings, combat boots and a flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off come in and tell us she wanted to take her "partner" for a scenic trail ride. We didn't want to lame up a good horse packing her so we put her on a pack-mule and her very attractive young girlfreind got a kid safe mule.
Now Dynomite wasn't broke to ride that we knew of but he'd packed just about everything you can imagine including dynomite so we figured he'd do fine... I just lied to the ladies and told them it was our policy to string up and lead anyone who'd never been on a horse before. We had to back the mule up to the loading dock to get her on but we got it done between the three of us and I hit the trail.
Dynomite was one of those good mules that learned how to shift his own load to keep it from slipping but he was really struggling to keep that gal on his back. I had to stop and cinch him up a few times while he caught his breath.
Back at the pack station, I helped the smaller girl slide off her steed and then we turned out attention to the biggun. We had a guy holding the lead rope and controlling the mule, one guy on the off-side, and two of us on the on-side to catch her. She followed directions and started to dismount but when she slid down her ultra-tight sports bra hooked on the saddle horn and she stopped about a foot off the ground. :shock:
The two of us couldn't get her picked back up to un-hook her, the guy on the off-side din't know what happened, and Dynomite lost patience. He started to hump up and buck with this gal dangling off his side and knocking us clear out of his way. Luckily the guy on the off-side ripped the billet open and dropped the cinch. That gal landed in a heap with a saddle stuck up her shirt. :mrgreen: She was to tough to admit that it hurt so we got off easy.
